im in love with my best friend?

Question

my best friend is a lass (im a bloke) and we spend so much time together and altho when i first met her i fancied her loads, we act like brother and sister and i love her to bits.
im so protective over her its mad, then recently ive realised that i dont just love her
im actually in love with her
cant tell her cos im afraid it will ruin an amazing friendship
heads a mess
help!!
wot do i do?

Answer 1

I know what you mean, but realize that you actually want the person you love to be your best friend! She may be going through the same "dilemma" about you! I say have a talk with her and let her know that you really love her as a friend with all of your heart and you would like to know if this may be a building block for something more serious for the two of you since friendship is the bedrock of a solid relationship. If you approach it this way, you have a chance of remaining friends should it not be what you expected. You will never know if you dont ask!! If you hesitate and she feels the same way - you could both be in a limbo indefinitely until one of you finds someone else who WILL take the first step. Do it!

Answer 2

Ok, here's the lowdown.
If you tell her and she feels the same way as you then all is fine. The relationship just moves up a notch!
If you don't tell her and she feels the same, then the relationship stays the same, unfortunately so do both of your emotional states. Hmm not so good.
If she doesn't feel the same way and you don't tell her then nothing has changed. Bad for you, good for the friendship!
If she doesn't feel the same and you do tell her then the likelihood is that you lose everything. This is bad. But at least your torture is over.
And hey, given time she might mellow a bit and think about it and daydream a bit, and run it through her mind a few times and then decide, "yeah - what the hell"!!
So the key here is how she feels about you. Don't ask her outright, look for clues instead! Get yourself on surer ground before making any irreversible declarations!
The last thing to realize is that you have the emotional IQ of a seven year old. All men do.
Women, on the other hand, tend to be born with x-ray vision in this department. So the chances are she already knows how you feel.
If you need a bit of dutch courage then makes sure she's had a swig too. No point in being vunerable if she isn't either.
Bottom line? You gotta tell her. Just choose when wisely.

Answer 3

My dear fellow, having been down this road before, I'm here to tell you don't do it. You have to ask yourself is it really worth it ruining the friendship if things should not work out? I ran into the same problem a few years ago with my best friend, Judy, and things haven't been the same since. We still speak but not in the same way as before. So unless you can be sure that she feels the same way in which you do, tis best to leave the subject be. Good luck.

Answer 4

I suggest that just tell her this thing becoz if she got this news from somewhere else tehn she will really get upset or may be she will think that you had cheated him in a disguise of best friend. So, just gather your courage and tell this thing to her. At last if she refuses you then at least your will not feel guilty that you had hide something from her or cheated her. Also, if she is your best friend and had mostly spended all her time with you and she is not seeking any one else then she will definitely except your proposal. So, hurry up otherwise someone else will propose her.

Answer 5

I have the same situation with a boy best friend and I just don't dare to tell him but I do feel that he likes me and people tell me that he likes me too. I'll ask him what is going on, if he likes me or not, I'm afraid that might be the way to solve the problem.

Answer 6

hey! wow i can totally see that happening. it must be pretty rough........well, i think you should just wait a while and see if she feels the same. if you find she does, then talk it over with her and let her know how you're feelin'....then you two can sort things out together and maybe you will end up with a best friend as a girlfriend!! but if you find shes not into you like that, as hard as it may be....i'd stay the way you are. cuz if you ask her out and she just wants to be friends, you may freak her out and loose he friendship. hope this helps. and hope things work out for you!!

Answer 7

DONT TELL HER!!!!!! i was friend with a bloke for years and was crazy bout him...i told him how i felt in a text message thinking that he would feel the same(after all we were flirting like mad for months) but unfortunately he told me he just wanted to be friends and now we hardly see each other anymore...just wait and see if anything just happens...let nature take its course..if its ment to be...it will be

Answer 8

I know what you mean, I had a similar situation. These things can't really clear themselves up and if you tell them it can become awkward. I think you should maybe just leave it freinds, go and get yourself a girl, and yeah if they just aren't the standard of your freind then well...I sorry I can't help you matey! I think you will probably meet a girly that is just as groovy as your freind, It always happens, try to put your mind off it and go out on the pull my freind!!

Answer 9

I advise against it matey. I know it must be agony for you, but if you tell her how you really feel, she will be very uncomfortable around in the future if she does not feel the same way. The dynamics of the relationship will totally change, and it will be irreversible. Leave it well alone, or you most certainly will lose your best mate.

Good luck!

Answer 10

This is the sweetest thing I've heard in quite a while.. Is she with anyone?? Okay so you don't want to ruin your friendship..that is totaly understandable. Does she ever flirt w/you or do anything else that hints that she may like you too?? Good luck!!