I would like to know what to do when a six year old boy exposes himself to a 4 yr old girl. She is my daughter

Question

The boy I have known for 3 1/2 years. I would like to know if this is norm behavior or if he has been abused. He is saying my daughter asked him to do it, and she is saying no, I don't believe she would ask him such a thing.He announced that they were going to the side of our house and I was not to disturb them re: to suprise me. I had 2 windows looking over there from inside (this was in our backyard) so I was keeping an eye on them, and when my 3 m old baby woke I went to go change him and then went back to the window about 10-15 min later, he was laying down with his pants pulled down in the grass while my daughter was sitting next to him (fully clothed) I screamed (Knock it off) and then went out there and said that if he ever did that again he was not to come back, and when I had a chance to calm down I asked them both about this he said that my daughter asked him to do this I don't believe that for a moment because he is the one who said that he was going to take her over ther

Answer 1

He and she are probably both just currious about what each other looks like. However 6 and 4 are on two different developmental ages and probably shouldn't be playing so much together or alone together. It would be different if they were siblings or cousins but if he is just a neighborhood kid he needs to find other 6 or 7 yr old boys to play with. I doubt this is a sign of abuse but you may want to mention it (calmly) to his mom. I would want to know if my child had done this so that I could discuss it with him and make sure he understands that our private parts are private to prevent it from happening again.

Answer 2

Hey dont be alarmed and dont believe everything kids tell you even if its your kids. What you can do in this situation is talk to both of them and tell them that they are not supposed to do things like that.Also talk to the boy's parents about it. I would be more worried if he was a teen and she was a little younger. But at that age they might be immitating something they saw. It does not necessarily mean that he was abused. Make sure that both of them understand that they don't do stuff like that or else they wont be seeing each other anymore. Make sure if the boy is still allowed to your home that you keep an eye on him and dont let him back if it happens again.

Answer 3

I highly doubt he was abused if he was just "showing" her. This is pretty normal behavior for kids this age..."I'll show you mine if you show me yours"....Your daughter may be saying that she never asked him to do it because of the reaction that you initially had. She may be worried that you will be mad at her or that she will get in trouble. Or, he may have done it without being prompted. Whatever the case, you need to make sure that BOTH children know that neither of them are going to get in trouble, but that that kind of behavior is not acceptable. Those are private parts that are not meant for anyone else to see or to touch! Sit them down and CALMLY explain that to them "matter-of-factly" without being mad or condescending. Also, I would let the mother of the little boy know what went on, she needs to know and have a talk with her son also! Good Luck, and I think that this behavior is pretty normal around this age...kids are exploring their bodies and realizing that little girls and little boys are actually different!! =)

Answer 4

Curiosity and exploration is normal. Now if it were more frequent, it might warrant a discussion with the boys mom. One thing you shouldnt do is make a child feel bad or as if they have done something wrong. this teaches kids to be secretive with their curiosity. Then they will make it "private" and then there is more room for inapropriate things. 3 years is a developmental age for discovering differences between boys and girls. "im like daddy and you are like mommy.. see?' its normal. yelling that they will not be allowed to play together was rude, disrespectful and probably made the little boy feel ashamed of his natural desire to learn. I think this way of handling things is partly the reason why kids have sex too soon, are secretive when they do, and end up having a lot of guildt and shame about their bodies.

Answer 5

You should talk to his parents about what happened and express your concern. Be prepare; they may well have a different attitude about what is appropriate for a child his age. However, you are the queen of your castle and you set the rules for behavior in your home and any visitor should adhere to your expectations.

The boy may have seen his parents engage in "adult behavior" and wanted to mimic them. His behavior is not necessarily a sign of abuse, though. I wish you hadn't screamed at him but rather expressed your disappointment in a calm manner, telling him that his privates are his to keep private. You were right to be concerned about his intentions when he told you that he was taking your daughter to the side of the house and they were not to be disturbed. You, however, should not have allowed them to go together, explaining that your daughter had to remain within your sight. Sorry, but what were you thinking?!

I would suggest that his parents have not adequately explained the importance of respecting another person's privacy and keeping his. At his age, he should already be somewhat socialized to the differences between boys and girls simply from the fact that his school most likely has separate bathrooms for boys and girls. I wouldn't, however, give your daughter a free pass. Have you talked to your daughter about her own body? Has she seen you and your husband (or significant other) engage in sexual behavior? Has she been exposed to behaviors via television, her school mates, or from your relatives that you would deem inappropriate for her age?

Answer 6

This kind of behavior is completely normal and you have nothing to worry about. You were right to discourage it, but if it happens again, act calmly and call the boy's mom. Chances are they both agreed to exchange a look. They are so young and a lot of that goes on until they get closer to puberty.

Answer 7

Let's hope you scared the heck out of him. I'm not sure that you shouldn't check with his parents to ask them if this has ever happened before. For a 6 year old to do this, it's not just curiosity. Even if your daughter asked to see it out of curiosity, not saying that she did, the 6 year old boy should have known better.

Answer 8

You overreacted and blew a great chance to teach both of them a lesson. When you yelled,"knock it off!!' they probably had no idea what you were yelling about. It would have been better if you went to them and explained why it was inappropriate to expose their private parts to anyone, and that if they were ever asked to do so by a stranger or even a friend, they should say no and seek out an adult at once. Making them feel that they did something "wrong"served no purpose to two kids who were so young.

Have to cal them as I see them!!

Answer 9

I just found my daughter and a neighbor boy(my daughter is 6,neighbor boy 8)He had told her to lift her shirt up when they were hiding behind bushes and I heard her saying no but she did because he was all like plz,plz,so I went out thier and told that little boy never to come back over here again and that I didn't like him.

Answer 10

Talk about much ado about nothing. He's 6 yrs old, for crying out loud! Surely you can't seriously be concerned about any kind of sexual deviancy at his age! Chill out, lady, and get a grip on some reality. At 6 yrs of age, its hardly likely that anything more abnormal than just child play was at hand. Sheeeesh!