My gf just broke up with me because she says she needs space. She says it's not because of me, but because she needs time to be on her own. She is relatively young, 21, and I can see what she means. She wants to hang out with friends and enjoy life without the baggage of a relationship. I truly love this girl and it hurts me to let her go. I can't seem to forget all the good times we had and all that she means to me. I was planning on marrying her eventually, and now I seem to have lost all direction in life. I can't eat or sleep or even think. My friends think that I should get over it already and move on. They think that I'm being a lil' b*tch and that there's plenty of better fishes in the sea, and I should stop wasting my time crying over my ex when I can do much better than her. But right now, I can't see my life without her. Am I being an idiot?
2006-07-24 10:51:57 · 20 answers · asked by wc007 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, ur not being an idiot, but ur friends are right--u need to get over her... is she even crying this much over u?
Theres no point in pining away over someone cus u gain nothing by it... and u should still have direction in ur life--ur life should not be so centered around another person that when u loose them u are lost, especially someone ur not married to, cus there's a greater chance that they might leave...
if ur feeling too depressed get a new hobby or something (u dont necessarily need another girl... that would only complicate things for u... I say wait about 2 or 3 months), dont just sit home and die... also, its probably very annoying for ur friends to watch u do this to urself (which is probably why they call u a lil b**** and stuff... its just annoying to watch someone hurt themself). I knew someone who acted the same way over a girl and I wanted to smack him...
also, u gotta keep urself together so that if u and the girl meet up again ur doing well... u wouldnt want her to see u looking depressed and cranky (from lack of sleep) and overly skinny (from not eating), especially if she's doing better and has another guy or something (i kno thats probably hard to think about now, but its just something u have to consider)
uve sulked long enough, I know its hard, but its time for u to move on... its not good for u to dwell on past issues like that.
2006-07-24 11:07:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The answer is no. This was your first love and it hurts when the other person breaks your heart. It is not your friend's place to say what you are feeling or put you down because you are more sensitive. A broken heart takes time to heal. I think that when your heart is healed you'll look back on your experience and take the things you've learned and eventually fall back in love with someone who is more wonderful than your ex. For the time being surround yourself with caring friends that will support you through the time ahead.
2006-07-24 18:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by Erin E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're grieving a loss. The relationship was very important to you and you're grieving the death of it. Your friends sound fairly immature to be honest... so you just ignore them and take your time getting over her.
Bottom line here is that if you jump back into fun and games and dating others etc when you're not really over her, you're not doing any favors for the next girl you would date. Take your time. Mourn the loss. You'll know when you're ready to move on and you will. It takes time to get over the demise of a relationship and your friends need to adjust to the realities of being mature.
It sounds like you were invested in the relationship. Perhaps they've never experienced that so they wouldn't know. Best to you. Tell your friends that you know there are plenty of other fishes or whatever... but no need to start reeling them in until you're hungry and right now, you're just trying to digest from your last fishing trip.
What a bunch of punks. My best to you.
2006-07-24 18:00:16 · answer #3 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry man. I know exactly how you feel. But yes, you are being a wussy man about this. The good thing is you already realized this. You need to read this: http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/can-i-get-my-girlfriend-back.htm and stop being a wussy man. Just because you guys are ex's now does not mean that you can never date again someday. Who knows she might be the one, but don't live your life based on that! That's unhealthy. Just go out and have fun with friends, meet new people, find fun hobbies, and you'll be fine. (Plus, once you do grow you'll be more appealing to your ex!) Good luck man, and have fun with all the new ladies that will be taking up your time!
2006-07-24 17:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jon J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, it just happened, so give yourself some time. It's going to be hard to adjust to this change, but if you truly love her, you must set her free. Or hold her hostage for years as your girlfriend and make her love you by gunpoint. I'm kidding about the second one incidentally (please oh please don't do that!). You don't say your age, but I'm guessing you're still young too, and you've got a lot of life to live. If this relationship is meant to be, it will be later on. But sitting around on your butt is not going to get you any closer to solving that mystery. Spend some time with your friends and involve yourself in activities you enjoy. As time passes, the pain of the breakup will ease and you'll be able to see your path in life more clearly, I promise. I've been there. Good luck!
2006-07-24 17:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NOT AN IDIOT YOU CAN HAVE YOUR TIME TO CRY BUT DONT DO IT IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS ...HOW LONG HAVE YALL BEEN TOGETHER IF NOT THAT LONG YOU CAN AND WILL GET OVER IT CAUSE HOPEFULLY YOU DIDNT GET THAT WRAPPED UP INTO THAT THANG.... ANYWAY I HAD A BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT IN HIGH SCHOOL 10 YEARS AGO AND AT FIRST I THOUGHT I LOVED HIM WELL I STILL DO LOVE HIM BUT I ENDED UP BREAKING IT OFF AND I REALLY DONT KNOW WHY I WAS SO STUPID FOR DOING THAT AND WHEN I TRYED TO GO BACK WITH HIM HE SAID NO SO MAYBE SHE IS JUST GOING THROUGH SOME THANGS RIGHT NOW AND SO LET HER HAVE HER WAY ABOUT THINGS AND WHEN SHE COMES RUNNING BACK TELL HER NO
2006-07-24 17:58:57 · answer #6 · answered by libby71763 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being an idiot. You have feelings, and you have lost someone that meant a great deal to you. It will take time to move on, but you must. It would be sad for you to hang on to the past and not be able to move forward. Give yourself time to grief, that is okay. BUT don't make it your obsession. Rather than feel you lost something, be thankful for the time you did share. Good Luck to you.
2006-07-24 17:55:51 · answer #7 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not an idiot. You're broken hearted. Just try to step back, give her her space and maybe she'll come around. She might not, you know, so try to look at it like it won't kill you. If your friends are saying that kind of sh*t to you then they're not being good friends. You'll get over it in your own time.
2006-07-24 17:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by jozlyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think you're being an idiot for acknowledging your feelings? I think it's great that you're emotionally honest with yourself. Your friends need to be a little more sympathetic. They really don't have any right to judge. Sure, you're in pain, but time is a great healer. Right now it doesn't seem that way, but you will move on when you're ready.
2006-07-24 17:57:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being an idiot. Sounds pretty normal to me. Your "friends" are pretty dam insensitive and not being very friendly. Take your time and grieve. And find some new friends who'll let you do what you need to do. Seriously, group therapy can be of great help.
2006-07-24 17:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋