What is wrong with spanking your child part 2!?

Question

Doesn't discipline call for a little fear. If the child has no fear of what the punishment is then how does it stop the behavior. When there is not any fear of the parents then the child runs the show. Example we do not break the law for what reasons: for fear of consequence.

Answer 1

I was spanked, my parents were spanked, my grandparents were spanked...

You know what? We all grew up to be law abiding well adjusted adults. I think we've seen where kids end up when they arent spanked.

I do agree that there are many other effective ways of dealing with poor behavior in children, such as reasoning and time out, but there are times when nothing can replace a quick swat on the butt and a stern talking to.

If more people actually told their children no, and disciplined them a little, we might have a better functioning society.

Answer 2

I think what Mustang Sally is not so eloquently saying is that, occasional spankings, not beating your child, may be helpful in raising a respectful child.

Let us not forget that not all children are created equally. Of course, nurturing the child with love and affection and support and respect will do its part. But, there are children who, for whatever reason, chemical or past neglect, do not respect a parent who relies on calmly explaining that this behavior is not excepted. Of course, parents can take away privileges that older children have, ground children and give other sorts of punishment or consequence, but those techniques require a level of reasoning that is not present in a toddler.

Spanking a toddler, without leaving a mark, and obviously as a last resort, is not going to embarrass or emotionally scar the child. It actually is very helpful in reinforcing safety concerns, for example. My little girl has been spanked for going in the street, after several warnings. I have also spanked when my kids tried to touch the stove, while I'm cooking. Even the occasional, threat to spank will help motivate my kids to respect my requests.

All in all, spanking is controversial, only because there are so many ways to use it. I don't think should be used as the only tool to raise or discipline children, it can be helpful with difficult children and in life threatening situations.

Answer 3

Spanking a child is not only humiliating, no matter how "gently" one does it but it teaches and reinforces the message to the child that the bigger one has more power.
You have also made the erroneous connection between "discipline" and "fear". The word "discipline" is a derivative of the word "disciple" which simply means "follower of". In the case of children, it is hoped that they would "follow" the behavioural example set by their caregivers. "Fear", on the other hand, is about wielding the power to deprive someone of something they want, such as television privileges or candy.

I am also disturbed by your statement that, "When there is not any fear of the parents then the child runs the show." That is just not true. Children "run the show" (whatever that means) when they have no respect for their parents. Chances are, parents in that situation have no respect for their children.

Finally, our adherence to law has nothing to do with fear of consequences; at least, in fully mature adults who possess all faculties of reason and morality. Our following of the law is due to a strong desire to strengthen the fabric of society. Otherwise, you could argue that you don't murder someone just because you're afraid of getting caught.

Answer 4

Discipline has nothing to do with fear. The word actually means "teaching."

I know that the few times that I've smacked my daughters' hands it's been because I lost my temper. I lost control. So how does that teach them anything? Yes, they're shocked into stopping whatever annoying thing they're doing, but they're also learning that I'm bigger so I win, that it's OK to lose control, and that when you lose your temper it's OK to hit. What's good about THAT lesson?

It's possible to have children understand consequences without fear. A few simple rules, consistently enforced, with consequences such as time out and loss of privileges, can teach everything that a spanking can with none of the negatives.

I wasn't spanked. My kids aren't spanked. And you know what? We're law-abiding, well-adjusted people, too.

Maybe parents should just focus on raising their kids, as well as they know how, and spend less time trying to convert other parents to their side of the argument. We're all trying to achieve the same goals, after all...

Answer 5

Spanking is the lazy mans' way of diciplining a child. Why would anyone WANT to have thier children fear them? You should be thier protector. To dicipline your child is to show them there are consequences for thier actions. This can be done with time outs and taking privlidges away. And as another person stated that the word dicipline is to let them follow your lead which means that your actions are what they follow. If you fail to give them respect then how would you expect them to know how to respect you??? Most people who feel that this is bull are the ones who are too lazy to carry out these actions and to listen to simple logic.

Answer 6

I agree. one of the things that is wrong with the children of today is that they have no fear of repercussions. I do not however believe in beating a child, but i do believe in spanking. Believe me there is a difference. When i was bad i was sent to my room, when i was really bad i was spanked on my hand or bottom. And i am happy that it was done!

Answer 7

Aman!!! I truly believe in spanking. I only spank when I feel he needs it. Like running in the street or when I have asked him to stop for the 10th time. Kids need a little fear in their lives. We are their parants not their friends. And just to let you know it is not against the law in all 50 states to spank your child. As long as you do it with your hand only. It is against the law to beat your child.

So if your kid needs it, do it! Our kids will be well behaved and grow up to be good adults.

Answer 8

you can have discipline without spanking and why in the world would you want your child to fear you. It takes time, some common sense, consistency plus a little respect (both ways) to have discipline...besides...I'm sure there are privileges you can take away in this techno world..........

Answer 9

That is the stupidest thing i've ever heard. Fear does NOT help AT ALL. Why would you even want to frighten a poor little kid? Hitting a child will not prevent them from making the same mistakes. They will only become tolerant to the abuse and make more and more mistakes. OR the abuse will just permanently scar them and it will lead them to becoming violent adults.

Answer 10

I agree 100%!!! It's the children that run the show and wear the pants when there is no discipline involved. Not spanking your children is why children are the way they are today, monsters!