I've tried discipling my kids in every way I can think of but can't get them to behave?

Question

Is it time to use the birch? They are 2 and 4.

Answer 1

The birch is for sissies! I was walloped with a belt and locked in a wardrobe for a couple of days and it didn't do me any harm!...................who said that? Stop that buzzing - I SAID STOP THE BUZZING! Got to go now, my imaginary play-date is here!

Answer 2

It's never time to use the birch! You want to discipline your children, not punish them. Don't use time outs! Time outs are a way for you to control your child but not a way for a child to learn self-control. Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your children misbehave is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if they throw it or are destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If they make a mess, they clean it. If they break a toy, it goes in the trash. If they damage something in the home, money comes out of their piggy bank or they earn money doing things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the discipline fit the crime.

Another technique you can try when they are misbehaving is this. As soon as they misbehave, get down to their level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take the child gently by the hand and put them in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (listen, stop, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling your child). The child returns when they're ready to control themselves. You may have to take them back to the spot a few times before they get the message. Thank them when they behave. Keep it up!

Notice your children when they are not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 3

I, for one, started disciplining my children as soon as they were home from the hospital. At 2 & 4, they are not too far gone to lay down some rules.

I won't tell you to spank your kids because that is a matter of individual opinion. I spanked my children, and I have some of the best well behaved children you'd ever want to meet. People have stopped me to tell me so. They're not rowdy and when we go places, they don't cause a scene and are extremely quiet. They are 14, 10, and 4 now. They are respectful, polite, and affectionate children...they have never been violent or gotten into fights at school, and everybody likes them. We have a good relationship and not a day goes by that we don't each say we love each other with hugs and kisses. My husband has never had to spank any of them (as he left it to me), because if it got past me, they knew they'd rather deal with me ANY day over Daddy (he's 6'2" 300+ lbs; built like a quarterback!).

It's your decision what to do, but you have to (1) be consistent and (2) be firm! Do NOT give in to their crying or whining or pleading. If they're grounded or in time-out, that's where they're supposed to be. Do NOT budge on that one! If you do, they catch on to that & know that in the future, they can get away with stuff.

Go to the site below and see something really cute, and practical for your situation! Good luck!!

Answer 4

What's the birch? My kids are 6 & 4 and also can be very difficult at times, It has taken us almost a year to find something that works with my 4 year old. We started with time outs, only he would not stay in them, he would just get up and continue being obnoxious, after about 6 moths of physically holding him in the time out, he has finally stopped trying to get out, also I began throwing toys away, that works very well with my 6 year old, I say you have 5 minutes to start cleaning, if I see no results, I start cleaning, with a garbage bag....I have taken many toys and put them in the bags.....I do not throw them away, but donante them to the Goodwill....It is working.....start small and be firm....YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY! You can't give three and four chances, you ask for them to do, or stop doing something, tell them first what the punishment will be, and then if they do not comply....FOLLOW THROUGH! It has worked in our family, and our boys are much more well behaved and respectful of us...Good Luck

Answer 5

Kids are busy people. Without planned activities and structure they go nuts. If you yell a lot your kids will get chaotic. If they have too many toys they will lose interest in them. If you don't sit with them and play they will not know how. You are their teacher in all ways. Consistency is the most important thing. The parent is the one who usually fails in this. It is hard work to maintain that level patients with yourself. If they throw a toy tell them , if you do this again I will take away that toy. Then do it and keep it for a week. Do not give in when they cry for it. Sit at the table when you eat and if they do not take away their dinner and put them in their room. Tell them when they can sit and eat they can come back. Do not make special meals, give what you are eating. Time out work too if you stick by it. You will be very tired, but you will get better results.

Answer 6

My aunt did a earn all with her kids. The two year old may be two young for this. The idea is you strip their rooms of everything that isn't essential. No toys coloring books things of that nature. They keep their bed and clothes. When they are beahving they can get a toy back until everything is replaced. Once the toys are replaced if they keep acting up do it again. The key is to be consistent in your punishments.

Answer 7

2 Great book you have to read about discipline and they are a good age to start it.

1-2-3 Magic (not sure of the author)
Parenting with Love and Logic (Foster Cline MD and Jim Fay)

1-2-3 magic 1st for the discipline and then the other one for what happends after.

Answer 8

I also have a 2 and 4 year old that do not like to listen to me, I am a stay at home mom and dad is gone to work and school, they of course listen to him.. However I have found that for my son if I take away video games and computer games then that works, but I have to take them away for a week.... For my daughter, shes 2 and all I can do with her is timeout, it works occasionally but she is still at the learning stage. I have recently started doing preschool activities with my son, and this works well, he does connect the dots, matching objects with letters and learning ABC's and counting, this distracts him form things that would normally cause an outburst, TRY IT!! Good luck!!

Answer 9

The birch! Thora Birch!? Didn't she get her baps out in American Beauty. I wouldn't waste her on the kids.

Rohypnol is the way. They can't misbehave if they can't stay awake.

Answer 10

This is a classic case that every parent faces sooner or later. Sad to say, I'm a yeller which eventually loses its potency....but thank my stars, I'm not a hitter. I also had my own parents close enough to help us raise our bundles of joy which, according to a good majority of friends and parents, are developing into responsible and respecting young adults.

Answer 11

I'm curious what ways you have tried. They are still young enough to establish a schedule and structure to help them thrive or help you survive your time with them better. You also need to give strategies time to stick! Trying something new all of the time won't help. I'm fortunate my youngster responds to time outs. It is torture for him to be removed from my or his friend's attention. About a minute per year of age.