Please read this, and give your suggestions.... please help, it is very urgent....?

Question

This is the case...
One boy and girl r loving for 4 years. There is no prob in religion and caste. The boy has good respoect in the girl's house. He is like a family friend. Both r having good respect in their family. This girl is the last children of her family. The boy is the first boy in their family, has younger sister. The family depends him. The girl asked him to ask their parents for marriage. Both r 25. At that time the boy was not in a good job. He said, after getting a good job only he can think about his marriage. And he promised that she is only his life patner, and he will never think of others. After some days, the girl's parents started their work on her marriage. Now, they have one groom for her. She also tried to refuse this... But she got convinced by their parents' tears. Now she is saying, she can't do anything against their parents and she will accept the person selected by their parents. But she wants this boy, and the boy can't live without her. Your suggn pls..

Now they fixed encagement date... only one month to go.. that work is going fast.. both of them can't against parents, they want to live with their parents' blessings... they are not ready to run.. they can't accept their parents standing in shy before the society...
That boy and girl are don't know what to do.. they are in confusion... they need your suggestion.. pls help them...

Answer 1

The question they both must ask themselves is - "Did they really love each other?"

If yes, I mean "yes" means that they cant marry anyone else, they cant just think of living with some other person, cheating themselves, cheating their own souls.

Then they must not marry according to their parents wishes. HEy they will regret it later, some day the other party will come to know about this, and there may be a problem. Moreover both will not be able to love their spouse as they loved each other.

So the solution is make the parents understand. there is nothing called as society. If you love someone as your lifemate or soulmate, you are not doing a sin. So blast the soicety and go for your soul.

You dont find soulmates everyday. May GOD help them...

Answer 2

I know little about your tradtions, but I believe this kind of thing often depends on the mentality of the parents, (ie some girls get murdered for questioning their parents wishes, some get loving support) as you have only said you are both respected, not "they are moderate people" it is hard to say. I would strongly suggest talking to everyone concerned about the problem, starting with the people you think most likely to back you up. Elopement is seriously a last resort, and I think in this situation a very bad idea, but seeing as you obviously respect your parents enough to be worried, probably not one you are considering. You dont want to hurt or lose them or each other.
Sorry if this doesnt help a lot, I just wanted to offer sympathy more than anything.
If your families are very religious maybe some kind of advice from a authority figure in your mosque (Im assuming youre Muslim) would help?

Answer 3

I would say that the boy and girl should both sit down with the girls parents and talk about what's going on and how it's out of control. And I would also say that it would probably feel wonderful to have parent blessings but if the girls parents are being just plain unreasonable then they should go somewhere not far away, not too far to be contacted, just far enough to let her parents know that she doesn't want to marry the other guy and she wants to wait and marry the first guy later. I don't recommend running away because that may be the way that ruins getting their parents blessings all together. I really hope I helped. And I wish them a good life.
-Ace

Answer 4

As difficult as this sounds (because I know that this has to do with a religious arranged marriage) you have to decide: How much is love really worth to you? You have to decide whether you want to make someone else pleased at the expense of your own happiness. I really think that if you feel that you are each others soulmates, not another person in this lifetime could ever possibly make you feel the way you feel about each other, then do it. Run, and live YOUR life. This is YOUR life, and you only get one of them. If you don't living a life of regret is a long and sad one. I know that stuff like this is easier said than done. But please, don't give up on love.

Answer 5

for the girl what you have to do is to accept the person chosen by your parents since u said u cant withstand their tears nd u dont want to do anything against ur parents wish but b/4 u do that make sure dat their is love ie u love d perspn nd he loves u too if not pls tell ur parent dat u cant make it mostly 4 dat reason oky. then 4 d boy u hav seen d situation dat is not wat u belem d girl, u just hav 2 pray 4 her nd belive dat oneday u will also see someone dat will lov u ask she dose but if u can help it then look 4 money to go mary d girl bco why all dis are happning is bco u hav no good job now nd u cant marry her now. both of u should just take care ur selfs and pray dat God should direct ur ways. goodlouk 4 both.

Answer 6

they need to tell their parents about what they feel. and if the parents are truly understanding then they will be happy for their kid, and give their blessing. and to make it better the boy an girl need to have a plan that they can show to both families, that way they can prove that not only they love each other that their also pre pared to do whatever it takes to stay together

Answer 7

Marriage CANNOT be chosen by parents as they are not going to answer your misery and regrets for the rest of your life... try all means and wills to stay together. If you keep silent now, both of you will regret for your time !!! You can speak nicely to the parents and get all these work... If i am not wrong, you are a muslim right... Sigh... treasure it when u have the chance.. after one month, you are entirely gone. Take care.

Answer 8

The boy should tell his parents and the girl her parents... before the third family gets to far ahead with the arrangements of their son's engagement

Answer 9

If really love each other, try to talk to both the parents.

In case they are not ready to accept due to social compulsions, pls stick to their decision.

Don't ever think of eloping bcos as soon as you face the ground realities of real life, both of you will repent your decision.

So be sensible.

Answer 10

Well...I personally think...to have good job and settle down and then getting married is a lame excuse...if he really love her he would have marry her, works can come later...now...the only think you can do is just tell her parents that he wants to marry her...it's now or never yaar....just go for it!