How can I do this?

Question

Ok, I have a 3 year old son and his father has visitation rights. He was also paying child support and stop supposely because of the immigration that was going on (he is illegal). He doesn't come and look for his son and he knows where to see him (at my dads) so he has no excuse at all. He also has my dads number so he can stay in contact with him at least if he doesn't go and see my son.

Now on the other hand my husband wants to adopt my son and put his last name for him. My husband is always there for him. He buys him cloths, food, he takes him to McD's everytime my son wants to. At night my son will say, "Daddy, come sleep with me," and he'll go and do it. My son calls him daddy cause that is who he sees around him, you know. My husband kisses my son goodnight, he reads him the Bible. Basically, he does everything a father should do for a son.
How can I start the adoption papers or what would I have to do if this man doesn't start taking responsibility?

Answer 1

I was raised with a step-father. While he is the one that helped my mother raise me, I would not have forgiven them if they had changed my name. Your sons last name has no bearing on the quality of love he receives. Don't punish the son for the fathers mistakes. Your husband should agree. When the boy is old enough to make the decision, let HIM decide to change his name. Sincerely. Raymond R. Lucas

Answer 2

If hes illegal and out of the country he doesn't have a lot of say. I am adopting a child right now and each state laws are different. Go to the courts and ask about the legalities. You will need a lawyer also. Spousal adoptions are not hard. Terminating the rights of the bio parent is really hard unless you can prove reckless abandonment. If the other parent volunteerily releases his parental rights then your in the clear. You should try to work this out domestically then put a child through a viscious court case. Good Luck.

Answer 3

If your husband just wants the kid to have his last name then you can change the kid's name without adoption. If he really wants to adopt him then I would say don't. It isn't fair to the real father and I'm not even sure if you can do it if the real father signed the birth certificate. Though, you could give your husband a Power of Attorney saying that he can make any decisions concerning your kid. I would look into that. If you make a really good one (with a lawyer) it would be almost the same thing as adoption.

Answer 4

first of all is he on the birth certificate as the father? You obviously haven't gone to court for the child support so he's off the hook. Let your husband adopt you shouldn't have any problems if there isn't a father listed for your son

Answer 5

I would petition the court for adoption of the child. His father is no father at all. Sounds like to me he knows who his daddy is Or maybe you could add his name to your sons. Iwuld find the father and tell him that it would be best for the child if he would sign away all rights to him. he has a man who loves him and treats him like a boy ought to be treated and with him coming and going he is confusing the child by doing this..Good luck

Answer 6

Well, considering the fact that your son's father is illegal, you might be able to call the court and find out how to start the adoption. If he is illegal and cannot be tracked down or located, I'm pretty sure you can do it.

Answer 7

Okkaay, so how did you marry an illegal immigrant in the US...

Anyways since you're remarried and have a great husband providing everything, why are you still complaining about the child support from an illegal immigrant

Answer 8

she never said she married the father of her son (the illegal immigrant).

you need to talk to a lawyer. I think before your husband can petition to adopt your son, his father has to give up all of his parental rights. someone mentioned the ad in the newspaper thing. in order for that to work, you need to put it in an in state newspaper that he has access to and it has to be run at least once a week for 4 weeks. for example, if you're in the detroit area, it has to be run in one of the detroit papers, not the newspaper for escanaba. and if the father isn't even living in the country at the moment, you might not be able to do that at all.

Answer 9

i would think talk to a lawyer about this problem cause if you let your husband adopt and that guy later on in life decides he wants to be a father again it could get ugly.
the world needs more guys like your husband.

Answer 10

I would agree about him adopting your son, that way if something happens to him or you he can act on your behalf rather than the irresponsible biological father. Not sure how you can do it though, perhaps consult a lawyer?