What started out hooking up for casual sex. After starting to have feelings for each other, I was afraid it wouldn't last so I probably pushed more than I should have for a committment. He pulled away saying he was never wanting anything serious. I freaked & went over the top yelling at him. I appologized for it, but the damage was done. He had told me he was going to back way off, he didn't say never again.
He went back to living with his sister. We spent last weekend together as friends, but we still slept together once. He didn't seem to want to the rest of the weekend. Otherwise, we got along great & had a wonderful time. He's a good guy & we have done much more than just have sex. We connected on many levels, more than he ever has he told me. He's had a rough past w/relationships & has had a lot happen this past year. I know we made some mistakes & put pressures on ourselves as a result. We moved too fast. Is it possible he'll want to date or should I forget it? Too much past?
2006-07-23 18:44:56 · 24 answers · asked by beautiful disaster 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's not a user. I saw him on the inside. He opened up and showed me. I've had guys who only wanted sex who I never wanted anything with after we parted. This guy is different. If it weren't for both of our fears, we could have something wonderful.
2006-07-23 18:54:36 · update #1
Been there worked out for me. You gotta insist on a 1 on 1 conversation to be totally honest and lay it all out. Ask him if hes scared? why? what can u do to help with the fear? Sound like hes diggin on you but doesn't want relationship problem like in his past. this conversation should be broad day light in a park completely calm so if tension does rise either of you can walk away.the fresh air will help keep both calm and honest.
Good Luck!
2006-07-23 18:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by JaidenLucas Kody H 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Go back to the first sentence in your explanation.
That's the whole basis for your relationship. Since you chose to start that way, anything you have from here on out will be developed through that context. You didn't "move too fast", the whole point of the relationship to begin with was easy access to physical pleasure.
You can try to develop feelings, but they cannot become the bedrock of what you two have together. Your foundation is superficial, therefore, no matter how much you try, your home base for this relationship is superficiality.
If you really, really like this person, do what he suggested; back way off. Come back in about 6 to 8 months, and see if he's interested in establishing something SANS sex. If the answer is yes, you have a chance at making something real with him. If no, you're right back where you started.
2006-07-23 18:53:22 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
casual sex and serious relationship are two diffrent subjects. two sides of the coin although it is complementry objectives are diffrent .
looks like u were hoping to develop a casual relationship into a serious one and it just backfired heart to heart what u want is a serious relationshsip and not a causal one .
now that the mistake has been done and the damage caused back off wait for it simmer hope it will bounce back take your time .
if it does not work backoff leave it alone and hope the sun will rise again in the east another day another time another man and life goes on .
relax mediate and live life all over again.
cheers
2006-07-23 18:59:51 · answer #3 · answered by birdbrain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys both sound pretty chaotic. I don't think you can start off in a relationship that's exciting and risky and then flip a switch and make it stable and lasting. You might want to build other kinds of intimacy and then have sex. In a casual sex situation you have already set boundaries that negate all other forms of intimacy, you implicity accept reciprocating ignorace of eachother's emotions. That's a tough contract to renogociate when finally wise up and want something more substantial than a fling.
2006-07-23 18:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by Bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it. Leave it behind. Get out of each other's lives.
Leave the door open only enough saying that he can contact you in a year or two, provided he is ready for a relationship and is interested in you. Then leave him behind and go on with your life. If you are still available at that time and are still interested in him for a relationship, he may contact you or not.
That way it will be a nice suprise if you are and it works out. If not, it was not meant to be and you will leave him behind.
Remember, if it comes back it is yours, if it doesn't, it never was.
2006-07-23 18:56:37 · answer #5 · answered by blue_eyed_soccer_player 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was still having casual sex, and you were falling in love.in your mind it was mutual, but in reality it wasnt..you knew what it was, you pushed for more and he is out the door, of course he will hang out with you if he can still have sex once in awhile..there is nothing better to a guy than a girl he can bang regularly w/o commitment
2006-07-23 18:51:06 · answer #6 · answered by vincenzo445 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy crap! That's messed up.... It sounds like maybe he wasn't the one who was having these "deeper feelings", ya know? And, in my opinion, I'd say as a general rule, if you start as a booty call, you'll end it as a booty call.... Don't put yourself out there so much! Why do you need that? Be proud of yourself and what you can offer a REAL man....
2006-07-23 18:49:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answer your own question with the first sentence. "We met wanting casual sex" Why should he want the tree when the apples are free from another tree and he doesn't have to clean up the spoiled ones.
2006-07-23 18:51:39 · answer #8 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he always had u as the hole he needs! sorry
now try to show him u r more than that he never noticed ur other sides u were always there when he needed sex thats all now let him see the sides he wants and needs in life and in a gf and a lover!
go for it!
2006-07-23 18:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you guys had fun as just being friends. Dating may cause to break-up and lose your friendship you had before dating. But if believe you can do it, i say go for it.
2006-07-23 18:47:58 · answer #10 · answered by Sharpies123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋