Ok, so I thought my co-worker liked me due to his behavior and that fact that he keep saying relationship...blah blah but then he sent me this email after i asked him what he thought of me..
"I received your email and i feel the same, however i think you are confused. I do not view you as one of my co-workers, i view you as my best friend for now. The problem is me the only reason why i do not have a retionship because i do not want them and the reason for that is because i've been damaged by the pig who cheated on me and dumped me like i'm some sort of a toy. I appreciate you more and more however i do not have the gurrantee that you will not do the same at the same time i'm very scared cause i do not wanna loose you. I'M not ready yet for another relationship because " My hearts' at low i'm so much to manage and i think you should know that i've been damaged" i enjoy being aroud you and i really do value our friendship. I admire you and your style that you wear to work.
2006-07-24 14:26:24 · 21 answers · asked by Trina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not only do I feel like an idiot and I am not sure what I should do...but he also told me on the phone the other day he cannot imagine his life without me...
2006-07-24 14:27:09 · update #1
hey i can tell that you both like each other and u shouldnt feel stupid coz he isnt ready for any thing with any one. just take it slow and he will need some time to realise you arnt going any where just take things slow he needs time to heal from past pain and your support. see how he says "best friend for now" he can see something in the future so just take the time to let him move on in his own time ok.
2006-07-24 14:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The answer to you question is simple. You are doing nothing wrong. But he is afraid of all women at the present time. He has been hurt. You should show him that you understand that his heart needs time to heel. If the conversation leads to the question "How will you treat me?" Gently and subtly reassure him that you are not going to emotionally abuse him. Always remember to be a true friend. Encourage him to talk to you about any thing he feels he should. Be near by but not attached. Let your actions say "I have a life but I am always here for you". Focus on learning more about him and his past. Build a friendship first. This will give him the adequate time to heel, a chance to get to know you and a person which he can confide in.
Be his safe haven sweetie!
2006-07-24 21:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hon, i say give the guy a break, he's been hurt and he obviously values your friendship (he said as much) and he's honest with you, what more do you want don't pressure him let him know you are there and be honest with how you feel, and always be a friend. but i think on the relationship (boyfriend girlfriend) deal you should start to look elsewhere. don't just jump into any thing with anyone though, take your time get to know the person and take it from there. don't try to make your friend jealous either that usually doesn't workout and then where will you be. anyhow all the best.
2006-07-24 21:36:27 · answer #3 · answered by diva anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard versions of this, and Lived One of them. Tell him you'll be glad to be his Friend, but life doesn't COME with a guaranty, and if he's just waiting to see if You'll dump him too... then you'll be glad to end it NOW, and save both of you the heartache of becoming involved. I don't see any sincerity in his note. I DO see evidence of him laying groundwork to put the blame for your whole "relationship" going into nose dive (after he's slept with you, or borrowed $$$, or whatever..) onto YOUR shoulders by claiming NOW that he's damaged, so that later, when you ask What went wrong, or Why he's not calling, He can say that YOU KNEW he was this way, because he TOLD you before you got involved........(so it would all be on you)... I say be friends, but if your wanting more, find some one who knows what "get over it already" MEANS....
2006-07-24 21:40:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so he's all insecure and he wants more reassurance before he gets back in the game. if you like the guy this is a great chance to let your friendship deepen with a good possibility that it could turn into something more. if you were just hoping to hear how much he likes you then he's pulled the old switcheroo on you; but turnabout is fair play. so it's up to you; you can be his saviouress who restores his faith in womankind or you can tell him you think he's a needy turkey and watch him crumple as a way of ending whatever it is you two have going on.
2006-07-24 21:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should feel like an idiot. It sounds like either he is confused about how he feels or he needs some time to learn how to trust people again. Wait a little while and see what happens. If he knows how you feel and that is really what's going on than something will probably happen as you get closer.
2006-07-24 21:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by Chris Y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, don't take his statements so literal.
I had a 'best friend' who treated me better than his friends & I saw him treat his own girlfirends. He weekly took me out to dinner & movies & always invited me to events he was attending but he never did this as often for his own girlfriends. He said things to me that seemed like he liked me 'girlfirend-wise' & I started falling for him thinking he was feeling me & I came to find out that he never even looked at me as a girlfriend type, even though his actions seemed much diffrent.
I'm not necessarily saying his words are dishonest w/ you but if he's telling you he's not ready for another relationship then listen to him and leave it at that. Let him decide that he's ready & he will come to you when the time is right or he will miss out to you finding someone who is ready when you are. Good Luck
2006-07-24 21:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by NicNac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he quotes "TLC"...lol...know the song, it's a good one. Sounds like in a way he's got his head on straight...He's telling you, he's not ready. That's the mature thing to tell you. He's being up front. Be there as a friend to him for now, things might change in the future. I do think it's great that you both seem open with each other, so many "couples" can't do that...
2006-07-24 21:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling the truth is not wrong. The results of telling the truth may not be what we had hoped for or they might be great. But it's about being authentic with people and allowing another to be real with you.
2006-07-24 21:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by cathyhewed1946 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww! Love him! I know you do, it's kinda obvious, just be really friendly with him. If you don't like him then be friendly with him anyways so that he feels like he can actually begin to love again. I know how he might be feeling but love comes more than once in a lifetime for sure!
2006-07-24 21:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by lustful_essence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋