boyfriend trouble?

Question

this is my friends email ad as i havent got my own, she recommended i use it for some immpartial advice. iv'e been arguing with my boyfriend of 3 years alot recently. we live together and have plans to get engaged soon. But we can't seem to stop arguing when we're alone over silly things that become big things. i think theres a lot that we're not saying to each other and then it all builds up - any idea's how to get past this stage and back to being a happy couple?

Answer 1

It could be that maybe you've both grown apart and just haven't realized it. When couple move in together a lot of the time they feel like they have to stay together. I think you and your bf really need to tsit down and talk things out. IF you're fighting about all the little things...maybe there's something bigger behind all the little fights that you 2 are avoiding. Maybe getting engaged isn't the appropriate next step for you 2. try going back to dating....are you still going out on dates? It doesn't have to be every night. But once a week or so you should both choose something that you wanna do and go do it. try spending quality time together outside of the house. it may take a little of the pressure off of you two to always talk. Also when living with someone you sometimes feel like they are always there and you need your own space so make sure to take some time for yourself hunny. take a nice bubblebath at the end of the day or sit by yourself and read a good book...have a girlie night...do something for youself anf tell him to take time for himself also. Although it could be the complete opposite...maybe you both don't spend enough time at home. Whatever it is hun, the key to any relationship is communication. Make sure not to hold things back because it will only cause more problems later on down the road.

Hope you get back to that happy couple:)

Answer 2

YourBaby4ever is craaaazy. Actually, she's my GF :P.

Just because you argue about little things, that doesn't mean that there's something wrong. Arguing is normal, but you have to learn to let little things slide and listen to each other's opinions. I'm sure that one of you doesn't listen to the other and just gets annoyed by what the other has to say. Don't sit him down and have a long boring and wasteless talk like my GF suggests. I hate those, and they just annoy me, and it ends in an arguement. Try to talk things out a little bit at a time. For example, you realize you're having an intimate moment, then ask him a question, and only one or two, that you want an honest answer to. When he's in the mood, he's not going to twist the answer or get angry.

On the other hand, there might be a bigger problem behind all this that's bothering one of you. You should try doing fun stuff together to improve the relationship because living together is one thing, but being together is another. If I lived with a room mate, I'm sure he'd start to get under my skin in no time. Also, it may be just a phase, and you it will pass if you stick together.

Best of wishes.

Answer 3

There are so many possible reasons for this type of situation. You could read a thousand answers on here but none of them may be perfect for you because they don't know you and your situation. You have a past and so does he and it's probably those things that contribute towards this difficulty.
I am assuming you love him, other wise you wouldn't want to fix it.
If I had any advice at all, it would be to do this.

Organise an evening out to somewhere where neither of you have ever been. Preferably a relatively quiet place where you can both relax.
Talk to each other about the arguments you have. Make sure you both have your own say. While he talks, you listen and vice versa.
Then talk about why you feel the way you do when you are angry.
You wont beleive how good it is to get your point across unchallenged. He'll feel good about that too.

Finally. It's not wrong to argue. As long as you can resolve your difference's quickly. If you don't agree and don't believe you ever will then just agree to disagree.
Ultimately you are an individual and so is he. Nobody is perfect.

Answer 4

god hun I totally know what you mean! Im in the same boat with my man! i think its the time where all the newness is gone from the relationship and being honest it gets boring so we turn the smallest stupidest things into major fights.
My boyfriend and I went away for a weekend last month where we had some quality time alone - mobiles were left at home so it was just me and him - we had a lot of time to talk, and say things that needed saying - and i must say it helped alot. If weekends away are not an option for you - maybe a nice dinner with all the trimmings would suffice - candles etc? Relationships are such are hard work often I wonder would be better off without - but usually we dont - best of luck to you I hope this advice helps a bit!

Answer 5

Leave as this will get much worse when you have kids in the future. Alot of bad feelings and resentments can be built up in these arguments, and it is very likely that the guys is not telling you exactly what he feels or thinks. He might not want to upset you, but clearly something is wrong.

Answer 6

properly, perchance once you've requested him and he gained't answer, perchance because it truly is a few thing he's dealing with by myself did you comprehend of a own disaster he might want to be having? (homestead, artwork, acquaintances)?? i does no longer push, only enable it is. men do not continually demonstrate thoughts and thoughts like us. no matter if you've been fairly close, he might want to easily be having a not easy time on the different hand, perchance he's combating wanting to be out of a realtionship - possibly no longer you - yet him and his subject matters being fearful is organic; keep chatting with acquaintances and get help from others. do not push him too not easy, yet help him, no matter if the outcome isn't a courting yet a friendship sturdy success!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

You need to sit down and rationally discuss what is happening between you..I would say this is a recipe for disaster if you continue into marriage like this hun

Answer 8

Let all the little things go. If he doesn't pick up his socks or take out the garbage politely remind him of this. If you can't let the little things slide then the little things are what is going to ruin your relationship.

Answer 9

Either one of you could be feeling stressful. Just need to sit down and talk matters through.

Answer 10

You have to talk to him about how you feel and stick with him you have to work to keep the relationship going. he will understand.