Of course every one of you heard so many jokes. some of them are good and funny, others are bad and not funny.
Tell me the best joke you have ever heard.
2006-07-24 04:26:51 · 19 answers · asked by Yahoo! Answers. 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE (LMAO) THAT WAS THE BEST JOKE EVER OH MY GOD I CANT STOP LAUGHING. ANOTHER ONE IS LARRY AND BOB
Larry and Bob wanted to go out drinking, but they only
had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have
an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and
spent the $2.00 on one large sausage. Bob said, "Are
you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!"
Larry replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."
They went into the pub where Larry immediately ordered
two double shots of Jack Daniels. Bob said, "Now
you've lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will
be in? We haven't got any money to pay for this!"
Larry replied, with a smile,"Don't worry, I have a
plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Larry said
OK! I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you
get on your knees and put it in your mouth."
Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk,
and threw them out.
They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and
more drunk, all for free. At the tenth bar, Bob said,
"Larry - I don't think I c! an do this anymore. My mouth
is sore! and my knees are killing me!" Larry said,
How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage back at the
third bar!"
2006-07-24 04:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
check this one.....
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral s e x she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral s e x she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
2006-07-24 04:33:04 · answer #2 · answered by MK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde walks into the salon wearing headphones and the hairdresser tells the blonde to take them off. The blonde wouldn't, and so the hairdresser had to cut around them. The blonde came in again the next day wearing headphones again, and she still won't take them off. The third day the blonde walks in wearing the headphones and she fell asleep, so the hairdresser removed them. A few minutes later the blonde died. What were the headphones saying?
2006-07-24 04:31:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely no longer! Here's mine: SCORPIO (The Addict) EXTREMELY cute. Intelligent Loves to comic story. Very Good humorousness. Energetic. Predict long term. GREAT kisser. Always get what they desire. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in lengthy relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.
2016-08-28 18:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Johnny was terrible at math he had flunked several times so his mother decided to put him in Catholic school. From the first day he came home went straight to his room and did his entire home work, this carried on for the rest of the year. At the end Johnny passed math with flying colours. His mother wanted to know what had inspired him. So she sat him down and asked him "Was it the strict rules?"
"No" he replied.
"Was it the encouragement of the nuns?"
"No" he replied.
"Then what was it?"
"That first day when I walked in and saw that guy hung up on the plus sign I knew they meant business!"
2006-07-24 04:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not the best, but it always makes me laugh. goes like this:
Two baby seals walk into a club.
2006-07-24 04:29:48 · answer #6 · answered by Alobar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really care for jokes. I think they are stupid and are often very old and overused. I like improv, that stuff is hilarious, like, Comedy Sportz.
2006-07-24 04:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am i never really heard a good one.
2006-07-24 04:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Douglaprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mommas so fat, instead of a std she gave me cholestoral
your momma has a glass leg and she uses windex for lotion
your mom has 1 eye and 1 leg and they call her eye drop
2006-07-24 04:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by Seven Fifty Seven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the best I've heard on here was:
Someone asked Paul McCartney if he'd ever go down on one knee again.
Paul said "Please, call her Heather."
2006-07-24 04:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by Besmirched Tea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋