I am tried of hearing how nice and kind he was cause to me he was the worst and most disgusting human in the face of this earth. I don’t know if to tell my mother what happen of just keep it with in till the day I die. I never told my mother because she would have killed him. Please Help Thank You.
2006-07-24 06:22:39 · 24 answers · asked by -l-Unknow-l- 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you should have said somthing a long time ago. and seriously, get some help so that you can have normal relationships in the future. go into therapy. good luck.
2006-07-24 06:26:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
And what would be the point to telling her now other than to cause her immense sorrow? Ya mad 'cause she didn't protect you? How could she do that when you didn't tell her, Hmm? You're misdirecting your anger; it should be at him and at yourself for not having the courage to speak up about his misbehavior.
Instead of ruining another person's life - your mother's - for no good reason, you need to see a counsellor to help you get beyond your anger and focus your rage in a constructive direction. Tell your mom now and all you'll have done is make two people miserable. Begin with your county office of mental health - NOT a clergyman. Clergymen are rarely trained to deal with such topics and all too often say and do exactly the WRONG things!
2006-07-24 06:40:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should have said something a long time ago. But the fact is that you didn't.
So now you should go for a coffee with your mom and tell her. Not to hurt her, but to let her know that this happened to you and that you did not say anything to protect her. I think that this will bring your mom and you alot closer and she is going to see how much you love her.
She is going to feel very guilty for not noticing this was happening, and you need to tell her that this is not her fault and that you are doing the last thing you need to do to get over it and move on. That is telling her that he was not a good of a man as she makes him out to be.
This a hard thing to go through by your self and YOU are a very strong person and deserve the very best.
Love her and good luck!
2006-07-24 06:37:09 · answer #3 · answered by misscanada_y2k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why havent u told her while he was alive? if u tried and she wasnt going 2 believe u.Alot of women have gone through that kind of sickness. All I would suggest is for u 2 accept that he was wrong and dont blame yurself pray and see if God can give u a way 2 feel confortable talking about what happend. But it is best that ur getting out of than letting it tear u up inside daily when u think about him and what hes done.Its painful that he didnt ask u 4 forgiveness for the damaging.But trust me hes gotten what was coming for the acts and harm he done to u and himself
2006-07-24 06:32:00 · answer #4 · answered by VooDooQueenWitch Docter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard decision. If you leading a productive life and feel you have dealt with this past, then I wouldn't say anything. Part of grief is denial and this way be denied as well. If you need counseling from this, then I would bring your mother along so she can help. It will be hard for you either way.
2006-07-24 06:27:38 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sexual molestation is a cruel and disgraceful act. it should be condemned in all its ramifications. but to better understand it, one needs to understand that older men always seem to find younger women attractive. most fathers tend to imagine that because a girl is their daughter, they cannot be attracted to her. during puberty, just like in the lower animals, certain homonal changes in a young girl, sends the masculine gender around her to begin to notice her. FATHERS SHOULD NEVER TOUCH THEIR OWN CHILDREN in this period. they should deal with whatever they find themselves feeling by seeking the help of the Lord and counselling. i am sorry that you went through all of that. the advice i have is that you should find knowledge in the Lord and deal with such an issue so that it does not extend to your own kids. you should tell your mum about it now that he is dead. it pays to discuss with someone. do away with all things that might remind you have that inglorious past and begin a new life. if you need to talk to someone, just e mail me durhotimitoyea@yahoo.co.uk God bless you real good
2006-07-24 06:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by durhotimitoyea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have been carrying a heavy burden for a long time.
If you tell your mother now it will upset her and may cause a rift between the two of you.
Seek counselling and try to forgive him so you can get relief from this.
I hope you are not feeling guilty as if it was your fault, it was not your fault.
You were used by someone in authority and someone that should have been looking out and protecting you.
May God help you to overcome this terrible hurt.
2006-07-24 06:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by ijcoffin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard decision... i been in that situation..and of course the first thought was that i am lying..and that hurt me to my heart.. Know one can really tell you what to do..I say look into your heart and do what is best to ease your mind... My heart goes out to you, really it does.. Its not something i wish for anyone to endure in their life...i remember all the horrible things my mother said to me at the time..i know she didn't really mean them but i never forgot them.. I have a pretty good relationship with my mother now..we never speak of it...i guess that's best.. All i can say is do what you need to do...for you..good luck
2006-07-24 06:50:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad you weren't able to have him prosecuted.
Personally, I don't think you should tell her. It won't do any good for your mother. I doubt it would make you feel better. Plus it's possible that you could damage your relationship with your mother. I would talk to a therapist, but I wouldn't bring it up now.
2006-07-24 06:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by Robb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her but remember it is going to hurt her. She has no way to confront him now no way to try to help you with it (which is a mothers first isntinc) but you need to get some help too. maybe even see a phyc Dr. and see if the Dr. will help you tell her.
2006-07-24 09:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't deserve the hurt and pain that your hiding inside. He's gone and you never have to worry about him anymore so I would tell your mom what had happened. Not only for her but for you, it's a relief to get it off your back and its a healthy start. It was never your fault and you don't need to feel anymore pain, let it out, don't hold it back any longer there are many people that have gone threw what you have and no one ever deserves it.
2006-07-24 06:33:52 · answer #11 · answered by HotTherapist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋