2006-07-24 12:42:27 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is better than any joke. Oh, what's that James? You said to tell her that she is beautiful and you love her. Honey, James Blunt says you are beautiful and he loves you. Now, watch this. Pee first, you may otherwise have an accident.
You're now free to find your true love or better yet, have him find you!!
Peace and love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTr-ekKINTE&search=family%20guy%20peanut%20butter%20jelly%20time
2006-07-24 12:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sleek 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should start out dead, get it out of the way.
You wake up in an old age home, feeling better
every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, go
collect your
pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold
watch
on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to
enjoy your
retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally
promiscuous and
you get ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you
play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you
spend your last 9
months floating peacefully with luxuries like
central heating,
spa,
room service on tap, larger quarters everyday,
and then you finish off as an orgasm
It's got to be better this way cause this getting
old sucks!
I Hope this Helps LOL
2006-07-24 19:51:13 · answer #2 · answered by Pattiiewack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a guy's driving along in his car, and suddenly the car starts to shake really bad, and BOOM! The right rear tire falls off. He stops the car, bumper's dragging on the ground, and he's stuck.
He opens the trunk, pulls out the spare tire, but the bolts are gone to hold the wheel on. He's gettin' mad, doesn't know what to do, when suddenly a voice sounds behind him: "Hey! What's wrong?" The guy turns around, and there's another guy standing on the other side of a tall chain-link fence. "My car just lost a wheel, the bolts fell out, now I'm stuck here! What are you doing in that place?" The other guy answers, "this is a mental home, they say I'm crazy" The driver answers, "well, if you're nuts, what makes you think you can help me?" The man behind the fence laughs and says "why don't you take one bolt out of each of the other tires, and put that one on your car so you can get to a gas station?" The driver is amazed. "That's brilliant! You shouldn't be in there! Thanks!" The other man answers, "Well, I'd rather be crazy than STUPID!" LOL
2006-07-24 19:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first i would just like to say that LATINGOD is a real jerk,you are asking for jokes not trying to start a chat.but i guess it would look that way to a retard. sorry i can't fix that.but stop me if you heard this one.a lady comes into a vets office with her pet duck.the duck was run over by a car and showed no signs of life. the vet took a look at the duck and very apologetically said to the lady," i'm sorry, but your duck is dead".the lady could hardly hold back the tears.then she demanded a second opinion.to which the vet left the room only to return with a black lab.the dog stood up at the exam table and sniffed the duck then looked at the vet and shook his head .the vet took the dog away and came back with a cat.the cat jumped on the table and looked the duck up & down only to turn to the vet and shake it's head as well.the vet removed the cat and sat down at his computer and printed up the bill.he handed it to the lady,who almost fainted.$150.00 she yelled "for what".to which the vet said,the bill would have only been 20 dollars but since she didn't believe him.he would now have to charge her for a lab report and a cat scan.hope you haven't heard it yet.hope this makes you laugh.i got more.good luck.
2006-07-24 20:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by spocklogical1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that! keep ur head up! hope this one makes u laugh a little, its my fav:
In the beginning, The Lord God Almighty, sitting on His throne on high, turned to His mate, the Archangel Gabriel and said "Gabby, today I'm going to create Scotland. I will make it a country of dark beautiful mountains, purple glens and rich green forests. I will give it clear swift flowing rivers and I will fill them with salmon. The land shall be lush and fertile, on which the people shall grow barley to brew into an amber nectar that will be much sought after the world over. Underneath the land I shall lay rich seams of coal.
In the waters around the shores there will be an abundance of fish and beneath the sea bed there will be vast deposits of oil and gas".
"Excuse me Sire", interrupted the Archangel Gabriel, "Don't you think you are being a bit too generous to these Scots"?
"Not really", replied the Lord, "wait 'til you see the neighbours I'm giving them".
2006-07-24 19:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by simi1808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing to happen don't worry if you feel bad no problem because all people say the same word only so you not a single one .
Oh my I forget you asking any joke right ok I tel now JOKE
2006-07-24 19:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by kartik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A husband and wife have 6 kids. The husband, being proud of his accomplishments, used to always call his wife, "Mother of six", whenever they were in public. One day they were at a party and the husband calls out, "Are you ready to go home 'Mother of six'?" Tired of the nick-name, she replies, "Any time you're ready 'Father of four'!"
Hope that was helpful in making you smile, even if it is for just a little bit. Best wishes to you, and I pray you feel better soon.
2006-07-24 19:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah, sorry to hear that im not really a joke teller so i have no joke however we can talk. i know how it feels to break up with someone you love but if you guys are really in love, then you should put the pride aside and try to work things out
2006-07-24 19:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by Michael C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a brunette, red head, and a blonde waiting to be prosecuted..
the brunette is brought forward and asked if she has any last requests and she says no.. the prosecutor says ready aim, and the brunette shouts tornadoe, everyone turns to look and she escapes... next is the red head she's asked if she has any last requests and she says no.. the prosecutor says ready aim, and the red head shouts earthquake, well she to escapes.... now it's the blondes turn and by now she has figured out what to do... the prosecutor asks if she has any last requests and she says no, the prosecutor says ready aim.... the blonde shouts FIRE!!!!!
HERE'S A WEB SITE FOR JOKES dumb blonde jokes.com
2006-07-24 20:03:42 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OVER THEM why do we constantly alow men to disifer our moods? f^ckem! and chuckem they dont care about it get on with it just face the fact that no man will ever equal up to what we actually need and the more we try to make them the mor3e they hurt us so stop worying there just in it for some wall it lasts beat them to the punch and get over him
2006-07-24 19:47:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This wife wakes up her hubby and says to him: "can't sleep, I've had a bad dream, I was climbing this high mountain then I started falling and grabbed the nearest rope to me and held on to it". Her husband said: "go to sleep, hun. It's just a bad dream". After a while she sees that her husband is fidgeting in bed, she asks him: "what's the matter darling? can't sleep?" and he replies: " I can sleep only when you let go of the rope !!!".
2006-07-24 19:50:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋