GIRLS i need ya Again. . . guys welcome also. . .?

Question

there's a girl i really really like i met her online on yahoo messenger she lives in Pennsylvania and i live in Illinois my sister is moving to Pennsylvania so ill be able to see her some day soon but up til now i still have no idea what she looks like. . . we've never met and she asked me a question. . . THE question. . . ya know the one the guys usually get on their knees and ask the women? Well I'm 17 and she's 16 i said i wasn't planning on gettin into that until i was out of college and had my life a little more intact . But My question is where do you all think its gonna go from here... serious answers plz

Answer 1

Dude, you are only seventeen. You have your whole entire life ahead of you. Speaking from experience, more than likely you will probably date for a while, then you both will eventually meet other people and move on with your lives. I was a teenager once and I have been in many relationships where I thought "she is the one". Being realistic, you haven't even seen her yet. If you have been trying to picture in your mind what she looks like, then you are in for a rude awakening , because she is not going to look no way near what you are expecting. And as far as marriage goes, don't even think about it. Neither one of you are ready for it. Trust me. There are people who are in their late twenties who aren't mature enough for marriage. It is a lot of work and a lot of committment. Even if this young lady were to be everything you ever imagined, and lived next door to you, there would still be greater than a 95% chance that you would not get married. It's okay to be friends and attempt a relationship but don't get to carried away and don't rule out dating other people. This is the Cave Man signing out. I will be pulling for you.

Answer 2

Read what you wrote....you're just teenagers, you have no idea what she looks like, you live states away, and she just asked you to marry her over the internet!! Red flags, please??

You obviously care about this girl. Attraction is a big factor in a relationship. Seriously. I know that may seem shallow to say, but it is the truth. If there is no attraction (or even worse if you're revolted) then the relationship is not going to work. And over the internet...you never really know if someone is telling the truth or not when they merely give you a description of themselves. I could tell you I'm a supermodel and you wouldn't know any different. Some sort of verification would be good...if I was in you shoes, I would want it. Why can't she mail you a picture or you could call her instead of talking over the internet....

I've had online relationships, so I can tell you from experience, usually the image that has been created online of this person is not matching of the person. This is not true all of the time...but most of the time. Your imagination is always better than the real thing. It just seems odd that she would ask you to marry her sight unseen. Would you buy a car you hadn't seen yet just b/c the dealer said it was a hot ride? Think about this. And whatever you do....whether you see her or not...just take things slow. You're young...there's no reason to rush.

Answer 3

I'm all for the big 'M' for everyone, especially if true love is involved.

Regretfully the concept of actual contractual marriage to someone that I"ve not only never seen, but never touched, is just a little off in my opinion.

I know that it's not very traditional of me to say this, but I think that two people that love each other should live together for awhile, at least 6 months and possibly a year. This gives you an idea of what the other person is like, the things you like, the things you don't like. Since you can't change others, you would need to decide if you love the person even through the things you call faults.

I most certainly feel that you should meet this woman first, get to know her in person, and then make a more informed decision.

Good luck to you.

Love as always,

Sebastian

Answer 4

It's definitely too early to get into that kind of commitment. You are right about that. So follow your instincts on that.

Now to answer your question, I think that it could possibly lead to something. But right now, you haven't even seen her, so you don't know if she is for real or not. That is something else to consider. Although the majority of people online are not lying about themselves, there are still those who do. So be cautious, especially at such a young age (well, young to me).

Tell her you would like to slow things down. That you're not comfortable talking about marriage and that sort of stuff. Keep it at a less involved stage. I mean, you should talk about going on a date- that kind of level. Am I making any sense?

If you both continue to build your relationship and keep it a healthy one full of love, honesty, trust, respect, communication, all the 'real' important things, then it could turn into something serious in the future. Long distance relationships can work, but they take more work than a regular one. It will be a pain at times, but that's what love is about... working through problems.

If she tries to rush things, if either of you end up rushing things, I don't think it will go anywhere but downhill from here. So if you keep things rational, then you guys might have something later (much later) in the future.

Answer 5

Maybe it's love. But I seriously think this is something that can wait. Marriage is a BIG commitment. You both need to get out and get all what life has to offer. The last thing you want is to later on discover that marriage was not the best thing to rush into. Have fun and enjoy your younger years! Plan to get married once you're settled and have a stable tife style. I've been there, got married when I was young and had a child. I don't regret anything. But I would wait till I was older if I could do it all over again.

Answer 6

hey im not a girl but im going through the same thing. the thing might be for her is the thought of how much she will be able to see you. If you really like her and she has the same feelings back it might be out of pure desperation so that you two will definately be together. It all depends on your feelings really and what you think. If you really want to be with her, take the "question" as something that will garauntee it rather than a life changing question. Just because she asked doesnt mean you have to get married soon...its the sense of security, I'm sure, that she sought for when she asked

Answer 7

Seriously, I'm 16, and I sure as hell wouldnt marry someone. Not at this age. For pete's sake, you don't even know her that well, so don't say yes. Do what's right for both of you. She's a horny 16 year old girl that thinks she's found the person she wants to be with for the rest of her life. I would strongly recommend against it if you plan on living your future out the way you want it. It's only gonna cause more problems dude.

Answer 8

Does this girl have her father in her life? She's moving too fast. I mean it's natural for a girl to ask herself if she can see a future with a guy. But at that age it just isn't appropriate. She has some deep seated issue that needs to be addressed if she asks you to marry her so soon. You have alot of time for love and marriage but right now you should enjoy dating, that way you can learn what you want out of a relationship. It's all about trial and error. When you meet that special girl you will know it. The fact that you have doubts says to me that you don't want what she wants and you need to be real about that regardless of consequences. relationships are hard and marriage is even harder. A kid your age should not be thinking so seriously especially if you don't understand the nature of relationships and people. it comes with time and soon you will learn. But tell home girl to cool her jets. If she truely cares she will undertsand that you want to make the most of yourself as you grow so you can offer her all that she wants and more.

Answer 9

I think it will go nowhere. You're right to trust your instincts. There's a whole lot to experience in the world before settling down with someone. She probably has an idealized view of you as her knight in shining armor; as nice a person as I'm sure you are, you can't be perfect. She's probably lonely (it's summer, no school, etc.) and was thrilled to meet a nice guy like yourself to chat with.
I would tell her exactly what you wrote (you're not ready for that stuff) and that you just want to be friends for now. You don't want to give her false hope or make her think you'll visit every weekend or anything like that. Good luck!

Answer 10

Both of you are too young to even think about marriage. You and she will change a lot in the next couple of years. And if you don't know what she looks like and have never met, you can't possibly be in love. On top of that in most states, you are too young to get married right now and since you have to wait anyway, just take it really REALLY slow and enjoy each others friendship. If it's meant to be, it will happen!