i like this girl at work but i find it really hard to approach her because i get quite nervous and shy. when i talk to her, i talk about silly things and i tend to repeat myself sometimes. how do i conquer this fear? she's always on my mind but i haven't told her anything about it. don't plan on telling her either because she's got a boyfriend and expressing my feelings to her would be very wrong.
we've had good times together. went out and ate, shared chocolates, etc etc but i'm still shy. how the hell do i get over this?
2006-07-23 17:31:43 · 15 answers · asked by surfer_dude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not gonna back off, so don't bother telling me that. Just f*ck off
2006-07-23 18:01:51 · update #1
She's got a boyfriend, so back off and look for someone else in the meantime.
2006-07-23 17:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are generally more perceptive than you think friend. If you act nervous around her, she knows what you're thinking. In my opinion, it's best if you don't follow through with conquering this fear you have with her. If a relationship in the workplace fails, it can be a very awkward experience from then on. Just be happy you're friends with her.
Instead, I would work with this fear of yours just about anywhere else besides the workplace. Anywhere you see an attractive women, just make an effort to start up a conversation with them. Don't worry about what she thinks of you. Just focus on conquering the fear of talking to them. Who knows? You might even hit it off with a complete stranger. (If you do, make sure you've got a pen with you so you can get her number.)
The more and more you strike up a conversation with people you don't know, (even with other guys for that matter) the easier it becomes. Eventually your confidence level will be high enough that you won't fear rejection anymore.
Yes, there will be rejection, but you'll find that some people are very receptive as well. Some people are cold, and some aren't. Just don't worry about it if someone doesn't want to talk to you and move on.
2006-07-24 00:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by Axel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your right about not sharing your feelings towards her right now because she has a boyfriend and most likely she would tell him what you said. But that doesnt mean keep it all inside. When the time is right you will tell her how u feel.
This fear can be conquered. You just have to think before u speak. When you talk to her act like she is only a friend and nothing more! tell yourself that she isnt "that girl" you have on ur mind constantly and that should help. Have confidence. Talk to her like you do your guy or girl friends.
2006-07-24 00:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am shy too! The best way to handle it is approach it like an interview for a job or a big presentation at school imagine sitting in front of a room with a bunch of strangers and imagine them all doing something funny.
2006-07-24 00:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. It's called "honesty".
You may just have to brace yourself, tell her, and get it over with. If she backs off, at least you'll be able to stop torturing yourself with those semi-platonic dates and move on with your life; or, if you can handle it, be content with having her as a really good friend.
As Captain Kirk once said to Charlie X, "There are a million things in this Universe you can have, and a million things you can't. It's no fun facing that, but that's the way things are."
2006-07-24 00:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by almintaka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off jack before her bf starts to breathe down your throat with a revolver! Stay chit/chat friends and nothing more for the time being. Just be there as a friend. Maybe the bf won't be in the picture much longer and then you can improve your flirting skills. OH...work place romances can be messy.
2006-07-24 00:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to other girls you know and practice thinking that's its her so the you will get the feel for what its like to talk to her and not feel weird try to think about what you say before you say it so you don't sound stupid if she has a boyfriend just be like a good friend you don't wanna get on the way of that because in the end it will be bad!
2006-07-24 00:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can't read your mind - if you want her to know how you feel, you gotta just lay it on the table. If you're worried about losing her as a friend, then wait for the right time. But keeping it in clearly isn't doing much, is it?
2006-07-24 00:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by Cardman100000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys have already gone out, then whats the big deal. I'm sure by now that the girl knows how you feel. Just be yourself :)
2006-07-24 00:35:31 · answer #9 · answered by Gina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ok, she has a man in her life, all you can do is be your self and be a great mate, dont be so shy, i think she would all ready no how you feel, us women are not silly ok, we no, lol but dont be to shy if she keeps comming back to see you, then you are fine the way you are, trust me
2006-07-24 00:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by louise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋