My usually very well behaved 5 yr old is now having behavior problems...?

Question

everyone is always telling his dad and i how well behaved he is. the problem is when we are at home he is uncontrollable. he talks back constantly, he refuses to eat anything other than the few things he likes (which changes daily), he will act out by hitting us and screaming and crying.
i have never let this kind of behavior go unpunished with him or my younger son but now it is to the point where i want to strangle him because NOTHING WORKS...time out spanking losing priviledges NOTHING...it just keeps getting worse and worse and i really want to throw him out the window sometimes...any suggestions????????????

Answer 1

THANK YOU!!!I had to check and make sure I didn't write this! My five yr. old daughter has recently sprouted horns!She is the only girl(of three)and the middle child.She has always been my sweet angel girl until now.She talks back, refuses to eat anything even if it was her favorite the week before, and even started biting and hitting her siblings.I have an idea that sometimes works with her.She has a marble jar.She decides what she is working tor wards before hand.This can be very simple such as special time with mommy or choosing the game we play with the family.It depends on how extreme her behavior is.Sometimes I do have to up the ante.She can earn a marble for eating all of her dinner, getting up on time and getting dressed without whining,any thing you I see her doing that is positive.But she can lose a marble too.She has to earn 10 marbles.This helps with simple math too.ex.-you have six,how many more do you need to get to ten?Sometimes I put her in the tub with some special bath toys or bath paints.(if you feel comfortable leaving him in the tub while you're in the next room)This gives her and me some much needed down time.I hope this helps some.Feel free to look up my profile and e- mail me back.It's nice to know I'm not alone.
Losing her marbles in Ct.

Answer 2

Well, if he is well-behaved in front of others (no offense intended) then the problem lies at home. I know you said that you don't let it go unpunished, but there is a definite root cause for why he keeps that behavior for you and your husband.
Here is my suggestion: When he talks back, smack him quickly in the mouth without saying a SINGLE word. Do this repeatedly and he will stop.
When he won't eat, take the ENTIRE plate away and send him to bed without supper. Folks, people did this for years and nobody got malnourished.
When he hits you, SAY NOTHING, but lift him up and put him immediately into his bedroom as punishment.
It seems that he doesn't respect what you say so sometimes tactics that don't reinforce his behaviors with rationalization are the best way to get your message across. He is too young to rationalize, but not too young to train with a hard hand. I wish you good luck.

Answer 3

WOW!! So glad to hear there are others!! Mine has been almost"perfect" until now. Yep 6 years old! From what I have studied, this is a normal transition in personality development. Since you mentioned a younger bro., first make sure of fair attention. If that's not triggering the prob. then follow the tried/true methods:take plate away, no tolerance of hitting-time immediately by self, NO YELLING but let know of your discouragement,spank only when truly necessary, otherwise time-outs to calm and negative reinforcement. Hope it works, I'm in same boat!!! Also, judge the situation 1st - mine cannot handle being tired or hungry, so I try to see if that's the trigger sometimes.

Answer 4

Dont give up you are not alone, sometimes too many no's lose their value. Keep taking away his things, timeout almost always works if it is done right, put him in a quiet area and let him sit there for quite some time, then everytime he acts out add 15 more minutes to his timeout.Try not to spank he is to old for it at 5.If all else fails talk to him tell him how you feel, and how when he acts out it hurts you.When it comes to food dont give him any options, either he eats what you made him or he doesnt eat at all.

Answer 5

first and most importantly, NEVER punish your child when you are angry! if you are spanking him, it is meant to be a corrective measure, NOT taking your anger out on him. just from the tone of your question it sounds like you are at your wits end, maybe have someone else watch him for a while and cool down.
probably, he feels like the only way that he can get your attention is to do something wrong. if the only interaction you have with your son is correcting his inappropriate behavior, then he will think behaving inappropriately is the only way to interact with you. to help this, when you notice him doing something good, even if its just sitting quietly at the table, praise him. tell him you love him and he's doing a great job doing whatever it is he's doing. make a point of being nice to him - and I mean TRULY nice, not in a condescending manner. if you notice him doing something wrong, tell him to stop and correct the behavior by gently but firmly removing him from the situation. speak to him calmly so he doesn't pick up on your cues and start hitting or screaming at you. if you yell at him, he's guaranteed to yell at you. you are the parent, you be the good role model.

Answer 6

Oh girl I have the same problem with my daughter right now...she'll be five in a few weeks and she's usually pretty good but right now, she's acting out so much. I don't have a husband to help me out with discipline, so I'm feeling very frustrated because I have to be both the bad guy and the good guy. It's a hard role to play. Good luck...wish I could give you some advice.

Answer 7

it does sound mean, but I have actually heard of the water thing before. my 3 yr old got made because we told him not to come out of his room until it was clean..he was throwing things around and boke a couple of toys, I made him put them in the trash. another time he colored all over his door w/ washable crayons, I told him to clean it up and he told me no....I wanted to knock his teeth down his throat...my mom would have, but I simply got windex and paper towels, held them in his hand an made him clean the wall, he was mad, but he has not colored on the door again. when my other son was 10 he slammed his door...when he went to take a shower I took his door of and put it in the garage, I told him he could have it back when he learned to respect us and our property. I received an apology and a kiss about 3 hours later, but did not give the door back for 2 days. good luck...don't throw him out the window unless the car is going really fast(haha)

Answer 8

I don't want to be an alarmist, but if this is truly unusual behavior for your son and the usual discipline methods are not working.....well I would very carefully scrutinize EVERY person my child was coming in contact with to rule out abuse or molestation.

Answer 9

My 4 year old does that sometimes. We have to take away her toys and make her clean her room. we have also had to amke her stand in the corner with her nose in a circle. It works for us, I'm sorry I don't really know of anything else. Maybe you should sign up for Nanny 911.

Answer 10

OMG.My 5 year old is starting to tell me she hates me and talks back and just looks at me and still does what ever she is doing when I tell her to stop.I have tried corners,tim-outs,spanking and she still won't stop.I think we need to get together and make a postion that will stop it all and then we can get rich off of it and everybody will be happy.LOL!!!