Is this a weird situation? Got any advice....?

Question

So I found this person on myspace who is from the town I live in. We started emailing back and forth. He says he's seen me b4, but he can't remember where and that he never forgets a pair of eyes, especially pretty ones like mine. He's also told me to continue to email him like daily cause he likes reading them. The thing is, i'm a mother of 1 child going through a divorce. I'm 22 and the guy is 23 and I really like this guy. I'm worried that he might look down on the fact that I have a child. I guess what i'm wondering is if it sounds like this guy likes me? I'm also wondering if guys really look down on single mothers? I don't know what to do, if I should make a move and ask him out or not. Any advice would be helpful and i'd really appreciate it....Thanks everyone!

Answer 1

Well my advice is to tell him straight up front, honesty is the best way to keep a relationship strong. it let your partner know that you have nothing to hide from him to put a relationship in jeopardy.

As for him liking you; I think he does. He likes to take time out of his day and just sit and read your letters, most men that are not interested in the person would not take the time. I have know idea what you write but it might sooth him after a hard day at work knowing that he can look forward to your letters.

As for the single thing with a child; its hard to say. I would imagine the guy that you like to not care if you were single w/o a child or single with a child, it just might make him happy that he can be a father. But I do not know alot about that kind of situation.

Making a move; do what comes naturally if he ask you out then go with it, if you feel like asking him to go to dinner then so be it. some men are shy about that kind of thing, so the lady will have to step up to the plate and ask.

I hope I could help. And the best of wishes;

-Doc-

Answer 2

Well, there really isn't anything you can do about this situation. I mean you are a mother and if there is any hope of having a relationship with this guy, then he's going to have to know you have a child a somepoint. So, hopefully he's mature enough to deal with that.

Now, it isn't that guys look down on a single mother, its just that children add a level to a relationship that some guys aren't comfortable with. It isn't that they just want the sex or aren't willing to commit. Many guys just aren't ready to deal with a child in a fatherly manner. It is another level of commitment your asking from him when you bring your child into his life and he has the right to turn down that committment (hopefully in an honest and mature way...I know that can be asking alot!!).

The good news is that you NEVER know which guys are OK with it and which ones aren't. You just gotta ask. If I were you, I'd let him know as soon as the time is right and things seem to be developing past the friendship stage. Communicate to him how you feel when the times is right and why your telling him about your child and what you expect and don't expect from him. This way, you let him know right up front before you get into a deep relationship and bring this out.

I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 3

Well if he is acting interested then he has probably already noticed the fact that you have a child.. I'm sure your babys pictures are on your MySpace.. Or if he saw you then he might have seen you with your baby

Basically if you are already flirting back&forth - He is already fine with the fact you are a single mother.

Honestly I think most men - at least the mature respectful ones that are the ones you want anyway - the ones that are worth it - Are going to REALLY respect you..

It is soo sexy when a woman is working, raising a child on her own, and is independent and strong..

Many men will be very attracted to this and in no way would any man look down on you for raising your child! If they do - then they are just out looking for sex and that is THEIR problem

Answer 4

Hun, any man that wouldn't accept your child is not a man that you want to be with! Your child comes first above all else! Don't ever make the mistake of being a mother who puts men before her child - your child will hate you for it later! There is a man out there who will embrace both you and your child. Just be patient! Anyways, if your in the middle of a divorce, your focus should be your child. Even at a year old, their going to know something is going on and needs more of your love and reassurance than ever!

Answer 5

You don't say much about the guy, but he sounds like quite the flirt. Sounds like he likes you. He is close to your age, which is good, but does he have the maturity to be a part of your child's life? Did you ask him if HE has kids? That might be a good way to start a conversation and ask if he ever WANTS kids, which could tell you a lot. The guys seems kinda needy in asking you to email him everyday. I think you need to talk to him extensively on the phone before asking him out.

Answer 6

Hey you never know where love is hiding, just be carefull and honest. A single mom is not a turn of for me, I actually find it attractive when a woman takes resposibilty for her past. What is unattractive is if you where a bad single mother but I doubt thats you. If he doesn't accept you and your child then he's not the one for you. But give him a chance he obviously likes you or he wouldn't want to talk with you all the time. Alot of us guys are shy and secretly hope the girl makes the first move. Good luck!

Answer 7

Ok so what i'm hearing is that you're afraid that if you tell him you have a child, he will not want to be with you. It sounds to melike you're ashamed of your child or the fact that you're a mom. I'm a single mom and I tell every person that I meet that I am a mom because I am damn proud of it. It would be wrong of you not to tell him and have him find out later, then he will not trust you. And if this guy takes off whn he learns you have a child then he is NOT worth it. You need to step up and face the fact you're a mom and be proud of it.

Answer 8

He likes your eyes?! Maybe he likes your eyes mounted on the wall in his basement.

Have you heard of crazy people who eat other people?! They use this thing called the internet to meet you because sunlight burns their skin an awful red when they leave their basement dungeon.

Update your myspace, declare your proud mothership to the world and see if he reacts badly, like leaving a boiling rabbit in your kitchen while your in the other room or symbols copied off an old copy of the Dungeon Master's Guide in cat's blood on your garage door.

Okay, maybe I'm just being cautious here...sorry, I just want you to keep on your toes (and maybe buy a bulletproof jacket)

Good luck on the divorce, and keep a tazer under your pillow for the next 8 years or so... By the way, please vote my answer BEST!

Answer 9

My only advice is to be honest. If you are not honest at first, it only leads to disappointment. It would be really bad if you fall for him hard and then tell him that you have a child and he wants nothing to do with you.

I don't think guys really look down on single mothers. If the man really likes you, he will love your child also.

Also, please be careful on dating people that are on the internet. Make sure you are sure you know what you are doing before you meet him.

Good luck!

Answer 10

It does sound like he is flirting with you, and he wants to get to know you better. After you have established a good relationship with him, ask to meet up with him by exchanging phone numbers. Whenyou meet up, start a conversation, and you should bring up the fact about your children. IF he really is intrested he will not let it stop him from getting to know you better. If it does then he's wasn't ment for you. He'll find out evectually anyway, so get it over with. It's better to lose someone to the truth, then keep them in a lie.