How would you choose?

Question

I am stuck between two guys. I like them both very much, and they both like me. They both know that I like them and that I am also close to the other. I don't want people to choose for me, I'm more interested in how others would make a decision like this...

Answer 1

I don't know how many times in life I made one choice over another when I could have had both. I am sixty-three years old now and the choice I make these days is to experience as much of life as I possibly can. I would spend time with both of these guys. I would get to know them both better. I would opt for some quality time with each of them so I wouldn't short-change my own interest in either of them and if possible, I would also introduce them to each other. They are all part of the human family, and nobody should be left outside. We need to stay connected to other people, especially as we get older. The minute you start to isolate yourself, you begin to paint yourself into a corner without windows. I encourage you to keep it light enough so no one gets hurt, and get involved enough so you don't feel llike an air head when you are with either of them. Find common interests and by all means, dine with each of them. The way you feel next to someone while you are trying to enjoy your dinner is often the basis of lifelong friendships. If later you wish to pursue knowing these fellows beyond friendship, that might possibly be a choice where one of them would be in a different balance with you than the other. Right now, you can afford to have a great time with them both, and this is the choice I would have you make. I would also encourage you to make a dozen new friends before the end of next month if possible. Every person you meet can help you be a great person. Great in this sense: you can bring your personal experiences to bear upon others to improve the quality of their lives as you go ahead with your own life. I am sending this to you with a big hug and the hope you will not choose this nor that, but all of this, all of that, some of that over there, a dash of this and a sprinkle of some of those and try some orange sherbert and vanilla ice cream together. They are incredibly yummy together! There. Surprise! Best to you, Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A.

Answer 2

It depends what I see in them.
If this is only intended to be a short term, good time acquaintance I would chose the one whose sense of fun complimented my own.
If my sights were set a little more seriously than that then I would draw up a list of my hopes, dreams and needs for the future, with some allowance for personal growth and compromise.
I would then ask them both (seperately, and in a relaxed setting) where they saw themselves in five years time, and see how this compares.
Always bearing in mind though, that a man who knows his limits and sets realistic goals (which probably won't be as spectacular as my dream ones) is most likely to acheive the most consistant results and stick with me in the long term.
If I was really serious, I would ask them what they thought my faults were and then, what they thought their own faults were, as it's the best way to see what their take on the relationship is, and just how forgiving they really are.
This is a really tricky situation. The quick fix is to close my eyes - imagine them both finding love elsewhere - and work out which upset me the most. If I can be happy for both of them - then I really shouldn't be wasting their time.

Answer 3

Do you know them both very well? If not, I would get to know them better. Some things to look for are how well he treats you, would he take care of you when you are sick, does he make you happy, does he want to have children with you, is he honest, is he respected by others, do you like his family and do they like you, do you have similar ideals, etc....sometimes you just never know...even if you do make a bad decision, the lesson learned is that love isn't easy. The most important thing is to find someone who inspires you to be your best.

Answer 4

Get a sheet of paper, draw a vertical line right down the middle, one side PROS one side CONS for each person, then, being perfectly honest, write them down of whichever side they fall, finally, ditch the one with the least PROS, and if the "Winner" has a great deal of PROS and very few Cons, stick to them, propose if you wish to go down that road together, but NEVER let them go. And "Good Luck" May the force be with you !!

Answer 5

I say make up a pros and cons list for both of them. From there you can visualize which guy has better prospects. Also y seem to be closer to one than the other.

Answer 6

Don't see either of them for 2 weeks, and the one you miss the most/ think about more, is the one you should be with. Another way of looking at it is this: If neither of them stands out enough for you to want him, and only him; then maybe neither is 'the one'. Good luck.

Answer 7

I have been in this situation before, and I chose... neither of them.
I decided that if either of them was right for me, I wouldn't be dithering about and unable to decide.

It's a hard decision to make but it worked for me.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 8

I have been in that situation before , and I chose the right guy and i know your wondering how well..... i really just compared them in which one would be right for me and have more fun with and more open with ......... you always like one more then one you know . the guy i chose I defently new i liked more already thats why i think it was more easy for me . i am sure you'll make the right decision just good luck ok . do pros and cons that easy . well vote me best please

Answer 9

Well you would have to compare the two... Who do you have more fun with? Who are you attracted to more? Who can you see yourself being in a relationship with? These are things I would consider when making this tough decision. :)

Answer 10

Have you ttried asking them if they'll both see you?
(If the answers yes pick the other guy!)