I care about my mother but she has made it clear just short of telling me she hates me that she really doesn't care to much about me. My little sister has always been her favorite and she shows it every chance she gets. Her and my father are separated and she finds ways to leave me out of things. She treats my 7 years old cousin that currently lives with us better than she treats me. I'm 18 and next year after I graduate from college I plan on leaving the house and I would like some type of relationship with her. This hurts really bad she never tells me she's proud of me about anything even when I graduated from High School. She's only nice to me when its convient for her then she just drops me. She doesn't help me pay for school or anything I do it all by myself. It has been this way since I was young and it really hurts. I don't want her to tell me she loves me or to have a wonderful relationship I just want a better relationship with her. I don't want to regret anything later.
2006-07-24 06:50:50 · 8 answers · asked by Pretty Brown Eyes 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thank you so much for your kind words
2006-07-25 10:55:44 · update #1
Unfortunately you can't change who she is and how she feels, what ever it may be. They key to this is to focus on your life and making your life something special to you while keeping the door to a relationship with your mother open. Odds are she may never be the mother you wish she would be but sometimes as we get older the relationship between us and our parents does change and grow. Treat her the way you would treat her if she was the most wonderful mother in the world, but don't have any expectations of how she will behave.
2006-07-24 06:58:17 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your pain. No parent is perfect. Perhaps if you share this (what you wrote here) she will see how you feel... Communication is key. Tell her you would like a closer relationship with her. Being a mother to an 18 year old is not easy. Not making excuses for her, as I don't know her, just speaking from a mother's standpoint. You are between being teenager and growing into a woman. It's tough for parents to know what to do for your child at this age, and most 18 year olds think they have all the answers and refuse to be mothered. Again I don't know the whole story, don't know the history, or issues either of you have, so I'm not trying to make it seem like I'm taking her side.
She may be treating you the way her mother treated her, she may be envious of your youth. Maybe she feels you don't care about her opinons so she just stopped giving them. She may have forgotten what it was like to be 18 and just can't relate to you... just a few guesses. Maybe something traumatic happened to her..., maybe she's afraid of loosing you now that your growing up, and her way is to distance you.
I hope that you are able to talk with her, explain how you feel, and that she is a good listener and places great importance in your feelings, as she should. But remember listening goes both ways, it takes two to communicate.
(((((((HUGS)))))))
2006-07-24 08:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by 2 cents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well we can not pick our mother or father in this world. But what we can do is try our hardest to make them proud and love them for giving us life.
Sometimes is hard to feel that they love you and yes they seem to focus all there love on the youngest. But as we all age the relationship changes and so do our parents. One day you will have the opportunity to sit for coffee with you mom and explain how you felt while you where growing up. And you will both laugh.
It's hard going through life feeling unwanted or unloved, but down deep inside your mom loves you. She made you for nine months in side and gave birth to you. That's not something a mother forgets! She loves you, and you need to keep loving her and keep that door opened. She will be knocking soon!
Good Luck!
2006-07-24 07:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by misscanada_y2k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk with her in a loving way, be honest and tell her, how she makes you feel. But remember, you cann't make her care if she doesnt. It sounds like she may be jealous of your sucess.
If all else fails, ask her if the both of you can go to counseling together, This way you have given every effert to correct things, I wish you all the best. It never hurts to ask the man upstairs to give you a guiding hand.
2006-07-24 09:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this but you cannot make people love you, even your mother. The good news is that you are better off. Your mother is a sorry human being that does not deserve such a beautiful, smart, loving daughter as you. I suggest you leave and never call her again
Concentrate on your positive relationships, you have your whole life ahead of you. Just make sure you never do this to your own children.
2006-07-24 08:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont know why your mom treats you this way. I think you should sit with her and ask her about this. show your care and love for her. I really dont know what to say in this situation. The only thing I can do is pray to God. I wish all the best in keeping good relationship with your mother.
2006-07-24 06:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you can't express the things you have written here, to her face to face, then you'll have to just accept her poor behavior.
you can love someone without letting them make you feel bad, even a bad parent. Set your own boundaries and don't allow her the ability to "wound" you...if you do then you are part of this unhealthy cycle...let go and move on. you're young, pretty and have a bright future- she'll never have that...
look forward to NOT being the one that will be forced to change her "Depends" when she is feeble...
2006-07-24 06:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU FIND OUT IM NOT CLOSE TO MY MOTHER EITHER AND I FEEL AS THOUGH I ALWAYS GET LEFT OUT
2006-07-24 07:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋