I have recently found out that i am pregnant with my 3rd child?

Question

I have recently found out that i am pregnant with my 3rd child, the only problem is my husband dont want it and i do! i am worried that if i continue with the pregnancy that he will hate me and reject the baby which would put a strain on our marraige and may even be the end of it. but i know in my heart i will hate myself if i terminate the pregnancy, and may end up hating him in the future which will put a strain on our marraige and may be the end of it.
My husband is a wonderful father to the 2 children we currently do have. I understand why he doesnt want me to continue with this pregnancy but at the same time i already love the baby. yes it is my husbands baby. does anyone have any advice? i would like to keep both the baby and my marraige. but i am so scared and uncertain.

Answer 1

This is really your decision but I had an abortion and regretted it for a long time. You may resent your husband for forcing you to do it. Get help, fast. This link will possibly help.

Answer 2

Hi I think you should talk to him explain how you feel, if that doesn't work tell him your prepared to try a separation cause if you have this baby all the tension and hate will boil over. Eventually you two will split up and the longer this goes on the other two children will be affected. Your hubby should realise everytime you two have sex there's a chance you could get pregnant the only way not to get pregnant is don't have sex. I do hope this all works out for you and your family. Tell him the truth hurts. Also after this baby is born if you choose this tell him to have a vasectomy or you be steralized (sorry can't spell)

Answer 3

Both of you made this baby so why are you the only one taking responsibility for it?
You're right, if you terminate, you may well carry the resentment into the future which may kill your marriage. Are there other issues in your marriage? I doubt if the number of children is your only problem if your relationship is so fragile.
The only thing I can advise is talk to your husband. Try to be calm. This baby is from and for the both of you, do your best to bring it up together.
I'm sorry this may not be much help, but good luck will be thinking about you.

Answer 4

If you have an abortion you will hate yourself and your husband for the rest of your lives. Do you know why your husband is so against you having another baby? He is being selfish, he played his part in creating this life, he needs to step up and be as good a Dad to the new baby as he is to the other two kids. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I really don't. The only advice I have is to keep your baby, explain all of your feelings to your husband, and tell him that you deserve to know exactly why he is so against having another child. And if he doesn't want any more kids, he needs to go out and get a vasectomy.

Answer 5

there is no compromising on this for you i am a firm believer in a woman's right to choose, but you have, and you want the baby. There is no way to tell how he will react once the baby is here. Since he is already a good father there is a good chance that he will fall in love with your child when it arrives. But there is a chance that he does resent the baby and it causes a problem with your marriage.
But the thing is there is just as great a risk that if you abort you will harbor anger and resentment for him, and guilt for aborting, but we know you will love and cherish the child. So have the baby, try to tell him that abortion is just not an option and you love him and need him to support you and the new baby. congratulations and good luck

Answer 6

If you knew that your husband did not want another child, why did you not use protection? But, you have fallen pregnant now, and you need to deal with it. You need to sit down with him and discuss what the options you have. Let him know from the start that abortion is not one option that you want to consider. Tell him you love him very much, but it would be unfair on him to expect you to abort your child. The baby never asked to be conceived. After all it takes two to tango, and you never made the baby by yourself, he also had a part in it, so needs to accept responsiblity in the the childs future. There are always other alternatives to abortion, like adoption. There are many childless couples, that would adopt and love your child and give him/her a wonderufl life. But the main things is that you both have to agree with the final decision, as it will affect the rest of your life. Good Luck

Answer 7

This happened to me with my first and only child. He didnt want it, I did. I kept putting off the termination until a scan date at 12 weeks...as soon as my partner so his unborn son, he couldnt bring himself to make me go through with it. 'It's already like a little person'' is what he said. Now I have a lovely, gorgeous little boy! It's always best to talk things through, but I understand how difficult this is for you. I have also had an abortion before Joshua was born, which is why I couldnt do it again. I had so much guilt for doing it, I couldnt bring myself to do it again. I felt like I was a murderer. I TOOK the pills, and I HAD TO sit on the toilet and watch as my dead unborn child was falling into the toilet to be washed away and end up in everyone's sh*t...DO NOT TERMINATE! Take it from me, it will eat you up if you do...I thought it would be easy because I had no relationship with the unborn baby, but at the end of the relationship or not, it was MY BABY and I had KILLED it...please please don't do it...

Answer 8

i think at the end of the day it is ultimately upto you what you do!! If you honestly think that you will end up splitting with your husband if you have a termination then i would not go down that road. You have said that your husband ia a great dad already, im sure that given time and when he does see your child he will love hin or har just as much as the two you alrady have.. Good luck with this im sure it will all work out in the end..

Answer 9

I agree about talking to him. You don't state his reasons for not wanting it. Is it too much of a financial strain? Do you already have no time for him?

You need to discuss this and find ways to make it right. If it is financial, sit down with him and make a plan to budget the money better.

If you don't have time for him, make an agreement that once a month you send the kids off to grandma (or someone else you trust) and spend the evening alone with him. You can go out on a date or just stay home and enjoy each other's company in peace.

I am wondering, did he make it clear that he wanted no more children after the 2nd one? If he did, then you both need to discuss what went wrong in your birth control method.

Good luck, dear. I envy you as my husband and I wanted lots of kids and God (thankfully) blessed us with one. we were never able to conceive after that.

Answer 10

daer c it from your husbands point of view.he may b upset thinking of the financial burden so he gave u the easy way out although believe me its not easy at all.be sympathatic towards him too.he cares for the family he already has and so he sugessted u so.wont u want to give ur kids the best u can afford??]
he loves his family too remember u r all he has
now thatu dont think negative about ur hubby be clearheaded.do not abort the baby and dont feel underpressure about it pretend as if there is`nt an issue.go ahead with ur baby DONT GO 4 ABORTION and stand firm i know its VERY DIFFICULT but in the end u ll be glad. who knoes what wondful fate this baby may hav
GOOD LUCK
ALSO PRAY TO GOD A LOT U`LL FEEL BETTER

Answer 11

Ask your husband if he would consider counseling with you with a pastor of your church or even marriage counseling. This might help you both and you could keep the baby. I feel that a baby conceived by two people who agreed to have sex should never be aborted. And you are right if he were to force you into an abortion it would cause the end of your relationship.