My sister is dating and going to marry a bipolar boyfriend. Should he be sterilized?

Question

My sister is dating and madly in love with a guy who had bipolar. Im concerned because they are going to marry and she might have children with him. Shouldnt he be sterilized?

Please dont yell at me as Im entitled to my opinion. This is America. I believe that women should select genes if possible to assure the strongest, most successful baby. I have read 2 schools on this. One from scholarly studies says that the hereditary nature of bipolar has never been established or proven. The other from what I generally read on the net says it is or can be genetic. From what Ive seen there seems to be an 8% chance of having a bipolar baby if getting pregnant with one of these guys. (5-12% range) Isnt that enough reason for him to be sterilized so this tragedy wont occur?

Apparently this was widely done and approved of in over 44 universities by 1912, and only stopped because people went too far. How would they sterilize him and what is the best way to ensure he doesnt hurt anyone?

Answer 1

According to your opinion, if she was dating a diabetic, would you want him to be sterilized too?

Answer 2

I am a bipolar mother although I did not get diagnosed until after I had my children. The first question I asked was if my children could end up with this. I was told there was a very small chance.
From my experience with the different medications, I think it is a nightmare being bipolar. None of the meds have worked and I have taken as many as 9 pills a day. If I had known before I had kids, I am not sure I would have had them. I don't want to be the cause of my children going through this. I love them dearly though and I think they are the only reason I am still here.
Having children when you are bipolar is not a decision to be taken lightly. It is easy to say it is such a small chance of it being passed down not to worry about it. That small chance has to happen to someone though! If your sister and the man she is marrying have talked about it and researched it then good for them. That is the most responsible thing they can do.
I think that they should have children if that is what they both want, but they need to be well informed regarding the genetic transmission.
One more thing... I think having kids make it harder on the bipolar person because the stress level is skyrocketed. Which in turn will make it harder on your sister and the kids.

Answer 3

I'm amazed at the creepy people on here. It's scary.

My college roomate and first love had problems with bipolar, when we were in HS and in college, after his Mom got killed, and he is married, and I'm unfortunately not. I went through his depression and a hospital stay and it made me cry and still does. I think about him a lot. I was the only one who visited him as he had no Dad.

He has a better life than me. I'm lonely and he has someone nice. I should have grabbed him when I could but we ended up going to diffefrent grad schools and got separated apart.

I can assure you not everyone that has this misfortune is doomed. He has a very good life and children, and a good job, they get along good, and we talk a lot. He is still one of my closest and dearest friends, and one of the few who I can open up to and trust. I can cry to him where I cant with other people and even most of my girlfriends. He hasn't had a problem in over 10 yrs with no medicine. This guy was the love of my life in High School and is a great person.

I'm very digusted to see that there are such strange people who come onto the Internet to show their ignorance, and abuse towards others. The evil is amazing.

Of all the answers, I found Tom's to be the most compelling, and so help me god, I dont know Tom. I didn't know those guys he mentioned actually had bipolar at any point in their life.

There are two types of people who have dealt with bipolar, those willing to take responsibility for themselves, whether they use medication or not (my HS sweetheart doesnt and does good), and those who dont, and abuse drugs and alcohol (moronic) , or think they can engage in outbursts to the women and men they love and get away with it. They cant.

I agree with some of the comments here that it is dangerous to group all people, and unfortunately that is what so many stupid , cruel men and women do on the net. This has been a real eye opener. It's sad the type of people in the world. You would expect better, especially of the women. I think your question was a very stupid one Kristin, and will get people like you put in hell or something like it, if you aren't careful. As for you supposed doctors and cops, I think you have the same ticket to hell or whatever dark place awaits you.

What you sow, you will reap.

Answer 4

whoa, slow down there nelly...this is 2006 not 1912, and now, there is more understanding about this disease and treatment options for it...What kind of bipolar does he have? True, Bipolar doesn't just go away, if he had it, he still has it and will need lifetime treatment from professionals...He needs to take medication and see a therapist. Yes, it most likely is genetic and could be passed on to progeny but you can't force sterilization on someone for that. its really not your place to decide this issue, its between him and his girlfriend. you need to get educated on Bipolar, and join the 21st century, last I checked, in America in the 21st Century we don't force anyone to be sterilized, if he wanted, say, a vasectomy or use birth control to forgo having biological children of his own, thats his call,and his business not yours...

Answer 5

If you are going to think this way, then a lot of men should be sterilized. The bipolar people you know must be extreme cases because you call 'it a tragedy'. Bipolar sufferers who cycle rapidly are extreme cases but it can be managed with or without medication. I know someone who has managed his bipolar condition with exercise, the correct diet and meditation. He has never taken medication.

There is strong evidence to suggest that Isaac Newton was bipolar. It is even thought that Winston Churchill was also bipolar. They lived and died without medication.

Answer 6

Assuming that you're serious, there is no law mandating that people with 'undesirable' genes be sterilized, particularly given that medical science may have developed a cure or better treatment when their hypothetical child is old enough to develop symptoms. Whether your sister and her husband decide to have children is up to them. I'd assume they are mature adults who are aware of the chances of passing on the disorder and that they have discussed what they plan to do in the future. It's up to them. It's entirely possible that they may decide not to have children at all, or to adopt.

As a sister, you're better off not preaching at them and treating your future brother in law like he's dangerous or somehow inferior. If he's bipolar and on medication then he's fine. Don't sweat it. If you make an issue of this you'll just hurt and alienate your sister and possibly the rest of your family. Be supportive and let your sister live her own life as she sees fit.

Answer 7

Since you seem to have done a lot of research on the subject, you must SURELY know that his condition can be controlled with medication. As for hurting anyone, he's more likely to hurt himself.

If you can find out there's an 8% chance bipolarism will be passed on, you can find out how he would be sterilised - although I can almost guarantee you that any doctor worth his salt would NOT sterilise an otherwise healthy man for this reason.

Answer 8

Wow. My hubby is bi-polar. He's the most amazing person I know. I met him in graduate school. We're both getting our PhDs.

While I hope my kids don't end up with bi-polar (what parent doesn't want their kid to be perfect?!), there is positive things to the disease. For example, he's so creative! His mind is able to make connections in ways I don't see. He's an extremely fast worker (he got a MA thesis written in about a month!).

Also, there are 2 types of bi-polar. Type I is strong and can be a real problem (i.e., stereotypical). While Type II folks are manic and depressive, but in small swings. Nothing too dramatic.

Anyway, if bi-polar is undercontrol and you know how to deal with it, it can be an enormous BENEFIT!!! My husband can atest to that.

This is an issue for the supreme court, not someone trying to weed out variation in our society.

Answer 9

I am Bipolar and so is my mother. It's not that big of an issue. I am fine...I just take prozac. You are making a big deal about nothing. Just because the father is bipolar doesn't mean the child will be and if the child does turn out to be, it is quite managable.

Answer 10

so are you saying that your genes are in no way defective? some people carry genes that never effect them but once they spawn w/another's genes they create a disorder. this obviously could or could not be bipolar in this situation. if you are looking for someone to support your belief that said boyfriend should be sterilized, i hope you find none. yes this is america, but holy crap, sterilizing a man b/c he's been diagnosed in the past with bipolar disorder seems highly unnecessary.

Answer 11

What makes you think Bipolar people should be sterilised. It is AGAINST the human rights act to do such a disgusting thing. Given the right medication they can lead normal lives. Would you say the same thing about a Deaf or blind person. Sorry but you are living in the dark ages.