How do we as girls, know what lines not to cross so as not to appear "needy." When you are going out with someone and things are going well, are there anythings, even minor, that begin to tell you that the girl might be "needy?" Are men annoyed when woman call them? Do they need to constantly feel that they are still "hunting" you? Or is it different for all guys. Tell us girls what annoys you or anything else we might need to know.
2006-07-24 15:12:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a very good question, and I can only tell you how it has been in my personal experience. Sometimes, it is when the girl is just way too impressed with me, because I know I am an evil **** and only want to get in her pants(at first). It is also when the girl blathers on about plans for "us" in the future. If we get past today, then I'll talk to you about tomorrow. The other extreme is when a girl acts like there is nothing whatsoever that you can ever do to impress her or make her want you. I think the most attractive quality that makes me want more, is a playful flirtaceousness, a coy come-hither quality that always promises more to come. Laugh at my jokes, but only if I'm funny. Give me a wink and let me know you like me. Let me touch you, but only so far, and let me know when it's never enough. Show me you are a worthy soul, of respect, of love, of a guy who is worthy like me. Sincerely, UC Steve.
2006-07-24 15:25:54 · answer #1 · answered by UCSteve 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is a hard one to answer, because what is "needy" to one person might seem cute to another.
One thing that generally applies to most guys is that we never notice "minor" things. So quit worrying about that (worrying too much can seem needy to some people).
The best answer that I can give you is to pay attention to what your guy actually says. He will usually tell you the truth if you are taking up too much of his time at the beginning of the relationship. If he tells you that you are acting too needy, then you are. This sounds like common sense, but you will be surprised how many girls do not pay attention to what a guy literally says (They are so busy trying to discover "what is he really thinking", that they miss the forest for the trees). If he says that he needs some "space" because he wants to hang out with his guy friends for a weekend, then be self-confident enough to let him.
On the other hand, if he doesn't say anything, then he probably does not mind what you are doing.
If you are not sure, you can ask him ONCE, if he minds you calling him. If he says no, don't keep asking the same question over and over again, because that does come across as insecure and needy. He probably gave you an honest answer the first time.
Does that help any?
*****edit****
Everyone here gave some very good answers, by-the-way. I agree with almost everything that just about everyone said.
2006-07-24 15:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes needy and girlie are cute, but a little bit can go a long ways.
Try to avoid being put in the "high maintenance" category.
If a girl starts babbling on and on about petty problems at work or with her girlfriends then we wonder, "if she can't handle these minor issues then what will happen when something major comes along?"
Most guys are not that strong with the art of communication. You need to come down to out level for a while. Short answers are fine sometimes. Silence is OK too. Relax and enjoy the moment. A smile says a lot more than words.
Regarding talking on the phone, there is no need to have frequent long conversations when a short one will do. Save talking for when you are actually together.
2006-07-24 15:15:10 · answer #3 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calling is occasionally is ok, calling constantly is not. If he does not sound happy that you called, that should be a hint that you are being too needy. For guys, the phone is more of a tool. When guys call other guys, it is usually to exchange information, not just to talk. It's ok not to see or talk to your boyfriend every now and then.
As for the hunting part, this probably varies by guy. Some guys like the hunt, others don't (personally I don't like the hunt). It might be in your interest to still be "hunted" because it means he is not taking you for granted.
As for other things that might make you seem needy:
You don't let him go out with his friends or otherwise don't let him do things he wants to.
Wanting to a guy to explain everything he says. Asking "What do you really mean by that?" For the most part, guys mean what they say. There are no underlying meanings.
You stop hanging out with your friends. This means your boyfriend is responsible for your entire social life, and that's alot of pressure.
Space is the key in not seeming needy. Make sure you give him enough. Even though you may want to spend every waking moment with him, if you do, you risk shortening and prematurely ending the relationship.
2006-07-24 15:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by aueagle2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can guarantee that every man is different in his thinking about relationships and being needy, personally I can never tell if a girl is needy or not, I love it when they call me all the time, even if it is just to say hi and hear my voice, but like I say every man is different.
2006-07-24 15:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calling a man more than once during his work shift unless something urgent happened=needy. Staying over their man's place every night=needy. Basically if you need your man 24/7 and a dislike of his normal routine (watching the game, working on the car) --that is needy.
2006-07-24 15:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by tucsondude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady
you are so right. guys are all so different. Some guys like woman who put up with anything and others, although we dont know why, get so annoyed with that. Guys act needy too. Were all such a mess!
2006-07-24 15:18:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that a girl can be too needy if the guy is really into you. If he's really into you, he will like all the attention and stuff like that. If he's not into you he will probably end it with you and claim "too needy" as the reason but it's probably just because he lost interest.
2006-07-24 15:18:04 · answer #8 · answered by bigbadwolf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every guy is different. Needy to me is somebody who has to always be there no matter where you are. Always needing attention. Sometimes we just need some alone time or time with buddies to go hangout and watch movies or have a beer. Talk about guy stuff. But we still want to know that we are desired by you and you desire us. We still want you to flirt with us like it was our first date. But that is my opinion.
2006-07-24 15:23:21 · answer #9 · answered by D-man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, guys tend to be more 'low maintenance', and gals tend to be more 'high maintenance'.But, if there's something you want or need from your guy, he won't know unless you speak up. On the other hand, if you're always asking for stuff, that's annoying too, possibly...there's a balance, there.
2006-07-24 15:16:53 · answer #10 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋