2006-07-24 12:59:31 · 15 answers · asked by armytao2k3 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It is not going to happen overnight and it's done by baby steps.
Most imporant: Do NOT use drugs, alcohol or other destructive compulsive behavior to deal with this. You will only make things a lot worse and I know that from first hand experience.
Ask yourself what holding onto this pain and anger does for you. Is this pain and anger aimed at a person or people? Ask yourself if this person is worth your distress. Hanging onto grudges and anger is like swallowing poison hoping the other person will die. Keep reminding yourself that as long as you're angry with this person with such intensity, that person remains in control of you. Try to at least get it down to an indifference as in "Yeah, you're a piece of crap and you're not worth getting me upset over."
A good skill to acquire is "thought stopping." If you have a negative thought squirming through your brain, you have to have the self discipline to tell yourself to stop that and come up with something positive. This can be either thinking of a good memory or drawing out steps to solve the problem or situation that is causing you pain.
None of these will click and happen for you overnight. You didn't acquire all this anger and pain overnight, so you shouldn't be expected to be a pro at the skills I've mentioned overnight. Like learning to play the piano or play soccer, you have to practice these things on a regular basis and day by day you'll be stronger with it.
Good luck and much healing to you!
2006-07-24 15:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by einelorelei 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put it behind you by replacing it with something or someone who brings you peace and happiness. Holding on to it will not change or resolve what ever created it. Doing something about it in a negative manner will only make it worse. Find a trusting friend who will listen and allow you to get it all out. Express what you feel and then understand what you feel. The trick is to take control of it before it takes control of you.
Forget payback. Seeing you happy is all the payback a miserable person will need...if that's the case. You win...they lose.
2006-07-24 20:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find an outlet. For some people its writing or drawing, running or other excercise. Writing to the person you are angry at and if you dont want to or cant send it, burn it. Write down all your angry thoughts and words and when you're done, rip it to shreds. Tearing paper is very therapeutic. Hell, i ripp up phone books! Try to find a way to express you feelings to someone you trust, sometimes just sharing what you're feeling can take a huge load off of you.
good luck to you, feel free to add me if you'd like to talk sometime, cuz i struggle with similar issues and maybe talking to a stranger will help too.
2006-07-24 20:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by Fade__Out 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I feel that my anger is getting uncontrollable, I foound a way to get rid of it, First you need a backyard, a ladder and a tree. Take a piece of rope and tie it to a sturdy limb. Get an empty clorox jug or milk jug and fill it with water, Tie it to the other end of the rope. Whenever you feel the urge to hit something hit that. It helps me with my anger issues.
2006-07-24 20:06:27 · answer #4 · answered by sabre6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....Is there an absolute way?I guess you could see a psychologist.If your wanting to do it on your own,I think you will just really need to break down why your angry.Writing the reasons down helps it to kinda POP out at you.Say for instance you we're cheated on.That's one thing,but break it down....you feel this way or that because...The pain gets better in time,but it's never really forgotten.Try to learn a lesson from your situation.Good Luck!â¥
2006-07-24 20:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by bamahotT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just release all the things that you stress over and meditate about the things that are most pleasing. Carrying luggage is not healthy. Or just think about that girl you banged!!
2006-07-24 20:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by The King 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to see the positve in things and let go of things you cant control
the idea is practice being calm
then think b4 speaking b4 reacting
2006-07-24 22:00:11 · answer #7 · answered by Aaron J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I do is get away from everyone. Go take a walk and clear your head. Or just do something that relaxes you.
2006-07-24 20:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Goodwill.
2006-07-24 20:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wanet to know that also so now i am playing tennis and i feal great all the anger goes out:)
2006-07-24 20:13:58 · answer #10 · answered by ilija_91 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋