my nephew just moved in with us on the July 17 and sence then he has torn my wallpaper off the wall, threw a chair at our t.v. and broken our 3 year olds arm. My husband has wanted to spank him but i have held him back should i allow my husband to spank him!?!? and if so should it be barebottomed? with the hand, belt wooden spoon, paddle what?
2006-07-24 07:59:34 · 15 answers · asked by monkeysrock_cb 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
i am sorry not my 3 year olds arm his 3 year olds SISTERS arm. the 3 year old is currently living with my brother and when he broke her arm he was VISITING her at my brothers sister-in-laws care sorry about that miss leading info......
2006-07-24 08:13:26 · update #1
definitely no on the spanking!
why is he living with you? he may be having issues with feeling deserted by his parents or he may be grieving. either way, he is acting out, and you have to let him know that his behavior is not acceptable. spanking him will only make it worse because it will show him that violence is ok. it sounds like he is beyond the "time-out" punishment being effective. have you tried talking to him yourselves to find out what the problem is? make sure that you reinforce to him that no matter what he does, you will still love him. if you plan on keeping him around, make sure that he knows that, don't tell him anything like "if you do that again we'll send you (insert location here)". that will make him feel like he's not wanted there either and he'll probably act out that much more. he's probably feeling very confused and abandoned, and while that doesn't excuse his behavior, understanding that will make it easier for you to help him through it.
2006-07-24 08:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy Dearest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He BROKE your 3 year olds arm?!??
This is an issue for child protective services. A qualified third party should be directed to investigate whether you are qualified to raise children, or whether they need state protection and foster homes. The environment is clearly a threat to life and limb of your three year old.
If a qualified government official heard of this, then you might lose both children to foster care. These sorts of things should never have happened. If you, as parents can not keep them from happening, then you have a serious problem.
The lesson the five year old already has learned is that he can break the arm of a 3 year old with impunity. How long is it going to take for him to act out in a more life-threatening manner? Think about it.
2006-07-24 08:08:42 · answer #2 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!
The last thing you want to do to a vilonet child is display more violence! All you would be doing is reinforcing all of the negative feelings he already has! Usually a child who is acting out like this will be having personal or family issues to deal with. I assume that since your nephew lives you with you and not a parent, that there may be some family issues he needs to sort out. He doesnt know how to communicate properly . A child likes this needs extra care and attention....what are his interests? You really should be providing him with preferred activites for example if he enjoys arts and crafts buy him paints, markers paper and give him time each day. A child who is busy has less time to find trouble!
Please dont let your husband spank him....this little boy i sangry about something...he needs someone to reach out to him and talk to him and show him kindness!
2006-07-24 08:07:57 · answer #3 · answered by geet840 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First explain the rules.
Next talk to him/her when they break the rules and explain that he/she will be punished and what the punishment will be.
Next give the punishment and explain why they are getting it.
Never wait to give the punishment.
I rarely spank, because they will follow the rules if they know you will punish them.
Don't punish out of anger, punish out of love and explain why you are doing it and that you care about them but the behavior must change.
Spanking is not always the right punishment, I believe in punishment being on a sliding scale, getting worse with each infraction.
Punishment is a form of love, children need guidence.
If you do get to the spanking, I believe in using your hand and they would have on clothes, it should be more of a shock than real pain.
Good luck...
2006-07-24 08:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no physical discipline! that actually has many adverse affects and will come to bit you in the ***. noooooo
he seems like he needs therapy and a lot is going on in his little head that he cannot express yet. Give him time outs and be very admit and consistent about his discipline. Make a discipline chart that he can visually see. Take a poster bored and draw/write what the course of punishment will be for him. B/c his is 4 yrs old, 4 minutes of time out is recommended. Sounds like he needs love, consistency, and therapy. Ono spanking!
2006-07-24 21:30:03 · answer #5 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not spank the child. It sounds like he has some emotional scars or possibly a disorder. He needs to see a specialist. Please take him to get evaluated so that you can help him. he is endangering himself and your 3 year-old and he needs help. He is just a little boy and spanking is only going to make things worse. He will be starting Kindergarten in the fall, and if you cannot afford treatment for him, the school will most likely need to provide it for him.
2006-07-24 08:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by kwinkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!no no no! never spank a child no matter how upset they get you! never! thats child abuse..(i hate to say that but it is!) All that child needs is love and guidence...he needs encouragement for any little good thing that he does. you tell him it was a good job, great job, wonderful job..whatever. even if its not.praise him anyway. he needs a lot of hugs and someone to tell him that they love him.hugs and kisses,are a great way to get through to him...beating a child only pushes them further down that road of self hate. dont ever call him a bad kid or ignorant kid, name calling is not a good way to get through to him...if u cant handle him, or are spanking him...he is better off with someone that wil actually take the time in getting to know him. and his fears, and insecurities.someone that will love him, and lead him into a good life. if u cant give him that, maybe someone else can .i will pray for you that you will never react in such a manner to any children. and i will pray for him as well.
2006-07-24 08:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by luvin21_f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this child is in need of some major professional help. Get him to a child pschologist and try to figure out what's going on. Spanking won't teach him anything.
2006-07-24 17:18:21 · answer #8 · answered by turtlewoman2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is from nanny 911 I hope this can help
THE 11 COMMANDMENTS OF NANNY 911
BE CONSISTENT
No means no. Yes means yes.
ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES
Good behavior is rewarded. Bad behavior comes with penalties.
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN IT
Think before you speak—or you’ll pay the price.
PARENTS WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM
If you can’t be on the same page, your children are not going to know who to listen to—and they’ll end up not listening to anyone.
DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP
If you tell the kids you’re going to Disneyland, better get ready to pack your bag.
LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN
Acknowledge their feelings. Say “I understand” and “I am listening”—then take the time to understand and take the time to listen.
ESTABLISH A ROUTINE
Routines make children feel safe and give structure to their time.
RESPECT IS A TWO-WAY STREET
If you don’t respect your children, they are not going to respect you.
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT WORKS MUCH BETTER THAN NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT
Praise, pleasure, and pride accomplish far more than nagging, negatives, and nay-saying.
MANNERS ARE UNIVERSAL
Good behavior goes everywhere.
DEFINE YOUR ROLES AS PARENTS
It is not your job to keep your children attached to you. It’s your job to prepare them for the outside world—and let them be who they are.
2006-07-24 11:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by twistedsingle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
extremely then going decrease backward and forward with a 5 twelve months previous sit him down and clarify what the fast bus is for and that he does no longer and purely isn't using in it. enable him understand how his comments can damage peoples thoughts and he needs to commence gaining expertise of about being thoughtful of others round him. i understand he's purely 5 and sitting down having a rational communique with a 5 twelve months previous looks somewhat ridiculous. yet believe me in case you communicate agency with him and make certain you've his finished interest you'd be stunned what you will get by to him. also yet another ingredient make certain he knows that if he's heard affirming something unfavorable about human beings on the small yellow bus or affirming something about him being retarded he will be punished. He needs to understand there is consequences for no longer listening to you. And yet another ingredient the propose aunt needs pass boost up! Telling a 5 twelve months previous hes retarded isn't a good thanks to construct the little men self-worth. solid success!
2016-10-15 03:57:51 · answer #10 · answered by asar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋