my dad is an alcoholic and he dosent call me or any of the family not even on holidays.and im sick and tired of sitting up crying over him at night and i want to call him and go off or write him a letter telling him hes a worthless dad but hes my dad and im afraid of the consiquenss.what should i do?
2006-07-24 14:53:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell him you want your dad, a sober dad to be around and to be able to answer questions you have and spend time with you. My dad was an alcholic and it is and can be diagnosed as a disease so to speak. But I wouldn't do it in person unless you know he will not be violent and if you do it in person have somebody close by with you when you talk to him. But not in the same room.
If you talk to him at least you will know in your heart that you tried and there will be some closure. Its always worth trying.
2006-07-24 14:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by D-man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since it does not seem to bother him, then you have to work out why it bothers you. If you are a teenager, then I would recommend Alateen. If you are an adult, then try Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) or Al Anon. These are wonderful programs. They are free. All you have to do is go to the meetings and want to feel better. All of the people there will understand what you are going through and how you feel, and can offer helpful ideas of how to deal with your feelings.
Unfortunately, there isn't much that you can do to MAKE your father want sobriety. The best that you can do is take care of YOU!
In Al Anon there is a slogan that says "Happiness is an inside job", meaning that, when you become happy on the inside, then everything in life takes on new perspective.
You can find out where local meetings are held by calling Al Anon Intergroup listed in your local phone book's yellow pages under Alcohol and Drug Abuse. You can also look them up on the internet.
I hope this helps. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, give them a try.
2006-07-24 15:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by Oblivia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for the pain your father is putting you through. Alcoholism is a terrible disease and, unfortunately, there isn't much you can do for him. He's the only one who can turn things around. And, honestly, there are a lot of us here who simply didn't get all that great of a father. But it's ok. It's YOU that matters. How will you live and define your life around the people you care and love? Write your dad a letter. Say everything you've always wanted to say. And then tear it into pieces and let him go. Move forward with YOUR life. Make your life one that matters. He may come back someday... you never know. But don't waste another minute on your crying.
2006-07-24 14:59:39 · answer #3 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, i feel for u!! Actually never grew up with an alocoholic parent. Over the years though my mother has turned into a whin-o. In my case im just playing it by ear. Relating to your dad though do what fulfills your needs. Call him or write him?? I have forgiven my mother for all the problems she has caused the family. Just remember, You ONLY have one set of parents!! Dont hate him because of it. It`s really hard not to, but, you will like yourself in the end. If he should die tomorrow after reading a letter from you degrading him, how would you REALLY feel??
I wish you all the luck!! Keep your chin up! Be proud that he is still alive anyways? Most kids do not have a dad/mom thats still alive.
2006-07-24 15:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by brock 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You realize that it isn't your fault. You go on with your life and just hope for the best for your dad.
You can not make anyone do the right thing, especially an alcoholic. They have no sense of reasoning and when they are sober for a minute, they are too embarrassed.
Just go on living and make friends and they will substitute as a family for you, in some weird way.
Be The Love You Seek.
2006-07-24 14:58:56 · answer #5 · answered by Cookie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Megan,
You don't have to 'go off' on him but maybe writing him a letter and just telling him from your heart how you feel would not only help you to cope but by showing your maturity you may also reach him in ways that meanness and spite would otherwise only drive him further away into his alcoholism.
2006-07-24 15:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm related to alcoholic mother and a couple uncles.
but here's one advice: You can get some family together, like sibs, grandparents, some of his sibs, extended family, his friends, and stage an intervention. Have each of them tell him how his alcoholism affects them, and set an ultimatum that either he gets help or he gets cut out of their lives. Also, have people quit helping him, and allow him to hit rock bottom, even if it means him being homeless and going hungry, because it does take extreme measures.
2006-07-24 15:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta contact him and tell him how you feel in a supportive tone so you don't lose him. Encourage him to join Alcoholics Anonymous-AA- and tell him you want him to come around more because you care a lot about him. Good luck. We can't just sit back and let our loved ones drift away.
2006-07-24 15:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a support group for people in the same situation. I recommend Al Anon. You can find them on this website. Good Luck!
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2006-07-24 14:58:18 · answer #9 · answered by Professor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get all the people together that love him and care about he in one place to talk to him and to ask him to get help so that he can be with all of you.Get everyone to wright down what they want to say and tell him this will be the last time, it is his choise.
2006-07-24 15:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋