help on my life please!!!!?

Question

okay i am very unhappy living with my dad and my horrible step mother at home. i am here visiting my mom and i have noticed how unhappy i really am. i want to stay here but then again i want to give my dad a chance to be a father. i want to tell him how i really feel about my step mom but if he slips i could get into some huge trouble. that is when i would call my mom...call cps...or wait to go to school to talk to my councelor and tell them i am being abused. the problem is that my dad has no idea when he is at work how my step mom really acts towards my brother and sister and i...mostly my brother and i though. another problem is that when i go home on aug2 then i would tell my dad...and i wouldnt go back to school until the 15 of aug. my point is that if he slipped i would have to live in hell until i went back to school. what should i do? i am going to cps tomorrow to know what to expect and to ask questions. i still need some advise from people who care about what i am going thru.

my father is a cop! and my mom already knows...cps is child protection services for those who did not know. i am going tomorrow to find out what to expect.

not a lot of people understand what i am going through. i am mostly quiet and it is very hard for me to tell not only my dad but my step mom as well. if i were to tell her such as some of you say i would definitially be beaten. no doubt. when i say abused i dont mean physically i mean emotionally . she tries to turn me against my real mother who is not a bad person at all. the only reason why my father has custody of me is because he is a cop and the courts told my mom that they thought we were better off with him. i told the courts that i wanted to live with my dad...but i was being bribed and lied to. i was told( at age 6-7 1/2) i would get anything i wanted if i came to live with him. none of these promises have been withheld. i went to live with him at age 8. ever since then i have been living with this problem and i regret saying i wanted to live with my dad. not b/c of him i cant blame him if i dont try to tell him. but b/c now i am going on 14 and i cant believe its so long now

Answer 1

Is your stepmom abusing you?
If she is, you have to tell not just your dad, but your mom, and cps and just about every other adult in the known world.
What do you mean "if he (your dad) slipped?" Do you mean, what if he told your stepmom what you said?
OMG, honey, if you are that afraid of her, you need to tell your mother that you and your siblings need to get out of there.
Your dad's 'chance' to be a father should be letting you live in a place where you are not afraid!!
You need to get your mom and cps involved if you are that afraid of going back to your dad's house.

Answer 2

Try to secretly video tape what is going on. If she is physically abusing you and your brother and sometimes your sister.....there must be enough verbal evidence to warrant a police investigation. A parent might not believe the story of one child but if the stories of all 3 of u kids are the same somebody will listen. Step relationships are hard for all involved but one with physical abuse if unforgivable and illegal. If you are telling the truth now, you must tell someone before you go back home !!..............


Well Emotional is a completely different circumstance. This is very hard to evaluate. Sometimes kids hate step parents right off the bat. If you guys are not showing respect to her as a partner to your father then she is probably giving back what she receives. All Step stories are horror stories. I do not believe that all steps are evil. I do believe that kids do not like steps no matter who they are. Give her the same courtesies that you would give to your natural parents and see if the situations changes.

PS - At 14 - any court will give you the option of living with the parent of choice as long as your mom is a good law abiding citizen you have a voice.

Answer 3

It would be best to find a time that You can talk to Your Dad, away from home and work. While You are still at Your Mom's. If He lives close enough, Your Mom should invite Him over so You can talk to Him in Person. That way You will be out of harms way, and You will find out the answer while You are in the safety zone. Now about CPS, I worked in a job that saw some terrible abandonment, and abuse cases, many were very small Children. But it occurs with all ages. And I witnessed CPS send the Children back home. That has been a while, but You have to know that many CPS workers may have good intentions, but when You put Your problems up against Children in fear of dying, You will be further down on the priority list. It can't hurt to ask them, but they may want to take all of Your information down first. And always get the name of the Person You speak to, and speak to a Supervisor if You can. You didn't say why You are at Your Dad's, and not still at Your Mom's.

I had a Friend, who I lost to illness two years ago. When She was at the age of 13, Her Mother and Father were going to a wedding. They arrived in the town a litlle early so They decided to pull over and get some coffee before heading on to the wedding. As They pulled into the driveway of the Restaurant, a Car that was speeding broad sided Them, killing Her Mother instantly, and almost killing Her Dad. Years later when He started dating, He would show up on Friday night with His girlfriend, at Their home, so He could take a shower and get some clothes for the weekend. The Lady was very nice while He was in the room, but as soon as He went into another room the Lady would say, "Why don't You kids get out of here, He doesn't need You, You just need to leave". And a lot of more ugly things. My point He never knew. But it was His responsiblity to know, and if He can not figure it out on His own, He, like Your Dad needs to be told. I always say, You can't, not, tell People what You want Them to do, and then get upset that They didn't do it. Please don't interpret that as blaming You, because I am in no way blaming You, Your Brother, or Your Sister. You are Children, I am just trying to say You need to let Him know so that He has an opportunity to do something about it. And if He chooses the abusive Wife over His Children, it is His loss. Either way You will be safe.

May God Bless You All, and May You Be Safe

People do not understand. My Dad was abusive, read back in My answers and You will see that He was. He was physically, emotionally, and physcologically abusive. And get this, He was a Police Officer, honest. So people do not understand, especially if You live in the same town where He works, that more likely than not, They are going to take His word. After all He is an Officer of the Court. What He says is taken as truth every day. And We all know how Police Departments like to back Their own. Because They will look bad if They showed the truth. You have to start praying right now. This is huge, and God can help You and Your siblings, and keep You safe. When My Dad hurt Me, it healed, the emotional abuse stays with You, always. You can know that Your a good Person, and live to be one, but that voice will rear its ugly head at times to try and make You doubt yourself.
It would help to have proof, but You do not have time, You need to make Your move now, while You are safe. Your Mom needs to be strong. My Mom went through Hell, but She finally stood tall, and saved us.

Again God Bless You All

Answer 4

I come from a similar situation.
At age 12 I moved across country to live with dad and evil step mom. Eventually, she got so fed up with me that she told my dad it's her or me....she was gone a week later. I wasn't doing anything wrong, she was; and I stood up for myself against her.

But then, there was abuse from my step father, and my mom took his side (that's how I ended up at dads at age 12, my mom didn't believe me).

Here's my point, you can only make the right choices for you. And your parents will do what they feel is best. You can not control their actions, only yours. And as far as upsetting your step mom--so what??? She is upsetting you right now, and you need to not only talk to your father but her as well.

You have a right to your thoughts and feelings and they should be voiced if it is a big deal to you.

Try to be mature. Probably write down what you want to say, or even write a letter and go over it and over it until you feel everything you needed to say has been said.

You have to look out for number one here.

Do what you feel is best for you and your current situation.

Answer 5

I don't know what a cps is but get help, I would talk to your dad and if that doesn't work talk to someone, she can't treat you like that, my mom was abusive so don't give them the chance they'll take it

Answer 6

I'm not sure of whats going on with you and your siblings but I definetly think you need to tell someone that can give you the help you need.You and your siblings should not feel afraid to tell someone.Please tell someone that can help.Good Luck

Answer 7

You need to talk to your dad and tell him everything. This is not a good situation. Be honest. You have to be safe. Your siblings too. TAlk to him and your mom. Good Luck

Answer 8

aaw, sweetie...I went thru something similiar with my real mother. If your father loves you(and I'm sure he does.) He is gonna do what it takes to make sure you guys are taken care of. If you contact CPS. make sure you specifiy that your dad wasn't involved and was not aware of what was going on. when my sister and I contacted CPS they helped us make sure my dad was not held liable. only my mother was charged.

Answer 9

hi,i think you should talk to your dad first before you say any thing to any body

Answer 10

GO TO THE COPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALL YUR COUNSELORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALL YUR REAL MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUR NOT SAFE IN THAT HOUSE YUR LIVING IN RITE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YUR IN A BEATING CALL 911 N GET THEM HOME IMMEIDATY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!