how can i make my 3 yr old<verrrrry shy> son confident?

Question

he just shy and hesitate with people and don't wanna talk to any stranger or relative i want him to be a verry confident and bold boy pleez help

Answer 1

Display your verbal abilities & willingness to talk to the person! Kids take to the "Don't talk to strangers!" thing from birth!

Interpersonal skills are ingrained as well as learned behaviors. If your kid can see that you are talking, they are more apt to join you! Try to be creative with your conversations with friends & family in an attempt to get your child to join in. Let your child know that it is ok, even great, to be creative in his responses. When we need creativity most, we tend to be in an emotional state where our creativity is least accessible. Fear & stress activate the limbic system at the base of our brains. This activation shuts down the cerebral cortex, where creativity & problem-solving live.

Show your child that everything in the situation is ok & that they should feel free to interact. I suggest trying meeting games, such as: Hello, I am _____, nice to meet you! Then work on the appropriate response.

Most of all, be patient, creative & loving! These are the key ingrediants to overcoming shyness.

Answer 2

This may seem like a strange response, but stop saying "Good job!" You need to use intrinsic rather than extrinsic motivators. Say things like "You did that by yourself! Look how high you climbed! You used so many colors on that picture!" These phrases are great confidence builders.

Don't label him as "shy." This will put him in a box that will be hard to climb out of. Consider him "slow to warm up." Shyness is part of his temperament. You cannot change a child's temperament. If he is extremely shy, he will most likely always be she. I was a shy child and am a shy or slow to warm up adult. My husband was a very outgoing child and is a very outgoing adult.

It may help if you put him into a preschool program to practice his social skills. I teach preschool and have had many shy children who come out of their shell after some time in school.

Before you have a person over or are visiting someones home, talk with him before it happens. Say to him things like "Emma" would love to see your new truck. What can you tell her about it." or "You can tell "Emma" about our trip to the zoo. She'd love to hear about it." Do some role playing with him. It will help him to feel more confident and more able to open up. Good luck!

Answer 3

Isnt it too early to be so scared of your son? He is looking at the world right now like a gold fish through a fish tank. He will gain confidence in time when he knows exactly what he wants. In the meantime treat him well nutritionally and make sure he gets his diploma, degree, etc. He will be what you'll teach him to become. Dont panic at least and put him in the spot or he will blame you for that. Sorry for being so brash but its a reality and verRRRy normal....if he's way too off in personality then use your best judgement and try behavioral theraphy.

Answer 4

First of all, being shy maybe a part of your son's personality. You shouldn't push him too far. You should never punish your son for being shy. This includes scolding him for not talking to others when he is spoken to. This will have the opposite effect and he will become even more introverted. Especially never, ever punish him in front of other people. It's normal for a child to be shy around others. Try reading about Erickson's stages of development.

Answer 5

Well, there is a slight difference between lack of confidence and shyness, just as there is a difference between arrogance and confidence. Is your son just shy? Or does he lack self-esteem?

If he is shy, make sure he is accustomed to being around other children his age. Take him to the park and encourage meeting new friends.

If he is lacking in self esteem, find something he does well. Maybe he likes to draw or paint, maybe he has good hand-eye coordination and would be good at catch. Simple skills that he has mastered will make him feel good about himself. Have him practice it, tell him how well he does it.

Answer 6

1st off he is going to be who he is going to be, you can't "change" his basic personality. The best way to build confidence in a child is to love them unconditionally. Trust him to make choices about who he wants to warm up too. My daughter is very shy, my son very bold...same mom, same dad, same parenting. Its just who she is...Don't worry about people who take it as a personal insult when your child doesn't respond to them the way they think they should...that's thier issue. Preschool, or playgroups are a great safe way for your child to be exposed to other people, and learn about how he can interact socially. Some children are so busy being bold and confidant, talking and interacting that they have a hard time learning in a classroom, or making good friends.
Love him! thats all you can do.

Answer 7

you dont want him to talk to strangers ....my daughter is 4yrs old and she is very friendly w/ strangers sometimes too friendly and i am teaching her that she should never talk to a stranger and why she shouldnt as far as with realitives just take him around them more let him get used to them ..but kids can sense a good person and also bad so if he doesnt want to talk to a person maybe there is a reason

Answer 8

Use games and play that allow him a chance to succeed (don't let him win, but make it something he can handle), and when he does, praise him for his success...he will like this and strive to win the praise in other areas as well...but don't just let him win...he has to earn it; it is a good lesson, even at that age.

Answer 9

every chance you get talk to him, about anything and everything, also, enroll him in a pre-school, or day-care centre and he will get used to being around a variety of people - even try a "mummy and me" sort of environment where you will also be there as a familiar for him to be with if it gets too much for him to handle.

Answer 10

make them do things they don't want to do. my 3 yr old daughter just got over her fear of boating today because i made her get in the boat and take a ride. after the first ride, she didn't want to get out. your the ******* parent, step up to the plate and start swingin'