Bedtime issues with a 2 1/2 yr old. PLEASE HELP!!!?

Question

My son is 2 1/2 years old. We got him a toddler bed for his birthday back in Feb. He has done great in it, but for the past couple of weeks, bedtime has been hell! We used to put him into bed at 8:30pm, he did great. Maybe got up twice. Well, we had to take his naps out (he took 1 nap around noon) because we noticed the days he napped, the harder it was to get him to go to bed. Well, even without naps, bedtime is hell. We lay him down, read him a story, and he is up once we leave the room. He doesnt want us in there, he just wants to be up. We've tried just repeatedly laying him down without saying anything to him, doesnt work. His bedtime is 7:30pm now, but average time he finally falls asleep is 11pm, so you can imagine the night we have. He will be totally dead tierd, practically falling asleep, but wont stop getting up. Doesnt matter what we say or do, he just keeps doing it. Its soo frustrating some nights. Any advice?????

i dont believe letting a child stay up entil THEY feel it is time for bed is the right thing to do. Im not going to let my 2 yr old stay up because he wants to be a night owl. He needs his sleep. No matter what time he goes to sleep, hes up every morning at 6:00am! Its a LONG day for him. AND ME! LOL...

ok, know more about kids then I do?? By making my son go to bed, ah yes is controlling BUT HELLO!! he is 2 yrs old. Hes not a teenager wanting to go out all night. Children need a routine, they need a schedule, they need to know what to expect! I think you need to HAVE a child and realize what its all about before you say things like that.

and why does it matter if im white or not? and no, im not white... are you?

Answer 1

You poor dear! We just went through this with our two year old.

First, I would say that if he is used to taking a nap - keep the nap. At this age it is probably okay to give it up if they can make it through the day with having an evening meltdown (mine can't) but if he's already used to having a nap don't chuck it. It might be that by chucking the nap he's getting over tired.

Second, establish a routine! You may already have this but the routine is a make or break point at my house. When we break routine (as you must do at times) bedtime is a nightmare! Here's our bedtime routine. First we do bathtime, during which the non-bathtime spouse gets ready stories, snack, cold sippers, and pj's. When the girls get out of the bath they get on their pj's, have a snack and then we read their stories. In the beginning stages of starting out the routine we lowered the lights and played soft music to set the idea that we were calming things down and getting geared for bedtime. We don't do this anymore unless they are really rowdy. After stories we go potty, feed the fish and tuck in. Thats it. We do this every night.

Third, getting enough active play during the day. I have found that for both of my girls if they don't get atleast one hour of active play, usually at the playground or in the pool then they just don't seem as tired during the evening and it is harder for them to settle down to rest. Usually, I keep in mind that even if I don't feel like taking them out to play it will make the rest of the day much better if they get their exercise. (My goal is always to tire them out!)

Fourth, teaching him to stay in bed. This was the hardest and most heart breaking part. We tryed so many different way to teach her that she had to stay in her bed. Ultimately, we ended up sitting in her room one the floor, we would completely ignore her and make no eye contact but as soon as she got out of bed we would get up and put her back and say it is time to go nite-nite, please stay in bed, give her a kiss and sit right back down. If it dragged on to long we out ditch the nite-nite speech and just lay her down. Most importantly - STAY CALM! I'd sing songs or say nursery rhymes in my head. You can stay until they are asleep if you want, usually I'd leave after awhile and hope it worked. Sometimes it would and sometimes we'd be back in 30 seconds - starting over. But after a couple of weeks she knew that bedtime meant staying in bed. Also, do this is shifts or take turns with your spouse if you can - so that when you get too wound up & frustrated and can't do it any longer you can call for backup. Now when she gets out of bed know we take away her lovey and tell her to get in bed and she can have lovey back. She always goes right back to bed now.

Fifth - reward him for the good behavior. My two year old loves to put stickers on her reward chart. She gets sticker for listening, sharing, helping, going to bed "like a big girl", going potty - you get the idea. It is great tool for encouraging them to practice good behavior. Our current rewards chart is vines with 10 leaves on each and we have little lady bug stickers to put on the leaves. She gets a reward when she reaches the top of a vine.

Most importantly - remember this is only a stage and to keep your cool. Staying calm and breath! Don't be afraid to call for backup!

Good luck!

Answer 2

my daughter had her moments too, it will take a little time, lot of patience, and a great sense of humor. First of all no nightlights, if they can see they toys they play with the toys. Finally I had to put a child lock on the inside of the door, so can't get out on own, just have to sit in the dark. Let them throw a fit if thats how they feel, but DO NOT under any circumstances give in and go in there. Its all about attn. if you give it then they continue. Now my kids go to bed a 730 turn their music on say prayers and are out by 735. If nothing else works bring back the crib for a bit. If he wants to be a big boy in a big boy bed he has to act like one. Good luck

Answer 3

NANNY 911!!
Keep putting him back to bed 100 or more times per night, after the second time, no speaking at all. not one word. Also get him up in the morning at no later than 8 am. It will be a hellish few nights maybe a week. but if you do it the same way every time every night, you will prevail. The absolute must is that you be consistent. do not change the bedtime habit for any reason for a year or more, or you will be back to the beginning. Not for any reason.

Answer 4

A lot of children and parents struggle with bedtime issues! Don't let anyone make you feel bad, but it is best for both of you to get control of the situation now.The best book I ever read on this situation was one called. "Healthy sleep habits, happy children "
but a Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He talks about how habits through out the whole day effect sleeping at night, Its hard to make the change, and it will be a battle but the rewards are great in the end. A happy , healthy son and a well rested,happy mom!

Answer 5

He needs a nap around 1 or so. depends when he gets up. But he is over tire that is why he won't go to bed. Wants to play probly. Is there anything scareing him at night. Try a little night lite , or just turn off all lightes but don't close the door. Put him down about 8 . good luck. Pem

Answer 6

Number one, consistency Mom! Try to get him wound down about an hour before bedtime, a warm bath even with the new baby soap with lavender to use aromatherapy, a glass of milk, and set the mood in the house so he doesn't think he's missing out on something else going on in another room. He's playing it now, its a game to him. Change the rules, even for 2 weeks and see if it doesn't change. Remember, YOU are the parent. Good Luck

Answer 7

Sometimes you might have to just close his door and let him throw a fit... I'm not an expert... because my mom would only hafta say "No bedtime story unless you go to bed" and I would be laying down instantly... You could also try going to bed at the same time as him so he'll know you aren't up and shutting your door.

Answer 8

Be absolutely firm. Tell him he needs to stay in his room, and if he doesn't, there will be consequences. If he wakes you up, find some way to make how frustrated you are with him stick. It's an issue of respect.

I take it you aren't believers in physical punishment, but when I kept waking my parents up and received the "stay in your room, or we'll rectify the situation" warning, one swat on the butt was all I needed to be convinced to stay in my room.

Your son is old enough that he should listen to you and sleep through the night. Bathroom trips are one thing, but waking up purely for the sake of waking *you* up is entirely unacceptable.

Children can be exhasperating and frustrating, but according to all the parents I know, the return love and watching them grow up is worth all the aggravation. Good luck with your darling boy!

Answer 9

The only reason you are frustrated is because you expect your child to be on a clock. You son is what is referred to as a "Night owl". You're putting him to bed to early, stop. If he gets up and wants to play quietly in his room let him...when he gets tired he will fall asleep. You are making the entire thing so stressfull that he CAN'T go to sleep until 11:00 pm...

Answer 10

His routine is off right now.
be consistent. the new routine of no naps and early bedtime will kick in...
do you have a cd player in his room? maybe get a relaxing cd (enya, yanni, etc) and play it ONLY at bedtime. it could be one more cue that it is time to go to bed. when he hears the music, he will remeber that it is bedtime...