Make mee laugh. put anything u think is funee.
2006-07-24 03:45:56 · 5 answers · asked by Dance Out. ☆ 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Okay... check this one
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
"What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a
very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
2006-07-24 03:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by MK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was walking down the street one day, and as I walked I thought someone was behind me as I turned to see no one was there but for some reason I could still feel a stare.
Next thing that happened was I felt something touch my shoulder and I screamed and to my surprise, there was a spider staring into my eyes.
Kinda corney but maybe you can laugh because it was corny.
2006-07-24 05:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the person that made you sad just fell in some mud with 12pigs
2006-07-24 04:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax...
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm, you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off.
No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl, but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK?!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end. (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my nether regions and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. Crap!!!
Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted! Do I hear crashing drums???
OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip, that has caused me so much pain, with hair sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. Crap!
The most sensitive part of my body, is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake................remembe... my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
NOOO!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Nether region? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off "Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing! worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her! I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH RIGHT!!!! Like I'm going to be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your nether regions covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land.
My friend is still talking with me when I discover the saving grace...the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair..........................
THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................AL... OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
2006-07-25 07:00:30 · answer #4 · answered by Imajica 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever tried masterbation? lol
2006-07-24 03:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by fakeidlol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋