Should I call her?

Question

My girlfriend and I are in a huge fight. She's upset at me for something I said, but I don't think that it should have been that big of a deal. And I'm pissed off because she over reacts to times I mess up. We've never gone an entire day without talking. I've already apologized for what I said. Will it just make it worse if I don't call her, or should I give her some time?

Answer 1

Call her.

Answer 2

I would wait a couple of days. Time apart from each other will do you both good. You mentioned that you two haven't gone a day without talking to each other, maybe this is a good sign that you both need some time apart. I'm not saying to break things off, just have a couple days to yourself where you can do some thinking, relax and worry about other important things in life.

Then after you both cool off and had time to do some thinking, call her back and let her know how you felt about the situation, but DON'T apologize! Each of you are going to have to deal with things that the other does whether you like it or not, so it isn't your fault if you mess up or make a mistake and she doesn't like it. She might also have flaws that may bug you, but if you want things to work out between the two of you, you both are going to have to put the flaws aside and find a way to work things out around them.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Perhaps, instead of following this pattern you seem to have established, you need to take a step back and BREATHE. And while you are back there, breathing, perhaps you can take an objective look at your relationship. What do you two fight about ? Is it a variation on a theme (the same thing every time only in different colors ?) Are you apologizing to get over the hump or are you really sorry ? If you are really sorry, then why do you keep messing up ? Is she fixated on something that isn't going to change ? Often couples get in these patterns and start paying attention to the symptom rather than the problem. Step back and figure out what the problem is and address it, not the argument.

Just an idea......

Answer 4

Personally, I'd say the reason you're fighting is because the two of you are always in contact with each other in one form or another. It's just like you said, it shouldn't be a big deal, but this is the kind of thing that happens in a relationship that doesn't have any breathing room.

If you want any hope of healing the wounds, I'd suggest breaking things off with her, and looking elsewhere. This will give the both of you time to miss each other, and greatly increase the chances of things working out.

Calling her now will only make things worse, even if the two of you do make up to each other. Eventually she won't be able to take it anymore, and before you know it, she'll probably find someone else to attach herself to.

Answer 5

First problem is that you are deciding how much things should bother her. You call it over reacting but it might be something that really bothers her very bad. You shouldn't just right it off because you dont think its a big deal. Its obviously a big deal to her. I personally dont like to be given time. Even if I'm hanging up the phone on you. I think the person who did wrong needs to keep at it until the other person will talk to you. If you care about someone you want to resolve the wrong you did ASAP.

Answer 6

If I was in your shoes I would probably give it a few days. Then sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Put it out there, let her know what your feeling. Perhaps the next time you mess up or say something that she finds offensive her reaction may not be so bad. I believe honesty is the best road in all relations of the heart.

Answer 7

ive been in the same situation, only i was the over reacting girl friend. try emailing her and telling her when youre going to call that way if she doesnt want to talk she doesnt have to answer and you can just leave her a message, and just tell her that youre frustrated and that you didnt think it was a big deal, but at the same time try to understand that it upset her and ask her why

Answer 8

Well.... are you guys in love? Me and my boyfriend argue all the time. A couple that doesn't argue isn't a real couple. Maybe shes just sensitive and you may have to get used to that. Girls these days are REALLY sensitive. And give her sometime. Then call her explain to her that you didn't mean what you meant and it slipped the wrong way. If she won't understand and she still arrogant, then i say you move on.

Answer 9

With Mt. Vesuvius (a.k.a. your girlfriend) I wouldn't chance another blowout. Instead, try calling and arrange to meet her in person so you can resolve the issue at hand. If she's going to have a stick up her butt about it, at least you called and tried. Good luck, buddy.

Answer 10

give her a little bit of time to think about it. I just got out of a relationship like that so you just need to give her time then call her back in like a week or so. She needs to have time to cool off.

Answer 11

if you really care for her than call her
if she told you not to call her come to her house (with a lil gift - a rose / a fav chocholate (her fav chocholate...) / a soda / whatever..) and talk to her
if she won't see you leave that lil gift you brought with an l'm sorry note for her and wait....

When someone is importent to you show her you'll make the extra effort to make her feel wanted - that will prove her you really love her - lf you dont love her don't bother doing all those stuff...

good luck!