i was just wondering how you guys perceive cheating... if you or your guy/girl cheats in a relationship, whose fault is it? is the blame solely on the one doing the cheating or are both to be blamed?
2006-07-24 05:27:34 · 30 answers · asked by abstemious_entity 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Depends on the situation. Sometimes, both parties can be blamed. If there's negligence, then of course someone can feel the need. But if that person never communicated, then that person was very wrong. Ignorance is bliss. If the neglected party expressed him/herself, and no change had been made, then of course the one neglecting person can cause some things to happen. Cheating is never justifiable, but it's done.
If someone cheats because he/she wants something on the side, then it's all the cheater's fault.
So again, it's all about what the situation says.
2006-07-24 05:32:32 · answer #1 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a sad statement to be in a relationship and one partner cheats on the other. Many times people perceive what they are doing as not cheating at first and then the relationship grows and ends up as a cheating one. The use of the internet is a prime example. Many people start off chatting with a person of the opposite sex and believe that this is innocent. But if the person they are talking to is also in a relationship and their spouse knows nothing of this chatting is it cheating? I would argue yes and it doesn't matter is the person is next door or a million miles away. Cheating is cheating period.
As far as who's fault it actually is it may be both partners. If a couple cannot communicate then sooner or later someone in the relationship is going to find someone with whom they can relate. I was once married and was informed by the minister giving the vows that the 4 most important things in a marrage are 1. Communiction, 2. Money, 3. Sex and 4. Communication. Communication was repeated as it is the most important thing that couples have between themselves.
With my finance I have been both open and honest about my feelings about her communcating on the internet with other men. She has heard my feelings and voiced hers. If I ever suspected that she was being dishonest then there would be a large problem. But in turn if I was to start chatting with other ladies on line then the same thing would happen - it would create a problem.
I believe that the internet is a fancinating place to visit for some quick answers. But there is far to much misinformation on it. And the fact that so many people use it as a place to talk with totally anonomous strangers is very dangerous.
I apologize for taking so long and expanding my answer. So in regards to who is to blame as your question asked I would once again say that both parties must be held accountable.
2006-07-24 05:47:42 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person doing the cheating is the one responsible for the act of cheating. Problems in a relationship are always the fault of both people, but that does not give one or the other the right to violate the other person's trust. If something is missing and a person feels the need to go outside the relationship for it the problems are merely an excuse not a reason to do so.
Either talk out your problems or realize that you don't belong together. Don't remain in a relationship simply to be in a relationship it is not worth it for either person.
2006-07-24 05:34:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the blame is on the cheater solely. Alot of people say that there is something that the partner is doing or not doing to cause the other person to cheat, but that's not true. You are in control of your body and your actions....no one else. If there is a problem in the relationship, it cannot be solved by going outside of the relationship. If you choose to cheat, then that is exactly what you have done.....made a choice.
2006-07-24 05:35:01 · answer #4 · answered by whyliebreal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have raised a great point and you question is wonderful!
Both people own blame. If the relationship got to the point that neither on was being fulfilled in some way then, it is right to make an assumption that both people are not looking out for the best interest of their partner, they are more engulfed with their self- interest.
Cheating has never resolved the issue of differences.
2006-07-24 05:37:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry only the cheater is at fault.
The other person in the relationship did not make the decision for their boyfriend/girlfriend to climb in to bed with someone else. Only one person did that and that is the person who cheated. As for both people being at fault because one person didn't meet the other person needs? BULL! If your partner is not meeting your needs, then you need to talk to your partner. If nothing changes then you need to get out of the relationship, not stick with it and then blame the other person for your cheating.
My Lord, are people that bad about taking resposibility for their own actions, that they need to stick in a bad relationship so that they can have a person to blame for doing something they know is wrong.
2006-07-24 05:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by whatelks67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, if cheating occurs it is usually always a sign that there is something wrong in the relationship. Although I am not saying its ok to cheat if there is a problem in your relationship, I am saying that there are usually many, many underlying reasons a person will cheat... and both parties in a relationship usually contribute to those circumstances.
I have never had a boyfriend cheat on me, the closest I came was finding out my boyfriend was about to cheat on me. The thing that made me the most angry was the fact that he didn't feel like he could talk to me about what was going on in our relationship. His answer was, "I feel like talking about it only makes you angry and defensive" And he was right. If you want complete honesty in a relationship you have to be able to handle the truth... and the truth sometimes is that it is Your fault.
In my years of being in relationships I have come to believe there are no liars.... just people who want to be lied to. Fact is, your partner will find other people attractive, they will think about having sex with other people. If we can all get over ourselves and our insecurites and allow each other to express those feelings (not nesseccarily carry them out), relationships might last a little longer.
2006-07-24 05:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always the fault of the person who goes through with the act of cheating. There may be other underlying issues in the relationship, but the person who cheats is the one stopped trying to make it work.
2006-07-24 05:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lubers25 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person who cheats is solely to blame. If your mate is doing something you just cannot stand, end it with them and move on. Don't stay in the relationship, cheat, and then say "well it was because he/she wouldn't do this or that for me".
2006-07-24 05:30:02 · answer #9 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the one doing the cheating is to be blamed. If there were problems in the relationship that the cheater is using as an excuse for cheating, he or she should have talked to the other about it. It was their choice to cheat.
2006-07-24 05:30:15 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋