do you think it is rude to tell your mother you don't love her because she is putting her husband in front me

Question

I THINK THAT MY MOTHER DOES NOT LOVE ME BECAUSE SHES PUTS HER HUSBAND IN FRONT OF ME.

Answer 1

No, If he is your step-dad not at all, She should put you, her flesh & blood before her lover. It would be different if he was your real dad. Tell her how you feel it might change the way she treats you. Hope i helped you.

Answer 2

yes it is rude, but it also depends on how urgent you felt that you need to tell her. However, there is not enough details to give a tailored helpful answer to this question. what is an example of putting him infront of you? If your dad is a stepdad and is abusing you - sexually or even mentally - you have to have a talk with her alone - It doesnt mean you dont love your mother. and you should get help elsewhere at a social service place if there is a communication block. If putting infront of you is some other type of situation like, instead of doing what you like, - she chooses his proposals for leisure ALL the time, etc: is something you could talk directly to your mother. If your mother doesnt pay attention always distracted, then you have to find someone else to talk to and learn to understand your mother, and wait till you are grown up but you still love your mother even though you say you dont - because you dont feel indifferent to her. Indifference is "no love" - not when you are angry at her. Maybe telling her in a rush is an expression - not necessarily bad - would wake your mother up - but yes it is rude.

Answer 3

I'll assume this is a step-dad since you refer to him as "her husband". Listen, a mother loves her children in a way NO child could possibly comprehend until they have children themselves.
Your mother in absolutely no way loves him more than you, but sometimes it takes a little more work in a married relationship. These are two people who "become" family. That takes work whether it's a first or twelfth marriage. You may not know it, and neither of you may be good at showing it, but I guarantee you she would let herself be eaten alive by sharks if she thought it would spare you one second of pain. Talk to your mom. This is very important because if you don't this wound will just keep getting picked at and will never heal. Don't be confrontational. Just tell her how YOU are feeling, not what she's "doing". If you confront her in an angry or hostile way she will get defensive and shut down. Just tell her. Explain exactly how you're feeling. Chances are she had no idea you feel like this.
Just remember, even when parents are screaming, cussing or whatever, they'd still die for you in a heartbeat, and YOU ARE the greatest thing they've ever done!

Answer 4

You didn't say how old you are, and that would make a big difference on what I have to say in my answer. So there for I will answer it with two answers instead of one.

If you are young and still living at home--your mom does need to keep treating you good, do things as a family.When he married your mom, he married a package deal and has to except you as his daughter and treat you as such.

If you are older and not living at home any more--you should still have mother and daughter times together. And have family times as well, nothing should really change expect for the fact that she is married to some one else now. He should except you as his daughter.

If you feel this way about her, why don't you have a mother and daughter talk with her. Let her know how you feel about the way things are. She might not even realize how you feel, I mean she is not a mind reader or anything like that is she? So I don't think that she really knows what you are feeling. I know when I was growing up, I always thought that my parents loved and cared more about my brother than me. I told friends about this but never my parents. Then not long ago when I lost my brother, mom and I had a talk about it and I found out that he felt the same way as I did. She had no clue that I felt that way. So you need to talk to mom about this now!! Get it out in the open and talk to her and let her know how you feel.

You don't need to keep this bottled up inside of you as it is not health for you to do that, I know from my own experience.

Answer 5

I think it's a matter of degrees. You also may be reading more into the situation that is there. Try talking to her calmly and telling her how you feel. If she won't respond, you need to find someone you can talk to that can give you the emotional support that you aren't getting from her.

My mother put her husband in front of us many times. It wasn't until she told me that she wished she'd had an abortion instead of have me that I gave up trying to love her.

Just don't jump the gun and try to talk it out first.

Answer 6

If your mother is crossing the boundary of ignoring or neglecting you for her husband, then I think you should say something to her - politely. You could say, "Mom, it makes me feel betrayed or unloved when you put your husband in front of me. I would like to have a better relationship, but I just feel very hurt when you do this." Hopefully she'll respond well - if not, then she might just be a selfish person...

I don't think it's completely wrong to put your spouse before your kids... you just have to do it in a way that isn't hurtful or neglectful to them (the kids).

Answer 7

It is not a matter of being rude. It is sad that this situation is happening in your life. I do not believe that you truly don't love her, I think it is that you love her a great deal and that she is hurting you. Try talking to a close relative that could talk to her. If the situation cannot be handled, make sure you take care of yourself first.

Answer 8

no its not wrong because a mother should never put her husband before her child, its so wrong, of her too act like that, so i say no its not rude because obvious she doesn't love you.

Answer 9

um yes it's rude to tell your mom that you don't love her. her husband is supposed to come first in her life. in the bible it says that when a man marries a woman that they become one person. God first, spouse second, family third. that's how it works, but it doesn't mean your mom doesn't love you. and you shouldn't ever tell her that you don't love her because i'm sure that it hurts her and doing it out of revenge is just plain cruel.

Answer 10

You have every reason to be upset. She shouldn't put him in front of you. But, you shouldn't tell her you don't love her. I feel that is disrespectful even if that's how you feel.

Hang in there!