Family Problems (long story)..my brother?

Question

My 16 year old brother is doing illegal activities; drinking & driving..drugs, stealing anything not tied down (gas, money, ect)stealing money from my parents. He crashed a vehicle and my dad bailed him out of court trouble. My problem is I have 2 small kids, and I dont want them exposed to this. My parents pretend they are oblivious to his actions, but speaking up about it causes HUGE fights. They even said that I was the one stealing the money, not him :<(
It hurts reallly bad to for them to overlook this terrible behavior, but my kids are way more important than him. This is not a situation where u sit down with family and TALK it out. My brother is very hateful and cold hearted, and even mentioned hurting (slapping ) my toddler. Can he be legally held responsible for all of this, and can I have him investigated while remaining anonymous? Also, Id like to know if anyone else has been in this situation....where your brother would be better off behind bars, than in society?? Thank

I would like to add that I am grown, and do not live at home, but we live on the same street.

Answer 1

Wow that's a tough one. Do you live w/ your parents? Is moving out an option?
It sounds like your brother needs help, but you are right that your first obligation is to your kids.
Try getting him into an anger management program, or a scared straight type thing. You have to help him while he is young...once he is 18 then he will start doing hard time and facing much harsher consequence.
Your parents need a wake up call too it sounds like.
The best advice I can offer right now is to try to find a community mediation center in your area. Call them and their intake professional can tell you if your situation fits their services.
GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 2

I think it is best that you keep your children away from this atrocity, like moving out? Your parents may act totally oblivious to what he is doing because it has been happening for so long and they don't know what to do about it anymore but ignore it and when the subject comes up -- they don't want to be bothered by it so fighting ensues. My now 18-year-old brother is the same exact way, he steals money from me and my mother constantly and was recently being tracked down by the federal government for fraud. Your brother is never going to learn if your parents keep digging him out of his battles. He can be held responsible for the drugs and the drinking and driving, and even threatning a household member (if you live with him). You can remain anonymous.

Answer 3

Honey, your best option right now is to limit your contact with your parents and brother. You are right. This is not good for your children, and being their father, you have some hard decisions to make. I would recommend calling in a tip to the police, but I don't know how much good it will do. If nothing else, they will be more aware of him the next time he pulls a stunt. I don't have alot of experience with siblings being that way, because I was alot like your brother as a teenager. I didn't steal or drive drunk, but I was a horrible burden on my family for several years. Having children of my own now, I know what kind of pain that caused. I hope I helped.

Answer 4

The most important issue for you here is that you do not need to be living in the same house with your parents or with your brother if you have two toddlers of your own. You must acquire your own living quarters and care for your children where they do not have to come into contact with your brother. If your parents are being too permissive, and it seems that they are, you cannot change them. Stop trying to change them. It is not your responsibility to raise your brother but it is your responsibility to take immediate precautions to prevent him from upsetting you and harming your children. Move out. Best wishes.

Answer 5

if you have specific details (where he buys drugs),( where he is drinking) then you can call anonymously, most communities have a number where you can do that. You might want to think about going down to the police station or calling and talking to a detective about your suspicions. I definitely would keep the children away from him, if that means not going to your parents house (they are in denial), then you may have to make that choice. THEY are your first priority.

Answer 6

I think YOUR brother and MY brother are related!
When my brother was your brother's current age, and older, unfortunately, he was into all of the same sorts of things.
There are five years between he and I and I had small kids during his rampage as well. In fact, HE had a child come into the world as well, and I had protect her too.
UGH
My parent were obilivious to him when he was doing 'mild' things earlier on in his life, so by the time he was 17-20 they'd basically given up on him and it was up to me to protect my children from him.
He went through 'okay' phases where he was trying to recover and make something of himself, but it took him a good long while before he was better. (Yes, he eventually woke up and is doing much better now ... he is 27 now.)
What did I do about my kids? Kept them the heck away from him! We saw him at family functions (holidays bascially) and that was about it.
As far as dicussing it with my parents, oh HECK NO! My father would get all preachy and then we'd have to have a family counsel that basically involved my father speaking and my brother arguing with him while the rest of us sat there and prayed we could all leave!
Your brother is 16. He is still a minor and unless he does something that your parents WON'T bail him out for, he is legally their responsibility and you are pretty much out of luck.
HOWEVER if he EVER touches one of your children, the ball is in YOUR court and you press charges against him. It will cause all kinds of grief in your family, but YOU have a resposibility to protect YOUR children the same way your parents are (unfortunately) protecting your brother (believe you me, there are times I wanted to just strangle my parents for bailing my brother's sorry butt out of jail!).
This is getting long winded. I could go on and on and on and on...and on about this since I know exactly what you are dealing with.
please feel free to contact me through my yahoo contact information. I would post it here, but I get too much crap mail if I post my email addy on here.

Answer 7

you do right to make sure your kids are safe but the first thing you would want to do is get them outta that house. by your brother still being a minor he still falls under your parents control and if they cant see whats going on then you need to take your kids and leave...

Answer 8

Turn your sister over to Child Protective Services for placement in foster care until she is 18.

Answer 9

are u bigger than him. and physicaly too. wel if u are beat the crap out of him for like a minute and say ***** if u touch my kids ill fuken beat the crap out of u, and say look wat ur doing to mom and dad . also tell him to clean up hsis act and show him what could happoen if he doesnt. also ya put him in lik ejuvi jail for a while hell get scared and will elarn aventuly.