Should I change my middle name??...?

Question

So I am getting married soon, and I will change my last name to my husbands.

The question I am asking is whether or not to change my middle name. Here is my dilemma:

I hate my middle name now. It is my mom's maiden name, and it is ugly and hard to pronounce. So my whole life I've had it, and I've always wanted just a normal middle name like "Ann" or "Jane" (not necessarily these, just for example).
So usually when you get married you take your current last name and make it your middle, with the new one as your last. But if I did this, I would be stuck with ANOTHER middle name that is really a last name!
I am afraid that if I change i completely my family will think I am disrespecting them, or trying to get rid of them or something.

Would it be incredibly wierd to just change it to something else?

Answer 1

It was customary, in the past for a woman to drop her middle name when she became married and use her maiden name as her middle name. My MIL is very old fashioned and she did this. An example would be Susan Jane Smith would become, when she married, Susan Smith Jones.

There is nothing wrong with having two middle names. I have 3 sisters, and all 4 of us (including myself) have two middle names. When I married my husband I didn't want to give up my maiden name, so I hyphenated my last name so now I have 5 names total.

When you get married, if you want, you can even drop your middle name and not have one at all. Nothing says you have to have a middle name. I see wedding licenses all the time will John "nmn" Smith. "Nmn" stands for no middle name. Most of the time, I don't use my middle names.

In the end, do what you want to do. You're the one who will have to live with your name for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

There is no law that states you have to have a middle name and no law that says you have to keep your maiden name. Why not keep it simple and drop your middle name and just take your new husbands name.
Also for security reasons, I would say it is best not to keep your middle name because all credit card co. banks, etc. always want your mothers maiden name to verify you are the right person they are speaking to. So just that alone would be a good reason not to keep it. I am sure your family would understand that.

Answer 3

Changing your middle name is your choice. Just keep in mind that since your current middle name is your mom's family name, her feelings may be hurt by it. Another option to consider is changing your middle name just the initial, I've known a few people who have done that.

Answer 4

I kept my middle name when I got married and took my husband's last name. My sister kept our maiden name and took her husband's last name. I don't think our folks cared one way or another.

You can do what someone here suggested, drop a middle name all together.

good luck with whatever you decide, and congrats on your marriage!

Answer 5

You could always just use the initial of the middle name you don't like instead of changing it.

Answer 6

I agree that you shoudl keep your midle name as it is. That is who you ARE! Changing it to something else is really pointless b/c how often does the subject of your middle name even come up?? I am sure very rarely. Just leave it!

Answer 7

I have never heard if when you get married you madien name turn into your middle name. When I got married I just drop my madien name and took my husband. I don't think you family would find it disrespecful but like most people I think they would find it weird.

Answer 8

Maybe it is time to make a fresh start, along with your new marriage, as long as you feel good about. You had better feel very strongly about the name, though, to make such a big change.

Answer 9

You don't need a middle name.

Answer 10

ok
why don't you make your current last name your new middle name???
i have a few friends that did that