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He just got sentenced to 17 yrs in prison. She and her dad are very close considering the fact he can only see her when she is with me for the same reasons he is going to jail for. She is a very emotional child who understands things beyond her years. I feel like he should lose the privilage to see her but after this week he will be taken to prison and i wont be able to take her there since its so far. She really wants to see her daddy and she cries everytime i read her a letter or whenever they speak on the phone. Its tearing me apart and i dont know how to handle the situation.

2006-07-24 11:37:50 · 14 answers · asked by mandy01 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

no nothing sexual, posession of illegal substances.

2006-07-24 12:01:01 · update #1

14 answers

That's tough. I mean on one hand prison is not how you want your child to see her father but if he is going to be there for a long time it's either that or basically she doesn't have a father. I would suggest some sort of counseling for her. Take her to someone that she can talk to about this. It's going to be tough on her. Perhaps you should sit in on sessions and discuss your feelings as well. I wouldn't throw the idea right out the window because that's still her dad and that will never change but I do think it would be tough for such a young child to see her dad in a place like that.

2006-07-24 11:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by ktpb 4 · 2 0

Sit here down and talk to her. tell her daddy has done something bad. And he has to get a punishment.Just like she has to go in time out or something. Tell her daddy is sorry for what he did. By the way what did he do. Oh and tell your daughter Daddy will be out as soon as he can and maybe earlier than expected if he has good behavior. I have heard of people getting let out of jail as early as 1 year before the regular sentence for good behavior......but i mean REALLY good behavior.

2006-07-24 11:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think if he's going to jail and the reason being is because he saw her without you it may not be such a good idea to bring her there...at least not at this age. Yes, let her talk to him on the phone, and let her send photos but I think prison is not a good environment to bring your 5 yr. old daughter.

You should think about getting her into counselling so she doesn't start feeling as though it's her fault why her dad is in prison. Be strong for her.

2006-07-24 11:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by makeitclap23 3 · 0 0

If she understands what jail is and why daddy's in jail I think you should take her to go see him. Since she already know's who daddy is, she needs a daddy in her life. The only requirement I would have would be that whenever she visits daddy they are in a private room where the other prisoners don't see her.

2006-07-24 11:43:17 · answer #4 · answered by christigmc 5 · 0 0

i'm concerned about your statement, "he can only see her when she's with me for the same reasons he's going to prison."

IS HE GOING TO PRISON FOR SEXUAL MISCONDUCT CHARGES?

call a child psychiatrist TOMORROW. get the child an appointment with a trained professional as soon as possible. YOU'RE GOING to need the help of someone trained for YEARS. yes, i would allow the child to see him SUPERVISED by you once or twice before he starts his sentance. THEN encourage her to write letters... and mail them to prison...

the child needs to understand the social consequences of telling her peers that her father is in prison... i would hate to see his mistake effect her friendships (other parents not allowing their children to play with her because of her father's actions!)

i feel so bad for your child... this is going to be so hard for her. please do take her to a psychiatrist... not just a psychologist. please get her some help... best of luck to you!

2006-07-24 11:46:38 · answer #5 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0 0

only if you are able to prepare her for the fact that she
will be seing him in jail, you will need to be there for her
no matter what happens, but it might be less traumatic in
the future if you can let her see him while she can. either
way you have a long row to hoe. good luck.

2006-07-24 11:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well thats tough.. but I think its better for her to know the truth than to grow up not knowing about it... you just have to explain things in a careful way and be there for her when she cries about it

2006-07-24 11:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by DeAd DiScO 4 · 0 0

I understand your capture 22 difficulty yet there are a range of of aspects right here. A courtroom docket truly is not any position for a toddler in any difficulty except the decide calls for them to be there. Even then, maximum judges opt for to fulfill with the youngster contained in the decide's chambers with the legal professionals rather of contained in the actual courtroom docket. Courtrooms are very stressful places for adults, and ought to correctly be even worse for a toddler. Many courthouses wont even enable her to enter the room. maximum have guidelines that ban toddlers from being contained in the room and could both allow you to recognize to have someone %. her up or will make her sit outdoors the courtroom docket. you should judge what this can do on your daughter. although if the courthouse will enable her into the room, do you truly choose her there? this can be an extremely emotional and probable anxious adventure for her to make certain her father for the first time. It makes him extra genuine and he or she ought to or may no longer be able to address this. this can open a can of worms, as she ought to push to communicate with him after seeing him. at the same time with his song record i do not imagine she might want to be uncovered to him in any way. although in case you do not plan for her to communicate to him, it is nevertheless seeing him. no longer to prepare he will be escorted in by a safeguard probable in handcuffs. this isn't the proper mild to make certain your father for the first time. in my opinion, i imagine you should attend. clarify on your daughter that seeing him isn't conceivable at present and is not any longer in her proper pastime. you should a minimum of wait till she is round 16 on the earliest yet even then it may't be proper. i imagine you should save her faraway from him till she is eighteen and former sufficient to opt for for herself. solid success. -Brit

2016-10-15 04:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by windy 4 · 0 0

NO Way!!! He is in Jail...not a good role model...not a good enviroment for a child.She will be without him anyway and he is being punished for something bad so he lost his rights ....

2006-07-24 11:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by empresscalls 3 · 0 0

I probally would not know what to do if I were in your shoes. But considering the circumstances, I would let her see him, that way he or she can never be mad at you for keeping them apart.

2006-07-24 11:42:02 · answer #10 · answered by luvinmjc 3 · 0 0

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