How can I control my anger when it comes to my insane grandmother?

Question

I live with my grandmother who has alzheimer's and dementia. She goes off on me alot and annoys me with hopes to make me mad. She thinks she's five or so, and I'm 17. I know I should know already how to control my temper with everything and everyone, but sometimes it seems so hard. I would never do anything to harm her, but sometimes I just wish I could put her in a nursing home, but there is no way I could ever afford that.

Answer 1

It is a human nature to have your tempers for the fact that whatever amount of understanding you want to give a room you have your own circumstances as well which changes your mood and could get irritated. Your grandma is out of a normal situation and the way she behaves is not her choice but absolutely due to her condition. You are the one in good mind so just try to tolerate as much as you can and be inspired by the thought that the care and patience you will show to her will be returned back to you when you needed later in the future.( I do not hope that you will be in such situation when you will be old but we do not know what we will be,right?) Anyway,be inspired by the saying that:"The bravest man in the world is someone who conquers his anger".

Answer 2

Hey, you're doing great, so please stay positive. Can I suggest a very crazy thing? Take a glass of water and speak very nice and peaceful things to it and ask it to remind your grandma who she is. Also, even if it's a little water, see if you can't ask her to speak to the water and say, Peace, Peace, Peace (or whatever you need for her to feel at that time - now don't get any rotten ideas, either!) and then ask her to drink it. Especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night. All Alzheimer's victims or potential victims and people who want to prevent this remember this formula. The best thing to say to the water is, "May God forgive all the sins of all believers in the hereafter." For you, you could ask the water to help you to maintain forebearance and patience. When Gran's in a better mood give her a little cuddle, too.

Sounds mad, but I don't think it's so mad.

Answer 3

You are so young to be going through something like this. Are there any other adults in your household?
call 866.232.8484. this is to the Alzheimer's Association.

You need to do a Google search for the Alzheimer's association in your state. You need to get into a support group. Also, they have a toll free hotline 24/7 that you can call and talk to someone and they can offer you advice

Answer 4

Hey Cool It
Like You Said
She Is Your Grandmother
Soo Relax
She Is Old Rite
Be Patience
Take Care
And Chill

Answer 5

Is she your main caretaker? Because if you're living alone with her (god forbid your parents are dead), she has to be mentally stable to care for you. You're a minor. You're supposed to be taken care of, not taking care of your grandma. I'd call social services. But then you'd probably be put in a foster home. But by the time you got a foster family, you'd be like 19, so you could just move out on your own. I don't know how I can help, call social services. If you're living with her and your parents, then tell your parents to put her in a home.

Answer 6

Understand that she is sick with alzheimers and dementia, understand that is what is causing her to behave like she is. Also, ask yourself, did she act like this before when you were a little kid? Give her a break, she's not going to be around much longer. Try to cope with it and understand that most of it is not personal towards you. When she's gone she'll be gone forever, remember that.

Answer 7

I'm sorry. This is a really hard one...just remember that she has probably had a hard life and how bad would it suck not to even remember the best parts of your life and be subject to the care of others (who you torment and probably don't remember). I would suggest contacted your local Alzheimer's support group...they often do free counseling and I would suggest that YOU get hooked up with them. It is really frustrating when you just want someone to function and they can't.

Answer 8

hey sweetie,
you have a lot on your plate. i would like to suggest getting on the internet or going through the doctor who sees her and getting information on groups that meet for the caretakers of such ppl. it sounds scary i know but there are other ppl who deal with the same thing and they can help give you ideas on how to handle situations. like survivors of sucicide have many groups to help them cope, so do adult children of alcoholics and there is alanon for the family and friends of alcoholics. there are also groups where ppl meet who take care of or are in direct contact with ppl who have dementia and alzheimer's

as far as already knowing how to control you temper, how the h#@* could you? anger is an emotion that covers up deeper emotions. if you are angry, try to look beyond the anger, deeper into the young person inside who is broken hearted b/c one of the ppl she loves and depends on can't take care of herself, b/c all of a sudden you must reverse roles and become the caretaker and its just not fair. (and by the way, it is OK to feel this way, you didn't ask for this to happen to your gramma, it isn't your fault and you are struggling just to manage yourself)

i pray that you find comfort in knowing that God put you here, now to care for your gramma, and even though you get angry and hurt, He believes you are the best person to do this.

if you ever want to chat, email me
lifting you on eagle's wings,
lily

Answer 9

listen I'm 17 too and I lived with my grandmother for about 2 months with her until she died about 2 1/2 months ago because of emphysema.. anyway she made me mad sometimes because she was mad at everything because of stress and the fact that 89 year olds don't have much patience. but she was one of the most precious people I ever knew and will ever know she was my rock, she paid for my school tuition and did everything she could for me because she loved me, but she did things that made me mad too like I wanted to stay out late on my prom night but she wouldn't have it and I was mad but it turns out she made one of my favorite memories with her I wont tell you because its personal but because I would have to act it out in person.. but anyway my point is don't worry about stuff like this, enjoy her quirks and forgetfulness(Alzheimer's) If she makes you mad just remember it could end tomorrow. So love her and give all the hugs in the world because God knows I don't wish I could have another prom night I wish I could have another day with my Grandmother.

Answer 10

If she has Alzheimer's, you may have no choice but to put her in one. Eventually, the disease will make it to hard for you to take care of her. I would check with the county health dept. on this one or one of those types of agencies. My friend's father had it and they eventually had to put him in a home. But they put his house and other assets in the daughter's name so the home could not take them away from the mother. They got the fee paid by some county dept.