Question for Parents, what would you let your child do in this situation??

Question

Ok, im 13 and i feel unloved by my own parents, but a year ago i met these people and it feels like they were meant to be my parents, im at there house all the time, and they care a lot about me and they support me and my decisions sometimes more then my real parents. is there anything i can do and is this normal, and can it be possible that i just got the wrong parents, i really feel much more comfortable with them and ive triend talking to my parents.

If you were my parents what would you let me do if i seriously felt this way, which i do, but what would you do to help?

Answer 1

The truth is that kids can't chose their parents, and parents can't chose their kids -- the fact that kids and parents get along at all seems like a miracle to me. Like any successful long-term relationship you'll have in life, you have to work at it. Maybe your parents and you don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things... but maybe you can sit down with your parents, try to fix what you can, and on the rest you can all just "agree to disagree." Everyone has relationships outside of their parents, we have FRIENDS in order to supplement all of the emotional needs that our parents don't meet (they're not super-humans after all). That you have found such a rewarding friendship with another older couple maybe just goes to show your own level of maturity. Also, it could be a case of the grass being greener on the other side (i.e. maybe you're just frustrated with your parents right now because they are the ones setting rules and restrictions on you, and you like this other couple better because they don't have that power over you). But please don't give up on your parents, at least make sure they know how you feel and why. Remember to have a non-threatening conversation -- without judgement, prejudice, blame, etc.

Answer 2

I think all the advice you have gotten is good. I had something like that happen to me when I was just a little older than you. My best friend lived around the corner and I spent a lot of time there. I can't say I felt my parents didn't love me, but that they had so many of their own problems they didn't have time for any of mine. My father was an alcoholic and my mother had so many problems with my dad and my brothers that I just kind of disappeared. My friend's parents were very supportive, took me places with their family, and encouraged me when I desperately needed some place to escape to. It would have hurt my mother so much if I had told her that I wanted to go live with them.

How do your parents feel about the amount of time you spend there? If yo want to see how they feel, try bringing it up as a joke. Such as: " I spend so much time at _________'s house that I might as well move in." I bet you get a surprise from your parents. I think they will let you know that that will never happen.

I think this feeling and desire to spend more time with these new friends is normal. I suggest you look at them as your "2nd" parents. That is what I called my friend's parents. You can still be close to these second parent's and stay with your real parents. There are a lot of advantages having more people who love you. I think you should try to keep both.

Answer 3

I'm assuming you have or are going to, ask your parents if you can move in with the other people. Don't do it. They will never let you and may even cut off your contact with the other people if they know you feel this way. If you have talked to your parents and they don't listen, then try again or just be happy that you are getting to spend alot of time with the other people. Parents aren't perfect and almost everyone at some time or another has wished they had different parents. It's a case of, the grass looks greener on the other side, but it isn't always that way really. The other people may seem perfect to you but if you were to move in with them, it may change. As long as your parent's don't abuse you, you should just enjoy the time you spend with the other people and know that kids often don't like or understand their parents when they are young, and some parents don't realize they are not doing a good job, but not much can change it if there is no abuse or neglect and talking hasn't helped. Asking to move in with someone else will only cause them to try and cut off your contact with the other family and you lose the thing you feel good about .

Answer 4

When you are a teenager almost everyone seems better then your own parents. I am sure your parents love you. Remember they are the ones who have to discipline you and such these other people are not responsible for how you turn out as an adult if you screw up it isn't on them.
My mom is not motherly at all. She asks if she can hug me, spells my last name wrong (and it is a very easy common name), forgets my birthday, I played 3 sports all thru HS and she came to maybe 3 games, you get the idea.... so trust me when I say I wanted all my friends moms to be my mom. I still wish I had a normal mom but I know my mom loves me in her odd little way. I have kids of my own now and I think it has to be near impossible to have a child and not want the very best for them. Your ideas of how to show this love are probably just different. Enjoy the love and support that these other people give you but your parents are your parents they love you, think how you would feel if your future kids didn't want you.
Oh and my dad...I was so horrible to him when I was a teenager- for pretty much no reason. Then, at about age 20 we got really close again and when I was 24 a drunk driver hit and killed him. So love your parents while you still have them.

Answer 5

Certain issues or conflicts do exist between children and their parents. It happens to everyone!...In your case, what makes you think that your parents don't care anymore? Or they care less about you?...At times, especially if you're a teen, it's really kind of hard to express how and what you feel- even to your own folks. But it's definitely normal at times. You are a teenager now and this 'feeling' towards your parents might only be temporary. Hold on girl, and remember that your real parents can never be replaced.

But of course, there are exceptions to what I had just said. At times, other people act like they are your family, and their 'too good to be true' actions and feelings towards you , can really carry you away. Well, you can savour this at the moment but of course, they are still other people not related to you. You can take on their advice but if you suddenly feel that they are trying to 'invade' your own personal life and then, (hopefully not), turn against your own parents too, then there is something wrong here. You are in a position wherein you are most vulnerable emotionally and anyone who can give you the love and attention become your dearest friend. For these 'good' folks who care about you, well good, but still keep yourself alert. I really don't know what their motives are- unless, they are really genuine people who care about others apart from themselves.

Girl, I know that your parents love you very much. Just hold on and maybe yet, talk to your own parents about how you feel. It would be helpful if you let them know how you are feeling now before it gets any worse.

Answer 6

It's really hard to provide you advice without knowing your parents side of the story; but I am truly sorry that you feel unloved by them. Do your parents provide you with a stable home, clothes, food, a good education? Do they work hard each day to give you a decent life? There are so many reasons why some parents don't show their children a lot of affection. It might be because of the way they were raised. It might be because they're under tremendous financial stress. Many things that you might not be aware of. And, of course, the other parents probably seem way more cool because they don't have the responsibility of raising you. So, I guess you should enjoy this new friendship you have, but don't forget your parents and all that they do for you. We aren't all perfect.

Answer 7

Not everyone is good at being a parent. There is no instruction manual or test to take to find out if you're doing a good job. My parents got married way too young and were not ready. They were way too busy with their own lives to be any good at raising kids. This is not a criticism, but a statement of fact. Not sure if you need to do anything, but just be happy with the fact that there are people out there who will help you, and care about the things you do. I bet there are a bunch of people who got the "wrong" parents. I'm pretty sure I did.

Answer 8

well if u were my child in the first place u would not be unloved, but if u do feel that way u really need to sit your parents down and talk to them, if u're parents dont care about u at all maybe just maybe u could have the other "parents" adopt u, i dont know how flexible your parents are to this idea, but u could also just spend as much time as possible there. sorry for the problem. well good luck

Answer 9

i like to think of I enable my infants to be loose. they are 9-6-3-a million. We do plenty jointly as a kinfolk. I do choose them to host activities extremely than bypass yet I do enable that as properly. I only make specific to speak with the different adults in touch. If my point of convenience isn't there I the two stay and help or they do no longer bypass. infants are very helpful and harmless. they are rather taken benefit of.Having been molested on 4 distinctive events i'm rather careful with my ladies and son. while you're only in touch that helps.the international is a depressing place if i can shop a mild shining then that's what i would be doing. so a methods as being depressed a million refer to somebody it is going to help, 2 do some thing to therapy the placement ie choose for a cruise via the lake and only carry out. placed your self in a public place and only refer to human beings. you'll want a hectic schedule very straight away.

Answer 10

Everyone has issues with their parents when they're growing up (and usually afterwards, too!), but you can't just get new parents. I'm sure they won't let you just go and live with these other people (whoever they are), but if you sit down with your parents and explain how you feel, it might make a big difference in the way they relate to you.