My husbands family loves to buy our daughter clothes which is great and very kind. The problem is the kind of clothes they buy her we do not want her to wear. They are spending alot of money on clothing we are just giving away to the Goodwill because we will not let her wear them. His sister tryed to buy her some platform flip flops and I said that we do not approve of them on our daughter. I do not want my 6 year old dressing like a teenager with short short skirts, crop tops, shoes with too high of heels...that type of thing. The whole BRATZ clothing and dolls are something we do not want our daughter thinking is the way a woman should look. Any advise?
2006-07-24 07:20:09 · 28 answers · asked by monkey f 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Its hard because you do not want to offend anyone and you appreciate their kind gestures...however you are your childs best advocate. You can either ask your husband to speak to his family regarding the types of clothing that you both believe are acceptable or not acceptable or you can ask that they just use gift cards instead.
2006-07-24 07:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 1⤋
I hear that! These girls are growing up way faster today than they should. What's the point of dressing your 8 y/o like a hooker? Do you want her to get raped by some dirty old neighbor guy or some horny teenager? Hey, this isn't overreacting this crap happens today. I have an 8, almost 9 year old daughter and she isn't allowed to wear shirts that show off her stomach or clothes that make her look like shes 16 years old. She can wear lip gloss/chapstick but she isn't allowed to wear any makeup outside of the house (she can if shes playing dressup inside only). I believe there is a time and place and an age, for everything, why do we need to hand our 6 year old bras and high heels and tell them to have a nice day as they go out to play? What's the deal? Let them be innocent children for as long as possible. Take a look around you and see what telling our children and having them look older and grow up sooner than they're supposed to has done to our society. So I totally get what you are saying, and she is your daughter. If they cannot respect yoru wishes simply throw out the clothes they buy, of course forwarn them that you will do this so they are not standing there shocked when you do it. Harsh? It sure is, but so is going against your wishes as her parent. You both have the final say, not them. Best wishes with this mess!
2006-07-24 07:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me i would be upfront and honest But put it in terms that is not hurtful! Simply say I really love you guys buying her clothes my problem is not with the fact you buy them it is the type I am sorry but i really don't want my daughter to dress the way "the trend is" she needs to have appropriate 6 year old attire. No heals she is 6 the day and time will come when she will GEt to do this but right now she can't. Just explain what you would like and maybe go with them once to show them what is idea for you! that way they know so that they are not offended.
2006-07-24 07:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by lori b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them "Look, we do not want our daughter dressing in clothes that aren't even okay for a teenage girl to wear. We would like her to grow up thinking that she doesn't have to dress skanky to get guys to notice her or to be accepted. If you can't respect that then maybe you shouldn't be buying her clothes at all, even though we appreciate the thought. Or if you feel that you have to buy her clothes, give her a gift card and we will go shopping with her and help her to pick out age appropriate clothing".
I hear you on the clothes. I'm disgusted with some of the clothes that they choose to make for little girls these days. People think that it's cute now but they aren't going to like it when she comes home with a guy named Butch at 17 and he slaps her butt.
2006-07-24 07:26:12 · answer #4 · answered by guineasomelove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am applauding you as I type, my dear.
How refreshing to hear a mother take this stand for her daughter these days.
However, the problem still remains.
Straight talk is the only solution I can think of....and if the relatives get offended or if they persist in giving imappropriate clothes....then it becomes their problem.
One thought occurs, however.
With a little skill you might be able to alter some of those clothes to make them acceptable? Just a thought. Get help from a seamstress is you think that might appease the relatives to some degree.
BUT YOUR WORD IS FINAL!
2006-07-24 07:36:56 · answer #5 · answered by Puzzler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say thank you, and explain why you are returning them. Stand up for your opinion! I applaud your position. I have also made a point to tell my own 6 year old daughter what's not appropriate about those clothes (it's important to cover up your private parts) - and I let her pick out something she'd like in exchange. She picks the sparkliest stuff (YUCH) but at least it's covering her!
2006-07-24 07:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by albertan_homegrown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with this one! I was just discussing with my friend how the whole Bratz thing is totally unacceptable! We flat out told my dad that we did not want our daughter to have Bratz items and he still bought her a couple dolls because "that was what she really wanted." We made her return one and pick out something else more appropriate. It is hard to get close family members to respect your parenting decisions sometimes. Good luck!
2006-07-24 07:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by Suzanne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know how you feel about the style of clothes while also expressing appreciation for the clothing in general. Do they take her out shopping or just buy the stuff and give it to her. If they don't take her out you can easily tell them that she likes to choose her own clothes and a gift card would be most appreciated.
2006-07-24 07:32:08 · answer #8 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can get them in the habit of giving you gift receipts - just in case the clothes don't "fit". That way, you can exchange them for clothes that are more appropriate. I completely understand where you're coming from because I know that I will face the same issues with my in-laws. Good luck.
2006-07-24 07:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by Susan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply be honest and very straight. Let them know that your daughter is not allowed to wear those kinds of clothes and that you'd appreciate them not buying them. Honesty is key and not being hasty in the conversation. It doesn't have to be a lengthy conversation, tell them that she isn;t allowed to wear them and that is final.
2006-07-24 10:03:05 · answer #10 · answered by Brandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you just tell them what, precisely, you will permit your daughter to wear? This doesn't seem so difficult.
You could say, "I appreciate the fact that you are willing to buy clothes for our daughter. It's very generous. But the style you are buying doesn't suit her. Would you please consider [this other style] instead?" Then go on to list exactly what would be appropriate.
It's not that difficult. Just be upfront and clear, while acknowledging their generosity.
2006-07-24 07:23:55 · answer #11 · answered by Gestalt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋