how do you tell a man's wife that you were the last one he had sex with before he died?

Question

i have friend that is married and her husband stays away from home alot due to his job. she started talkin to one of his friend on the phone, he's married also, and stays in another town. Well the conversations got deep and he planned a trip to come and visit her. they slept together and he was on his way back home, about an hour and a half away, and he had a car accident about 35-40 minutes after sleeping with my friend. he didn't survive and his family had no clue that he went to visit his friend's wife.She went to the funeral and hugged his wife and mother and alot of others. she feels that she is the blame for him not being alive. but his mother is still asking questions about why he was in her area that late and why he was on the road? she wants answers and my friend has them but doesn't want to tell her. is she doing the right thing by not telling her or should she tell her and suffer the conceqeunces? I can't think of any good advice for her except pray and repent of her sins

Answer 1

The only reason that I can see to tell anyone about this is to hurt his wife. Why would you want to do that? She is already in enough pain. If your friend thinks that this "confession" will help to ease her guilt, I think she's wrong. It won't help anyone and only cause pain for everyone. She is right not to tell them. Personally I don't think she should have told you either.

Answer 2

Pray and repent? She is still going to feel the same regardless. She just needs to act responsible and do the right thing. She has her conscience to clear. She may be able to get some forgiveness from this man's wife may help her in the end. But it her husband was at fault too for being with her. In addition, the man's wife is to blame too. Maybe if their marriage was better somehow the affair would never have happened.

Answer 3

She must keep this information to herself. Knowledge is power. She has the knowledge to make this poor widow even more despondent than she already is. By confessing, she may be lifting a burden from her own shoulders, but she will be placing a yoke of anger around the shoulders of the widow. This woman is going through enough as it is. If the mother of the widow has questions regarding where her husband was, then I think that the adultress should tell the mother, on the condition that the mother shield her daughter, the widow, from the information. A loving mother would not want her daughter to go through more pain... but then, not all mothers are loving, and even those that are can be drama-lovers and gossipers who can't keep their mouth shut. Tell the adultress to keep that in mind before she confesses to the mother. Yes, the husband was an adulterer as well, but he is dead, and his widow would rather remember him as blameless.

Answer 4

I personally would not tell them. They have already gone through enough. They do not need that angish also. Yes, she really needs to repent. I think that she should probably also get some counseling to help her resolve her feelings about what happened. It isn't her fault that he got into an accident. When it is your time to go...the Lord will take you home. You need to be there for her. She will need your support. Has she told her husband? If she tells him, then he may tell the family also. Hopefully this was helpful. Hang in there.

Answer 5

Yes put that in the Lords hands. To what good will the wife knowing of his infidelity bring to the situation? He will not be returned to this life and this may only depend the sorrow for the widow. When they say the Lord works in mysterious ways, this it what they mean. He has received only the first of the wave of punishments for his disobedience. Your "friends" best bet is to repent and pray for forgiveness. In time she may need to tell the wife to completely atone but now is not the time.

Answer 6

Stay out of it.

Her mother isn't helping her daughter at all. It seems that she is just trying to prove herself right in a gosipy terrible way. Her mother should just shut up.

Your friend will not feel better about learning that her husband was a piece of S#!+. She's probably needing to heal, and her mother is being a C~nt.

Your friend sucks too.

Answer 7

She can read the accident report the police have --- people travel --- I go for long drives just to get away and see different areas.
There's nothing else she can say that will bring comfort to the hurting family --- you can talk to your friend and encourage her to repent of committing adultery and to get into marriage counseling and learn to communicate with her husband and tell him he needs to be home more because she is lonely and needs intimacy with him.

Answer 8

Everyone should be truthful and accept the consequences of thier actions.....this incident almost makes me believe there is a god still doling out punishment.... The family will not have true peace until they know the truth, and in fact it might help alleviate thier suffering because I wouldnt be sad after finding out he died on his way back from an affair. Just my opinion.

Answer 9

How do you tell the wife? Why tell the wife? The guy's dead; this can only cause hurt and do no good except to ease the guilty conscience of the woman he slept with. It would be extremely selfish of her to do that. The repentence stuff, well, that's up to her. She couldn't be all that religious if she'd commit adultery with this man to begin with.

Answer 10

No good can come from making a confession to the family. She needs to keep the information to herself, pray to God for forgiveness and repent. As far as being responsible for the man's death, she is not. He made a conscious decision to have an affair with her; therefore, he and he alone is to blame. After all, it was he that made the arrangement to go to her and it was he who chose when to go and how to go. It is best for her to put it behind her. Jesus loves her.