I dated this guy last year for 2 months. We had talked for a while before that and I fell in love. He told me he had too. We broke up because distance became an issue but remained friends. We stopped talking for a while but not intentionally. Time went by and we started talking again. We had sex. And he was my first. And he told me that he had sex 3 times before me with 2 different girls before me. Then I found out that he had sex 4 different times with 3 different girls (not heresay, he told me). This makes me feel like crap. I don't know what to do. I want to be his friend. But then again I don't. I feel so decieved by him. Like I've been lied to through everything. I gave him my all and tried to work things out, and he wants not a thing to do with me. When I call him or text him he doesn't feel like talking. He said it's because he doesn't want to get old feelings back. I guess my question is: is it right for me to feel decieved by him? That all he ever wanted was one thing?
2006-07-23 18:32:59 · 17 answers · asked by country_comfort16 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We've known each other since we were babies. then stopped talking. Then started talking as friends for 2 years.
2006-07-23 18:39:33 · update #1
It sounds as if you are confused and so is he.
You have a right to feel deceived because initially he didn't tell you the truth about his previous relationships. However, it doesn't seem as if he did it deliberately to hurt you or because he just wanted 'one thing', but more out of a sense of his own confusion.
Your best bet might be to just back off right now. Give him some space so he can try and figure things out...and in the meantime, you do the same. Given some time to think, you may decide you're not as interested in him as you thought you once were.
You'll find that as you continue dating, that sometimes guys just aren't very good at handling certain types of relationship situations. Often they send out mixed signals that are confusing.
Unfortunately, when it comes to breaking up with a girl, most of them handle it the wrong way...
either by lying to the girl,
by not calling when they promise to call,
or just not returning phone calls,or making up excuses for any number of things.
That's just their way of trying to squirm their way out of what has become a sticky situation for them.
Once you both have things sorted out, you may find that you actually like each other better as friends.
2006-07-23 18:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by DG 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Obviously I don't know the guy or any more details about the situation...but yeah. You were a little bit too trusting. It hurts but just stay away from him. Just because you're a nice person doesn't mean that everybody else has such good intentions. Next time keep an eye out for signs.
2006-07-23 18:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by happyfarah88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have the right to feel decieved. Take this as a lesson learned and be careful next time.
2006-07-23 18:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by chicago80boi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life isn't always fair. if there is no way to get this close to him again - get over it! move on and keep the memory of the wonderful experiences you had. and in the future: treasure every moment, always give your best, that way you can always be sure, that there was nothing you could have done better and you will come to realize that there's other guys that know how to appreciate the love they receive.
2006-07-23 18:42:45 · answer #4 · answered by baerchen80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boys are jerks honey...u have these feelings just b.c ur first sex was with him...and it's natural to be deceived by him...but try to ignore him and DONT CALL HIM...u won't be close friends anymore...try to move on...that's the only thing that makes u enjoy ur life!dont waste ur time on him just b.c u had sex with him and dont blame urself for loosing ur virginity to him cuz u made a decision in that moment to have sex with him...u experienced this...use it for ur future...dont have sex before u know the guy you're with! don't give a damn **** to him that he only wanted u for sex....forget him...move on...u deserve more!;)
2006-07-23 18:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by /\/ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hes telling you how he feels by ignoring you, but hes trying to tell you it in a nice way by saying that he doesnt want old feelings back. you do have the right to feel deceived because he fukced you over
2006-07-23 18:36:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you shouldn't even be friends with that guy. There are a lot of guys like that in the world. Don't get tricked by them.
2006-07-23 18:36:25 · answer #7 · answered by Sharpies123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you have the right to feel that way... he is a loser.. you should stop texting and calling him and hang out with the girls for some girl time and give yourself time to heal
2006-07-23 18:36:37 · answer #8 · answered by brenda4ever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should feel deceived by him because I believe you were.
It's okay though. Most people end up deceived sooner or later. Maybe better sooner or later though? :/
I'm sorry to hear it though. Don't worry about him. He's old news.
2006-07-23 18:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by xxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that the one thing he wanted wasn't what you think.
It's possible that what casue your break up, was a disagreement that never got resolved.
2006-07-23 18:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋