It's like no matter how hot a woman looks, a man is willing to take advantage of her and not have any feelings for her. I mean, in the past, I've had guys who said to me that I'm hot and that I look good, but when they got what they wanted, they just left me. So, I'm thinking if sex is just what a guy wants, then should looks matter? It's like being attractive is a curse in a way because you attract most guys who just want to go to bed with you and not be interested in a serious relationship. I mean, I see women who are either average or unattractive looking and they're in a serious relationship, which is what I'm looking for. So, if sex is the only thing a guy wants, then should looks matter if she's unattractive?
2006-07-23 15:53:46 · 24 answers · asked by Dreamyeyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
then don't have sex until the relationship is serious that's my advice
2006-07-23 15:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by brenda4ever 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lot or responces. Lets see if we can cut through to the fact from the fiction, the truth from the diction. Should looks matter? No. Should it matter it is really just a booty call or NSA encounter, certainly no. But we are human. We have been wired(or programmed)from the time we knew what language was to get the newest, softest, shiniest, biggest whatever, toy, muffen, etc. If you were dinig with friends and you all odered the same plate but yours came to the table with all the food intermixing with eachother instead of being arrainged neatly. You'd sent it back to the kichen and most likely be annoyed. Why? All the food will get mixed when you eat it, and all go to the same place. It is no less eatible because of the arrangement on the plate but it is what it looks like.
Guys will hump a gal even if she is not a beauty queen or rich like a movie star. She can be slinging burgers as some dive. So long as she is not 3 bag ugly(one bag for her face, one for yours if hers break, and a spare if either bag breaks)a guy will hit that. And unlike women he doesn't have to justify it with those 3 words, "I love you". I have heard women have sex when they love someone to feel specially contected. A guy does not need that. Sex is just sex. The hunt, the chase. whatever you want to call it. When a girl comes to a guy like a nut in a snack tray once he has ate it or it falls from his fingers, he just grabs another. The best way not to get humped and dumped is not to be quick to let anyone between you and your Victorias.
I do not know what you look like. Attractive comes in what is universally accepted. Jessica Alba, or Nataly Portman type(not that it goes for 100% of guys), or the cute "girl next door" type. All comes down to who is looking. It is no curse. Because it leaves you with many options. And ultimate control. Since you know what they are about, you can direct the action.
Go by his actions. Not what his mouth says. If "I love you" gets him the keys to the Magic Kingdom. he will use it. If he treats you like the king does his gold, and does so in a respectful manner and not a suck up, kiss a** manner as if his actions are the way to the bedroom.
An avergage, or near average guy is more likely to treat you better. The Fox series Avererage Joe, the Joe was always more vested in the relationship than the hunk. But even that fact, and the fact that the Joe had a better career or finacial outlook than the hunk. Looks won the day at the end, and the Joe never flew off in the jet with the girl. But a guy who feels that he was as lucky as a mice that fell in a grain vat full of grain, is a guy who will be loyal, and treat you the way you seek and should be.
2006-07-23 22:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I can relate to your situation to some extent.
I read a book "He's just not that into you" and it said that when a women sleeps with a man right away she comes across as insecure and not valuing herself too much. Guys are very sexual beings and they find their worth through how many women they sleep with. If you want to be in a serious relationship, maybe hold off sex for 3-4 dates or so and see if men respond differently. For those men who leave after sleeping with you, they were using you for sex not because they really like you. I have the opposite trouble. I am old fashioned and I tended to date men who want sex on the first date. Since I don't sleep with them right away they leave. Why? Because they were trying to use me for sex. You know what I say to guys like that Yuckkk!!!
Those unattractive women probably have something to offer beyond looks..
2006-07-23 16:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by ccas2200 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Humans are visual creatures, and guys moreso (generally) than women...it's okay for looks to matter because when we see something we think is nice to look at, we generally want to get to know more about it...
Lesser attractive women get used for sex as well, but sure if all a guy wants is sex, he's going to shoot for the prettiest girl (in his opinion) that he can get to go to bed with him...
Women can curtail some of this by not jumping into bed so quickly with guys...if all a guy wants is sex, and the woman makes him wait, he's likely to move on...you might not "get the guy" so to speak, but will feel better about yourself for not having let yourself be used...
2006-07-23 16:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just not understanding the non-verbal signs of the player guys who are the pump and dump type. First thing to do is qualify the guy first. Ask questions. Learn about his past. Stop giving it up so fast, make sex an important worth waiting for idea. If they can't hold out, then your picking the wrong guys.
Their are plenty of guys who want you for more than sex.
2006-07-23 16:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you sleeping with these guys before you know if they're sincere or not? Cuz you're looking for sex? If not, slow down and don't go to bed so soon. And to answer your question, No, they shouldn't matter, but they do. We're visual animals, and looks are a turn-on. Fortunately, we don't all like the same things.
2006-07-23 15:59:55 · answer #6 · answered by Teacher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks matter somewhat. The key is to find a guy that will bring out the best in who you really are. Finding that type of guy may take a while but its very rewarding and I think since you have had experience in dating that you will find a guy that will love you for who you are.
2006-07-23 15:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by Chelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a large woman and I was starting to feel that all my relationships were sex-based. One night, I made a commitment to myself and God that I wasn't having sex until I was married. One year and 23 days later, I was married to a guy I met the afternoon before I made and kept that commitment. The ones who want sex right away aren't worth your time!
2006-07-23 16:00:26 · answer #8 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, looks don't matter. If you're a hot chick, the worthless guys will want to "bag you". Don't have sex on the first date and especially not the first meeting. I suspect you are a "hot chick" and some guys just want a notch on their belt. They aren't the ones you want anyway so don't do it.
What matters is love, and that love is what makes you beautiful to your partner.
2006-07-23 15:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by Doodaa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, looks should matter to a certain extent, but when it becomes the only thing the guy is interested in, then it becomes a problem. People should be interested in not only looks, but personality too.
2006-07-23 15:57:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jonas A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So maybe you'd wanna be a lot more picky and less niave. Stop being a flubbin idiot about guys and thinking its all fun.
But on the flip side, why are you giving it up so easily before really knowing someone ? Sounds to me like a your a very stuck up and self centered person.
2006-07-23 16:32:31 · answer #11 · answered by Baghdad Pete ! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋