what is the best way to deal with teens ?

Answer 1

Send them to Michael Jackson's house for a couple of days and I bet they'll be glad to be home and mind you!!!

Answer 2

I have been working with teens for the past 8 years in Group Homes, one-on-one teaching social skills, and the past five years in Juvenile Hall. The two most important things in working with teens is 1. Your behavior and role-modeling. You are being watched and judged. If you are responsible and follow the law your teens will hold that a lot higher than if you cut corners in your own life. 2. Quality Time. Really spending time and getting to know your teen, teens can smell a fake, be real, but still appropriate in you answering questions and relating stories that may help a teen through a particular problem. By the time kids turn into teenagers, using control over influence will back fire on you. The good or bad news is your teens sucess or failure is set up long before the teen years arrive. Reaching you child is the key to impacting your teen. Teenagers are almost required to make some mistakes to learn from. Allowing teenages to learn small life lessons is far more productive than trying to manage the smallest details in thier lives. By allowing them to fail or make mistakes in small areas they are far more likely to understand the consequences of the bigger mistakes they may have been heading for. Setting up some guide lines and home rules is neccesary, but use them with good common sense. Dont set the rules to hard or to easy. Teens might fight the rules 100%, but need them to feel safe and secure, they want mom and dad to have a plan and care about them enough to do these things. I could go on and on but also recommend some books such as "The Strong willed Child" and "Dare to discipline." Yeah, Yeah, I know these are Christian books, but in my experience James Dobson knows what he is talking about. Well theres my two cents.---Wheels
P.S. I am 29 years old and was a horrible teen, life lessons and consequences will help your out of control teen. Your hard work and time with your child will pay off. Hang in their parents it does not last forever!

Answer 3

This is too broad a question to really give a good answer to.

Some generalities:
1. Talk to them with respect and make it clear you expect the same. Do not respond to disrespect (at least..do not reward it).
2. Define firm and clear limits and expectations. PUtting them in writing really helps. Define what rewards (say allowance, car, cell phone, etc.) they get for sticking to the rules.
3. Deny privileges to kids that don't tend to established rules and limits. EVERYTHING - after school activities, jobs, car keys, phones, tv, computers, ipods, video games, etc. is a privilege you can REMOVE if need be.
4. Kids need to be regular contributors to the household. It builds a sense of value and responsibility.
5. It is your job to make sure they will be prepared to live on their own as adults. This means teaching priorities, teaching how to manage money, do their own laundry, cleaning, wake themselves in the morning, etc.
6. A child that isn't keeping up with their responsibilities needs fewer privileges.
7. A child that is not in school and doing their best does not deserve a social life.
8. A child over 16 that is not in school, should be working full time or not living at home.
9. If you keep giving things and money to a child that doesn't meet their responsibilities the only thing you are teaching is how to be a lazy freeloader.

Too many parents, give and give and give and are failing big time to prepare their kids for life.

A few of the things I've done with my teens (the oldest is in college now):
1. Driving privilege is earned by good grades and proper class attendance (cutting class cost my oldest the car for a month!).
2. Work is an extra they can do if it doesn't interfere with schoolwork.
3. They've all done some volunteer work.
4. I taught them to balance a checkbook, create a budget and in depth about credit and how to avoid it.
5. From about 12 on, they got $200 twice a year to spend on clothes. I always covered sneakers, winter jacket, 1 swimsuit, 1 pair of thongs, and basic undewear separately. It's amazing how well the girls learned to make that money stretch when that was it for their fall and spring wardrobes. (no arguing over brand names here)
6. They do their own laundry from 10 on, and each cook once a week (except the oldest who is living in her own apt and attending college).

Answer 4

At the controlling end of a whip and a chair. Seriously, with a lot of patience, and sometimes with needed therapy. Keep the little darlings busy and don't let them cop an attitude of "I'm bored." In my day ( ha ha) we never even conceived of being bored. However, I realize that times have changed alot. Keep a close eye on their Internet involvement., because as they say "the devil makes work for idle hands." You and the teens will probably survive just as we did, but in the meantime all you can do is to grin and bear it.

Answer 5

Understanding comes first.

Remember, we were all teens at one time in our lives, and it wasn't easy either.

These days, circumstances have changed though. Teens are much more agressive in their interests and insist that they get everything that they deserve too. That is only human nature. We seem to have lots of more choices these days too, so that adds to the complexity of it.

Best way to deal with teens is to Set the ground rules first. Make sure they are in the room when you do, and make sure that they understand what each and every rule of the house is.

Reward them when they follow the rules of the house. Let them make a choice for themselves and follow through on their own choices, while you watch them every step of the way.

Teens want to be free of demands. They want freedom to make their own choices, but they don't want to take responsibility for the bad choices that they make. They must be made aware of what it takes to make a choice and to live with the consequences they make. Ground rules will help in this way too.

Answer 6

somehow me and my parents got through the teen years and i can count all the arguments we had on one hand. i respected them, and they respected me. i trusted them, and they trusted me. we had boundaries and i stuck to them, otherwise i lost that trust and respect, without which i would have been treated like a child and deservedly so.

in a for instance, it would start by saying you have to be home for whatever time (depending on age), if they stick to this consistently then increase it but as soon as they don't then decrease it. right up until i was 18, even if i was out at the weekend and it was a special occasion, i had to be home at 1.30. despite the fact that my friends could stay out later, i was always there on time!
i always felt like i could talk with my parents about anything, a lot of it was everyday talk but we used to sit down most nights and eat together. the 'what have you done today?' conversations did mature but the main point was that we all knew how to talk and listen.
good luck, everyone gets through it somehow!

Answer 7

Tell the parents f their friends what they have done wrong, Got F on report cards. Smart mouth to you.Don't take any Cr@! from them. You are the adult not the other way around! Try public humiliation! Make them responsible for their own actions. Also caning works well. Ha Ha

Answer 8

Dont try to lecture or come down on them too hard but let them be aware that you are the parent. If you try to lecture a teen they may not want to listen or let it go through one ear and out the other. Try to relate things to their age and generation because remember, you grew up during different times. Be understanding, accepting, open-minded, but dont be a dictator teens hate that. ;-)

Answer 9

A Frianchi Spas

Answer 10

Tell them they're not pulling the wool over your eyes about anything. You used to be a teenager and already know every lie they will tell cause you already told the same lies to your parents. When they least expect it, they can expect you to pop up and surprise the **** outta them and they better hope they aren't doing something they shouldn't be doing because they will find out a thing or 2 about you that they never knew before.

Answer 11

Always try to keep some what of an upper hand but talk and treat them like people..Years back a 15 year old was just that... Today most 15 year olds are going on 20..Glad all mine are grown.. Your friend in Tennessee...ROB