It's been about 3 months. It started when I started to have problems, and eventually separated, with someone I once loved. He was twice my age, and a professor at my school. But this wasn't an issue with either of us. He was physically, emotionally, and intellectually, my ideal. We both felt this way. He asked me to marry him the first day, probably not very seriously, I said no, but it still meant a lot to me. But he couldn't be as open to me as I was to him, he told me he wished he could just fall in love with me, but he couldnt, because he was still grieving for a lost love. I fell in love with him I couldn't help it...although I knew it probably wasn't good. Now we've both moved to different cities and countries. I'm over him, in the sense that I no longer desire him. But it haunts my heart like nothing else. It's like a beautiful memory that hurts. I cut my beautiful hair, I'm unemployed, depressed and desparately want to escape! I feel like I'm wounded with no help in sight.
2006-07-24 03:08:03 · 10 answers · asked by taravachine 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I know how hard it is to escape the memories of lost love. Clearly it wasn't meant to be for the two of you. Right now you're missing the wonderful things that relationship held. You may feel it won't happen with anyone else in this world. It will.
Grief lasts longer for some people but three months is a huge control over your life. Speak not only to your doctor (if medication is comfortable for you) but find a depression hotline. Medication is not a solve-all! When you have high blood pressure, a doctor doesn't just give you meds. He suggests changes to your diet & exercise. People forget that depression isn't just an emotional condition. It drains aspects of your physical life as well. You must talk things out & expell the pain you're going through.
Keeping a journal worked me out of my depression. I kept notes of things that triggered my sadness. Pay attention to this. You may not realize that you listen to certain music because it reminds you of him. You can gain control in small steps!
We live in a microwave society that wants everything right now. I know it's hard not to want a quick change. Remember that lasting results take time. Hair will grow back. Search for a job close to home.
I wish you the best! You will overcome this!
2006-07-24 05:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by blackhalo2200 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, go to depression web sites and take the exams they provide and see if you actually do have the symptoms. If so, seek professional mental health help. Depression is treatable. But it's progressive, so you should consider acting now. There's a lot of resources. A great book is Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns, M.D. I have it on my desk right now. I've suffered from chronic depresssion for at least 25 years. Here's a list of stuff that helps: meds, therapy, exercise, prayer, talking to people who understand, like a priest or friend, eating well. Today, at least go out and take a good walk. Then pick up that book, or get it at the library. Read about the disease. Depression is not fun, but it sounds like you can get over this with some help. But take action. You gotta help yourself. Don't be passive about it.
I fight my demons every day, and recently I've been doing better. It's not easy, and it sucks. But you can get better.
2006-07-24 03:21:39 · answer #2 · answered by Steve A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As time goes by things will get better, be patient.
In the meantime...take care of yourself. Enjoy the new haircut and the new look it gives you. Do something enjoyable for yourself everyday, even if it is just enjoying the weather or taking a relaxing bath. There are good things about you and around you - take notice of all of them! Get outside and breathe the fresh air, go for a walk. Smiling often will make you feel better, honest! When you find a job, things will start happening and you will be meeting new people.
Most of all, be patient and take care of yourself.
If you find the depression is not going away, please, please see a doctor and find the help you need. Remember, it is ok to ask for help, don't be afraid to do so.
2006-07-24 03:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by sampsonsmile8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI Jae,, whoa honey,,,, dont be so down on yourself... first,,,, you need to live a little yourself.. sounds like you really have not dated that much and maybe its time you got out in the real world....
You need to ... to keep yourself going....... This man really had No business dating a student,,, it is unethical.. and he would have gotten fired if he had been found out about.... That is a definate No No,,,, not saying that it doesnt happen,,, but its not right because they know how you think.....
Also,,,, i suggest to you to go see your local doctor and explain to him what is going on..... he can prescribe you some help meds that will get you thru some of the things...... just dont forget this,,, do Not quit taking the meds,, when you get to feeling better,,,, you Still need to take them,,,,,, your Not Well !!!!!!
Go to a Barnes and Noble and check out the older men there also... they are usually well educated and lonesome also..... (trust me on this) ......
good luck.....
2006-07-24 03:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you just dont want the idea of him or someone to be with? I know the feeling. I've wished to be back with someone I knew wasn't right for me just because I didn't like being alone. If it really is depression then Zoloft works great. I've been on it for a year now. Plus I met the person that is meant for me.
2006-07-24 03:13:18 · answer #5 · answered by smalltownangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to work out one yet another lower back ultimately. A undertaking with a buffer of four people feels like a sturdy place to commence. Take your individual automobile, although, and if issues get too awkward which you are able to deal with, declare an ailment and go away early.
2016-10-08 06:32:30 · answer #6 · answered by kroner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meds, counselling, exercise, and good health. Time to take charge and change it.
2006-07-24 05:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEGIN TO REALIZE YOUR OWN VALUE......YOU CAN STILL LOVE.....BUT GO ON AND DO YOUR BEST AT EVERYTHING......YOU STILL HAVE THE SAME VALUE......AND SADNESS AND DEPRESSION ONLY PERSISTS WHILE YOU LET IT.....IT WILL JUST DRAG YOU FURTHER DOWN......YOU ARE WORTH MUCH MORE THAN THAT.....BE KIND TO YOURSELF...
2006-07-24 03:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by flowerspirit2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened..... words of wisdom that have brought me through some really tough things in my life..I hope they help you too
2006-07-24 03:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by JeNe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anti depressents
2006-07-24 03:11:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋