How can I convince my daughter she should not want to become pregnant again at a young age?

Question

My daughter got pregnant, by accident, way way too young. And then 2 days ago she miscarried. The miscarriage was either because she was too young to support a pregnancy, or because of her drug use. Either way, I am relieved but I would never tell her that. I feel the miscarriage is a second chance, for her to have the rest of her childhood brefore having to worry about raising a baby. She is devastated by it, and I'm sorry for the way she feels. The worst thing is now she wants to try again. I have made strict rules, that she must never become sexually active again until she finishes high school, which will be a long time from now. But I can't watch her every minute. Better would be if I can reason with her and make her understand why she should not want to have a baby this young.

Answer 1

I wish i had a mom like u. U need to take her to a doctor or a place were she can get on birth control. The best birth control that i found out that works and i mean it works. It is called the depo shot. It may be expensive,but she will not get pageant. U need to find someone for a example to show her it is not easy being a teen mom. I know that it is not easy being a teen mom i was one and i would love to talk to her and explain what i had and have to be mom at a young age.

Answer 2

On any guy she hangs around.....
Tell any guy who hangs around her how she is off limits until she is 18, AND any male who hangs around her will need to have a paturity test done if she becomes pregnant.
The winner gets to be posted on the Sexual Preditor Website as con-of-the-week, and gets to fork over child support for the next 18 years.

For her......get her a test run as a parent...
Take every penny she would normally get and put it into a baby fund. Also find out the rights of grandparents, (yep, his folks will have a say too).
Decorate her room into one of those sterile enviroments that will be necessary fro a baby/toddler.
Get her books on taking care of a home as a housewife.
Give her a crash course on doing housework, like how to separate laundry, how to do dishes, what you clean in the bathroom and how you clean it.
Make her a list of weekly chores.
Limit her entertainment time, and make her quality time with baby be equal to her time with daddy. Make certain she realizes baby is most important, so all money must go to supporting the child.
Get her books from the library of teen moms and what they go through.
MOST OF ALL, QUIT TREATING HER AS IF SHE IS STILL A KID! Maybe you have been babying her too much? Ya think?
TELL HER YOU ARE RELIEVED SHE IS NOT PREGNANT!
If she doesn't want to listen, then you take her down to Parkland Hospital. Ask if someone in the delivery ward can talk with her on their break. Go to the Pediatric section. PROVE TO HER that having a kid when you are only 10 is a sign of immaturity, and they might take the kid away from her to be raised by someone else. Trouble is that some 10+ kids really get the royal treatment when they are pregnant. They don't care about the baby in their bod, but how great it is for 9 months.
If you can't control her, there are mental institutions for kids with big mental and emotional disorders. TAKE HER THERE FOR THERAPY BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

Answer 3

Right now is NOT the time to do this as she's still grieving the loss of her pregnancy but....

If it was my child I would do some research and get together some information then make her COMPLETE a project....

What is the average wages for a drug addicted high school drop out.....What kind of job could she expect to get without at least a high school diploma?

What jobs are available in your area for someone with no skills, no education?

How much does it cost to rent a 2 bedroom apartment in your town?

What is the average cost of utilities for that 2 bedroom apartment? Electricity, Water and Heat?

Hand her the newspaper flyers for the local grocery stores and have her figure out a weekly meal plan and how much groceries would cost then multiply that by FOUR for an average monthly cost.

How much do diapers, baby wipes, formula and other baby necessities cost per month?

How is she going to pay for health insurance for herself and the child?

Based on the average costs of prescriptions how is she going to buy medications for her child when it's sick?

How much does day care cost in your area and how is she going to pay for that?

When she can afford to cover ALL the costs associated with having a child and she's living on her own with a job she can have 10 babies if she likes. Until then she needs to be on some serious birth control and if she can't or won't remember to take the pill every day then take her to a doctor and have them shoot her a$$ full of depo provera until she gets her act together.

Answer 4

If shes not out of shool and has been sexually active and has also used drugs, I think you should take her to see a counselor or therapist. It sounds like she needs some professional help rather than strict rules. Maybe you can sit down with her and ask why she is doing this even though she knows you don't agree with it. Try to just listen to her. She may have some other personal issues she hasn't told you about.

Answer 5

if they have one of those "rent a baby" facilities near your home, then try that. You are right, you cannot watch her every minute. And you cannot ensure that she takes the pill every day. I would talk to a doctor about the depo shot (there are pros and cons - i personally never had any problems with it and I was on it for 3 years). As a parent of a minor, I believe you have the right to make medical decisions for her. If she will not consent to the depo shot, which is once every three months, then maybe the IUD? I am not sure the eligibility requirements for it. .

Answer 6

Have her talk to a teen mom. I was in the same position when i was 16 and guess what, now i'm a teen mom. I think if she talks to someone around her age that already has a child it may change her mind. She may realize the life she is leading is not for her and neither is having a baby. Good luck, i hope you can get things straightened up with her. It's hard to be a mom so young.

Answer 7

Maybe y ou should make her get a job so she wont sit around the house and be wanting sex so much I'd honestly tell her that if she wanted to get pregnant again she has to move out and go be with her boyfriend and they have there own lives otherwise shes going to be like some mangie dog bringing in all kinds of stuff in your house!


its obvious she likes doing drugs haha maybe you can convince her the birthcontrol pills are the new favorite drug out there and shell start taking those instaed

Answer 8

Let your daughter know that because she is so young she could not possibly provide a beneficial future for herself or her baby. She needs to focus on her studies, friends, family, and interests. She is not yet ready to juggle making her future and forming one for her child. Your daughter needs to see that at her age she can not possibly understand the sacrifices that are required to raise a child. My advise is that you take her out to coffee or ice cream... something fun. Then let her know how you feel. Also tell her about the sacrifices you've had to make throughout your life so that you could raise her. Remind her of the dreams she had as a little girl, like wanting to be a ballerina. Perhaps this will show her that she needs to focus on her life now, and then later, after marriage, she and her husband can look forward to children. Good luck, and God bless you and your daughter.

Answer 9

I think it would help to stress to her that you know she feels bad and to recognise her loss. Also, let her know that this is the wrong time, too, to make snap decisions. You can let her know that sometimes nature does what is best and that you feel it might be that she is too young right now. Maturity takes a bit of time. Now is the right time to give her your understanding and support emotionally, however. It would be a devastating loss.

And by all means, stick to your guns about her being sexually reticent. She lives in your house, and your rules apply; mostly for her good.

Answer 10

An accident is when the truck runs into your car. You don't get pregnant by accident. You get pregnant by being sexually active, which your daughter has no business being. And if you know there is drug use involved, and she is dumb enough to use drugs during pregnancy, it's time for you to step up and start being a parent. Obviously you haven't been up to now.