i need some SERIOUS help please i need help?

Question

ok im 15 my brother is 17 and my sister is 11 and about 3 years ago my parents got divorced because my dad was cheating on her. well my mom got full custody and my dad lived about 30 minutes away in apartments and we visited him like every other week. we lived with only our mom for about a year. but then we moved to texas when our dad was in georgia. we all missed him alot. when we moved my mom married my stepdad. it all goes downhill from here. we all never got along with our stepdad and we had ABSOLUTELY nothing in common with him. my mom and brother would always yell and argue because it seemed like my mom was choosing our stepdad over us. so after 6 months my brother moved and lived with my dad. after that me and my stepdad and mom always got into alot of arguements some days it was good and others its REALLY bad. i kinda feel like i cant leave and live with my dad cause i feel i have to stay cause my mom does love me. i love my dad ALOT and this summer we got to stay with him.....

it was the best summer of my life and im really considering livig there but my dad told me i can anytime i want to but he wants e to stay to take care of my mom cause my stepdad is the laziest and doesnt do anthing but work , come home, closes his door and sits on the computer. before we had such an open loving family now we have such a dull gray family. me and my mom starting arguing on the phon over the summer and i asked her to choose my stepdad over me. well she said she cant and that she doesnt want to choose but she has to pick him because even though we dont like him shes the one thats gonna have to live with him after we move out. this really tore me up. no theres this big gap in between me and my mom ever since we got back. i tried talking to her but she doesnt listen and tries to make me mad at my dad for breaking up the family. the only bad thing abot my dad is that he has alot of girlfriends but i know he loves us more than life itself. should i live with my dad or my mom?

Answer 1

if you feel like you would be happier living with you father then do it.
i had to deal with the same exact situation when i was a kid. at 16 i finally went to live with my dad and my life hasnt been too bad. im now 27 got a good job, bought my own home.. things are great..
you will still be able to see your mom and you can talk to her everyday..
you should think about what makes you happy.. that is what matters.

Answer 2

I think it is perfectly natural to want to go to your dad. Your mom has a new husband and of course her attention is now divided. You are old enough to make an effort with the new man, but if you really tried, I think you should go live with your dad.
Try not to feel guilty. This is your life and you need to do what is best for you. Isn't that what your parents did when they split? Did they give you and your wants and needs any consideration? Nope, they just went ahead with the divorce, knowing it would
tear you and your siblings apart. This is their problem not yours.
Keep in mind that living there won't be like vacationing. That's why they call it a vacation. You get away from real life for awhile. If you live there it will be real life with chores and disagreements and everything else that comes with living with a family.

Answer 3

What is the question? Based on what you were saying you should probably go live with your father if you can. Your mother is in a new relationship and she might be struggling with being a parent and giving this new relationship attention. your step dad should not be in the middle of parenting and punishment. when you enter a child's life after the age of 6, (unless they are adopted) that person should not be handing out punishment. Just because you are young doesn't mean you don't have rights's and emotional needs. What it comes down to is resting your head in a safe and loving place. your mother will always love you even if she gets mad. You need to decided if you want stay there for your mom and sister and you need to ask yourself if you can deal with what's going on at home. i wish the best for you and your family

Answer 4

It sounds like your father is providing a better home, but you also have to remember that when you live with someone all the time, you rub each other raw very fast. You might be enjoying this time with your father simply because don't see him as often, and so ever day you get to share with him is very special. That being said, your mother needs to get her priorities straight. There's nothing wrong with her wanting another man in her life, or getting remarried, but if her husband is putting her in a position where she has to chose between her children and him, or if she is letting herself be put in that position, then something is very, very wrong.

It's hard to give advice that hasn't been written before, and expressing my point is not going to be easy, so I'm going to share te secret of my success in life.

I have a simple set of three rules, they decide everything I do, without exception. I'll admit that they have put me in some tricky situations, but it was always the right thing to do.

1. Use your heart to know what is important.
2. Use your conscience to know what is right.
3. Use your mind to decide when the first two don't agree.

I now it sounds kind of sketchy, but it works, and reading your post gives me the impression that you really do know what you need to do, you're just looking for a push.

I know you'll make the right choice.

Answer 5

I am a mom to 2 wonderful children and a step mom to a sweet little boy. My kids (step son included ) are my life. No matter what kind of stuff goes on between me and my husband...my kids come first. I don't think that your mom is right by choosing a mon over her kids. You, your brother and sister should be first in her eyes. Mind you, you are at an age where you WILL argue with your mom and dad, and step-dad too. You are a teenager, and hormones are raging! You said that you are going to your dads for the summer. Take this time to really think about who you want to live with. If you think that living with your dad is a good choice for both of you, then you need to get a lawyer, and explain to him what you want and why. If you need to talk about anything, feel free to e-mail me. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

It does not sound like the adults in your life are looking out for you too well. Which place do you feel you would do best in school and be the most likely to get a good start in life. In a perfect world an adult would help you make this decision but it sounds like you are going to have to do it yourself. You need to pick the place that will give you the best start in life. Once you are out on your own you can see your mom and dad whenever and for however long you want to. But that is dependent on you finishing school and getting a good start. So go for the place that gives you the best shot at that. Good luck man.

Answer 7

It sounds to me like you are trying to make your mother feel guilty because she found someone else to love besides your dad. Your dad is the one who split up the family by cheating on your mom. I have dealt with this for years. My daughter does not want me with anyone other then "her" father and her father is the one who split up our family by abuse and cheating. But for some reason that doesn't matter to you kids, yall think that your mom should have "stuck it out" with your dad or whatever.
I did NOT hear anything like.........he abuses us, or she abuses you, or any other reason that you should hate your step dad and not get along with your mom. And your mom should be taking your step fathers side of things when it is probably issues of you kids misbehaving, or just plan being ugly to the man for the simple fact that he married your mom. That isn't fair to him. Now if the issue was the stepdad was abusing you, or being cruel in some way then your mom should be taking your side in that circumstance. But just in the statements that you made........that isn't the issue. Your mom should not have to choose between her teenage kids and her new husband just because you don't like him as a person. You kids will be grown and gone and starting families of your own in just afew years. Don't you want your mom to have someone to love? Someone who makes her happy? Someone to take care of her after you have left the house? So unless this man is abusive in some way............Leave it alone and let your mom have some happiness.
It sounds to me like your just mad because mom has someone else to love and be with and YOU cant be the man of the house now that she has. You don't want any other man telling you what to do, or what not to do except your dad.
There is also the old............No man is ever gonna be good enough for my mom.........and you are going to give any man a hard time which is not fair to you, him and especially to your mom.
Now if and when your dad finds another woman to love and he gets married, your gonna be the same way towards her.

Let your paren'ts be happy with someone else cause they damn sure arent going to be happy with each other. And like I said........remember it was your DAD who tore your family apart, not your mom, so give her a break would ya.

Get over it and deal with it. Get counseling or whatever you have to do. Your parents marriage is done and over with and they arent getting back together.
Don't try to make everyone else miserable just because things aren't going your way.

Answer 8

When you are 18 move away and better yourself. Always love your mom and brothers and sisters but there is not much else you can do until you turn 18. For right now get a job and save up as much money as you can. So when you turn 18 you and your siblings can move away.

Answer 9

If I were you Id worry more about my little sister than your mom. You can tell your Dad to go back to divorce court and request a rehearing on custody or file new charges, on the gounds of mom subjecting you kids to mental abuse, or petition the court to let each of you to decide who you want to live with good luck

Answer 10

Unfortunately, you have to abide by court orders until you are 18 UNLESS your Mom and Dad will agree to some other arrangements. It sounds like you seriously need to talk with both of them, and see what they can come up with, with YOUR best interest at heart, and not their own.