What do my nosy relatives who upon meeting me ALWAYS ask why you are not married yet?

Question

I am soooooo sick of hearing this question. As if marriage is the be all and end all. Getting married is the simple part. Finding a a life mate you adore is the hard part. No matter how many times I explain this to my Italian relatives they think I have something wrong with me i.e. loser. How do I shut them up once and for all repectfully of course?

Answer 1

Marriage is the be all and end all for them. It's not for you. You need to respect their view and they need to respect yours. The next time they ask "the question", just say, "I haven't found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Period. End of discussion.

Answer 2

Ask them how come they're always complaining about their mate. I really don't know very many married couples that don't complain about each other.

The world is grotesquely overpopulated so why get married and contribute to the downfall of humanity?

You could ask them if that's the only thing they can ask you. I have a cousin that only asks about my family (who I don't talk to) but never asks what I'm up to and I have a far more interesting life than the others. Besides, if she wants to know about them, she can call them and ask!

You could also point out that the social model of life they bought into isn't the same one that you live by. They probably believe that a man should give security to a woman, which is fine, but how many women work to help make ends meet? How good a job are those men doing in the first place? All the old-fashioned reasons for a woman to get married 50 years ago are gone. Women do not need to be married to have a fulfilling, successful life. Why would your relatives want so much less for you?

Well, as you can see, I occasionally get asked this same question. Sometimes I tell them I'm just too fabulous for an average man. And there are so few men that come up to average, it's even more rare to find an extraordinary one.

If nothing else start crying and carrying on about how this guy didn't work out and that guy didn't work out and you feel cheated etc... Start a scene and they'll never ask again.

Good luck on your mission.

You might want to check out the website quirkyalone.com.

Answer 3

You could always say "Because I'm a homosexual" or "Because I can't choose between my 3 lovers" or "because I'm so ugly and stupid that nobody wants me" or "Why haven't YOU lost 50 pounds yet?" or something snotty like that. But better not.

This is the grown up version of the hated "So, how does it feel to be in the forth grade?" Since these are relatives, you respond to their rude silliness with grace and tact. Say "Aunt Lydia, if I get serious about anyone, you'll be the first to know, OK?" over and over and over until they are as sick of your ritual response as you are of the ritual question. Refuse to acknowledge the "why" part. Like a public fart, that sort of "why?" simply does not exist, socially, and should be ignored no matter how often repeated.

Answer 4

ARHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the story of my life!! If I had a dollar for every time I was asked this same question in my life I would get married and live happily ever after.My family and friends including my church family always stick this in the conversation at some point.I always tell them that they need to hook me up!!I think it is a lack of them thinking of anything else intelligent to say.Like throwing the ball back in your court.I usually hear a snare drum at that point.TaDa-bump!! It blows my mind every time.I don't know why God has not allowed me a match made in heaven but I am patiently waiting.God Bless You!!Peace and don't let it get to you!!!

Answer 5

Get married to some guy and shut them up. Finding a life mate is very simple.

Answer 6

Believe me, most of the time it is just a stupid question. Tell them when the right man or woman comes along and the time is right then and only then will you get married.
Marriage is not all that it is crackek up to be.

Answer 7

Tell them to butt out. You want to make sure you find the right parnter before marriage. I got married to fast and now im going through a divorce after only 2 years of marriage. So dont rush things. You will meet someone who will sweep you off your feet. Do what your heart tells you and be happy. God bless and good luck!

Answer 8

Ignore all these people that tell you that you have to be nice to your elders. What have our elders ever done for us, anyway? With the exception of a rare few, they've turned today's civilisation into a living hell. And they have the nerve to blame today's youth on all the problems that the world faces.

As long as you aren't hurting anyone and feel comfortable with your life, you have every right to live it the way you please. And you are under no obligation to respect those that feel the need to intrude in your personal life. Peace.

Answer 9

Ignore them when they ask, as if they are invisible. You think, "that's rude"? Well, so is badgering you about your PERSONAL life constantly. It's one thing for family members to care, and quite another for them to see you as some defect because you haven't accomplished THEIR goal for you.

They obviously can't take the hint that you're bothered by the consistent barrage of why-aren't-you-married-yet line of questioning, so refuse to answer or put up with their silliness anymore.

Answer 10

Because they are probably closed minded and not open to the idea that many paths in life are acceptable besides the one they chose or insist on believing in. Even traditions are man-made and can be changed by the individuals.