Help me understand my friend's religious choice?

Question

My friend is studying to become one of Jehova's Witnesses. I am trying to understand because I love her but she isn't the same person anymore. She has changed so much that I don't even know her. Someone please, who is familiar with this religion, help me. I don't want our friendship to suffer but I am having a hard time understanding how her behavior could change so rapidly.

I try to understand by asking her questions about it but it always turns in to her asking me to go to a convention. I don't want to convert, I just want to understand so I can relate to her again.

She met this guy that she really likes, turns out he is a JW. I think it started that way, so she could "someday" be with him. But it has progressed...rapidly.

I am a female too..I do not want to marry her. I love her like a sister.

Answer 1

I spent 15 years in the Cult, save your friend before she ruins her life and turns on her friends and family.
I have seen it happen when I was in the church.
Eventually she will turn on you and if she can not convert you she will consider you dead.
That is what they teach.
They turn a blind eye to wife beaters and tell the woman to be more obedient.
They encourage child abuse and openly preach spare the rod spoil the child.
They will slowly control what she reads, the music she listens to the movies she watches weekly they discuss in the watchtower study what they should not read or is the book study when they review the awake.
Been a few years since I deprogrammed, a good JW will spend at least 7 hours per week in Church, then Saturdays witnessing, you will be one of the first people she tries to convert.
They spend weekends at local conventions and have week long assemblies that last all day long 8am to 5pm keeping them from going on vacations and keeping them indoctrinated.
believe me My mother grand mother 3 uncles all caught up in this cult now all of us are out except one uncle, who has not spoken to his own sons in 12 years because they are from his first marriage and will not join the church.
When I was a JW we referred to them as part of the world lost and dead to us and many JW will actually pray that loved ones out side "the truth" will die so they will be resurrected after Armageddon.
This is no joke this is really what they believe they are a cult and one with some pretty dangerous ideas.
Do some home work and save her now while there is still a chance.
Best of luck I hope you are able to save her.

Answer 2

You would do well to go to a public library and study the history and basic doctrine for yourself. They are very persuasive and exclusive as they first take in a convert, which is common for a cult to do and they are offically a cultic practice. They do have some strange and unusual ideations and beliefs and maintaining outside friendships of the Kingdom Hall will be hard for her to do. The more you can learn about what is taking place with her, the more you will be able to understand the behavior change and why it is happening so rapidly and why it may cause a change or end to the friendship. You are right when you say you know longer know her, because you don't. She is not the person she was prior to her associations with Jehovah's Witness. She is now limited to and oathed by the Watchtower and the consequences of disobedience have become intolerable to her. They have inundated her with such love and warmth, that as this has changed or will shortly change into dogmatic control over her personal thoughts and wishes, possibly her finances, etc., she will feel so loyal that it is beyond her comprehension that she has been and is being decieved. Your caution is that as you have seen this most negative transformation in her take place, don't become a part of the same negative transformation. Arm yourself with the truth and patiently, loving refrain from debate, contention, or trying to persuade - this will be the only way you may have a chance to eventually withdraw her from its influence. I have a dear friend who is Jehovah's Witness and as a Christian it is most heartbreaking for me. We agreed early on that this is a topic we would not discuss. I send out prayer request and he always responds that he sends light and hope, but as he does not accept Jesus as I do - he does not offend my notion to pray for me. I do pray that God will provide opportunity and wisdom for me to someday be of such influence that he can come to know the real Jesus. But it's in God's timing.

Answer 3

this is a totalitarian cult that brainwashes people.

This is a false cult that is bent on duping unsuspecting people with their version of the truth, and getting them to go door to door (slave labor) selling their materials, and giving all the money back to the Watchtower (the JW organization), which, by the way, made almost a billion dollars in 2004 (second largest corporation earnings in New York state last year).

No WONDER they made a billion dollars! All of their labor was free! Imagine how much McDonald's could make in a year if they didn't have to pay any of their employees!

They keep these poor souls so busy knocking on doors pushing the false Watchtower doctrine, that they have no time left for anything else,

. . keep them so busy studying the Watchtower materials, that they have no time to study the Bible (and study the actual context of the verses they are taught to use in trying to dupe people into becomming JW's).

They actually have to report their time (report every week how many hours they spent door-knocking for the organization), and they aren't allowed to think on their own, but are taught that "when the organization speaks, the thinking has been done"

This is very dangerous, of course.

There are some really good books out there that show how far off the JW's are from the truth and from complying with what they claim to teach.

One very good one is called, "Reasoning from the Scriptures with the Jehovah's Witnesses" (kind of a play on the name of a JW book, which is called "Reasoning from the Scriptures").

It's by Ron Rhodes, and it's devastating. If you read it, you will never become a JW, because you will know too much about them to ever buy into their false doctrines and lies.

Here's a site that is run by former JW's. People who have left the organization and are more than happy to explain why they have left.

http://www.watchthetower.com/

By the way, like any totalitarian organization that decides for you what you should think, read, listen to and who you should associate or even discuss things with, the Watchtower doesn't allow their followers to talk to people who have left.

If they did, they'd find out why they left and they'd leave to (after seeing that these people had good reasons to leave). So, to avoid opening the floodgates of people leaving, they don't allow you to talk to someone who left, or you might realize those people had good reasons to leave and you might leave too.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

Your friend has found what they think is the "answer". Unfortunately there may not be anything you can do to prevent your relationship from suffering- if this person seriously believes that becoming a Jehovah's Witness is the way to the truth, then your friendship may well end unless you decide to follow the same path.
Some people seek answers to their questions and find "insert religion here" and think they have found the one true path to God- some of them never get over the initial "change" or "awakening" or "rebirth" and friends fall by the wayside of their "discovery" of their new truth.

Answer 5

It is clear that you care about your friend, and that you miss the person she used to be. It may be that she will never be that person again, which is an idea that is hard to get used to, I know. I am a person who used to be a Witness, so I will try to help you understand.

When you study you become more and more attached to the ideas and people, partly because you spend so much time with them, and partly because many of the beliefs are attractive in this time that is full of pain, war and depression. (for example, God plans to make the earth a Paradise again, and those who deserve it will get to live there). Please understand that your friend thinks she has found "the truth", and she thinks encouraging you to explore it is something that would help you. Try to have patience and compassion for her, she is searching for something she needs...it may turn out to be right or it may be wrong for her, but we all need to fill our hearts somehow, and this is the way she has chosen. Do your best to support her, while being true to yourself. You are a good friend for wanting to understand. I wish you the best.

Answer 6

Hello, I understand what you're going through. When I started studying as a Jehovah's Witness my friend, Dona, didn't understand. She said I became nicer and she also said how it bothered her about me not celebrating holidays anymore. People in the comgregations are all very polite and mabye you should go to one of the meetings. It's just like any other church except we study a Watchtower magazine and the bible. And yes, there are most likely more canges to come in her attitude, clohing and everything. She will probably be more respectful than she is now also. Just talk to her and mabye try sutdying with her from the bible or she might be in the "My Book for Bible Studies" book?

Answer 7

To funny, it's a cult that brainwashes you. I studied with JWs for years and yet I'm still a Atheist. No People, they are just another christian group . They take the Bible to serious in some points, but really try to live by it. Learn about something before you judge it. But to your question, that might be exactly the reason your friend is acting different. In her friends eyes she is joining a" cult", because this is what giving up X-mas and Easter means in this country. She must like that guy alot if she is willing to go trough all that prejudice, or maybe she found a way to believe in "gods word" that suits her better. Let her know you respect her decision and that you would still like to be her friend. Once she feels comfortable that you will not try to turn her from her new church she should be herself again.

Just read some more of the posts you received. Trust me this comes from a person that does not believe in gods existence. They believe in Jesus as their savior. They just decided to take the pagan parts out of their beliefs. They belief in live after death , just not in heaven for everyone. And the differences in the bible are like nonexistent . I went through religion class in my native country with a JW Bible. So a lot of that stuff you will get is "Hogwash". Find out about them yourself before you go by what people claim to know.

Answer 8

Yeah, its sad, but true but once a person changes their mindset their seems to change as well and become a different person. JW like other religion do have a convincing answers for the individuals & world problems. And they offer belonging, acceptance and love. Its like belonging to the "marine corp". Well, nothing you can really do but continue to reach out and stay in touch. Good friends don't just fade away, even with the pain.

Answer 9

Well, it would be one thing to change religion, and quite another to do it for a guy. She's got two new things on the go that will suck up her time like 90. So, just accept it. Maybe if things don't work out between them she might leave it. But don't count on it. People get a bit hyped up over something new that they become involved in. Try to be happy for her.

Answer 10

My biggest piece of advice is to not tell her she's in a cult. I have found that generally this turns people toward whatever religion they are investigating. While I have never been a member of this religion, I have studied with them for over a year. There seems to be a certain aspect of camaraderie. Keep loving her, and gently pointing out the changes in your friend.