Okay, I am a really nice, well rounded person. I am responsible (taking care and breaking a colt), smart ( 4.0), not unathletic, caring of other ppl, nice, all of that.
My problem is is with my family. My mom and mostly grandma. With them i just, ughhh. it seems like everything my grandma says is just so stupid. I am very disrespecful to her. I think I resent her and my mom.
See I have a little brother. he is SPOILED. He is one of those kids who have to have EVERYTHING they want. Even just having someone out of a room. If he doesn't get every little thing he wants, he screams and throws a fit. He doesn't even if he doesn't want whatever he is screaming about. EX- "If you don't let me have spagetti o's, i will run away." "No spa. o's" "YEEEES!!!" He screams and throws himself onto the ground. goes and destroys stuff. THat is how he got he way.
How do I change my feelings for my grandma and mom? I hate it when i sass or argue. I hate it when i feel like yelling at my grndma.
2006-07-24 07:08:05 · 6 answers · asked by Horse Lover 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You don't say how old you are, so it's kinda hard to give you specific recommendations. But, if you are a teenager to young adult, then you are just reaching the age when you are annoyed by lots of things. I completely went through that too and remember the moments that I realized I was smarter than my mom and smarter than my grandma. I also remember being so frustrated with my siblings (younger and older) because they were out of control with things.
It's not your place to discuss the upbringing of your brother with your mother. You can tell her something like this "When he does XXX, I feel XXX, " rather than "Why do you treat him like that and let him do anything he wants???" The first one is the best way of dealing with situations that affect you. If you go in and accuse your mom of overindulging him, you'll start a huge power struggle between the 2 of you. Instead, focus on how he affects you and hopefully your mom will accept the thoughtful and mature approach you take.
As hard as it is, the way I got through it was to simply focus on other things. When I got annoyed, I'd work on something else. I was also helped, as stupid as it sounds, by sitting next to a really really unintelligent person. She'd ask for help and was trying so hard that it taught me patience and acceptance.
However, if you feel yourself getting severely angry, see a therapist. Don't let it build up and it could change your attitude and dealings with people for the rest of your life. It's not wimpy to see one - it can really help you vent and deal with things so that you don't get so irritated with everything.
Good luck to you! : )
2006-07-24 07:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you are young and I know you feel helpless about changing your attitude, but actually you are the one in charge!! The truth is, no one makes us behave the way we do. Your mother and grandmother are responsible for the mistakes they make, but only you are responsible for the ones you make. No one can force you to have a bad attitude. You probably feel frustrated and angry sometimes, and allow those feelings to vent in your attitude. But, you need to convince yourself that you can be content no matter what, because you are happy with yourself. The problem is, we believe the lies that say:
1. I have a right to behave badly
2. It's unhealthy to not express myself, even if it hurts someone else
3. The other people deserve to be treated badly
4. I'm gonna take care of "number one" (me)
Maybe your family members are difficult to get along with, but you can still change the way you react by believing the opposite truths:
1. I am entitled to my feelings, but my words and actions need to be kind
2. I do not have to verbally express every thought I have
3. I will treat others the way I wish I was treated
4. Putting the needs of others ahead of my own will make me feel better and maybe even heal old wounds
And...... I truly believe with all my heart that God is the only answer to all of life's problems. The advice I just gave you came from my head...... but the wisdom of God is far better and higher than anything I could come up with. Check Him out!! : )
2006-07-24 07:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by Katie My Katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound like a simple answer, but it is not. I would truly talk to your Mom and Grandma. There may be some issues you aren't aware of and why they indulge your little brother. You would be natural to be frustrated, jealous, and in awe of this behavior from them towards him. They need to know how you feel in a non threatening way. Approach it with them in a way that shows you are old enough to discuss behavior and not just a "its not fair" smarty pants attitude. You sound like a great girl and like you might not need the attention they are giving to him---but you deserve to know why and they deserve to know how it makes you feel. Approach it with grace and maturity and that is hopefully what you will receive. Good Luck!
2006-07-24 07:16:56 · answer #3 · answered by Missie D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. tha'ts a hard one. The only person who can change your attitude is you The one thing you need to understand is that they don't hate you because they treat the kid differently. They may be making mistakes, but that's no reason to disrespect them.
I would suggest you sit down with them sometime and ask to be able to speak to them about the problems, but i'm not so sure theyh would be open to that coming from you. Perhaps it's best right now to smile and leave the room.
2006-07-24 07:13:15 · answer #4 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really cant answer cause im in the same position sorta but with my job !!
2006-07-24 07:12:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun, i am the same way as you so if we can both get an answer that would be amazing
2006-07-24 07:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by stitchgirl_1@rogers.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋