title:BABY!
The moment I saw your face,
I had to brace,
cause you are so handsome,
I knew you would never be with me so I let go of you,
the next day I was blue
because of you!
2006-07-24 12:27:16 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i no it is not very good but me and my bf broke up today so i had to write something.
2006-07-24 12:27:56 · update #1
Your poem is okay because it rhymes
But that is all
You might want to try more lines
get deeper, stand tall
don't be afraid to let it all out
tell us what your thinking about
how you feel,what you see
thaen maybe a 10 it will be
But alas it's only a 1
I'm sorry, not trying to poke fun
there really isn't much there
let alone to be blue
I know you probably did care
But if that's all you knew
I really don't know what you should do
it doesn't take alot to make you sad
Maybe I should stop before you get mad
But seriously,there's more to that story
What i got only bores me
"he's cute" okay?
You can't have him,why I say
finish it please
then send it to me
2006-07-24 12:38:22 · answer #1 · answered by Goat T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
5
2006-07-24 12:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
5
2006-07-24 12:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by caramel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4
2006-07-24 12:29:49 · answer #4 · answered by bamum09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4
2006-07-24 12:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9
2006-07-24 12:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by tampabayfriends 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, a lot of people ask for critiques of poetry. It seems like it's always some long, drawn-out, overdone attempt to be dark and powerful. While your poem is not going to win any awards, it's simple, realistic, and easily related to. I'm gonna slap a 6 on it and call it a day. Peace out...
2006-07-24 12:35:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll start off with a 10...now I'll take 3 points away because you didn't put much detail into it, another 2 points because it didn't really make sense, and another 2 because it looks more like part of a song.
I therefore give it a 3.
2006-07-24 12:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thrilling? Oh heck yeah! 10 out of 10! Informative? Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... i'm assume to hearken to suggestion given right here????????????? or trust as reality, human beings posting rubbish from a range of of knucklehead internet sites? do not make me chortle. ! yet thrilling as all get out!
2016-10-15 04:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
5
Writing is a life-saver, I'm glad you have it as a resource to help through your pain. Try not to use cliches and you'll do great.
Maybe try writing him a letter to tell him how you feel (but don't send it) - just to get everything out.
2006-07-24 12:34:30 · answer #10 · answered by LisaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋