My boyfriend and I are going overseas on the 1st August. On the weekend we moved into his parents house to save on rent while we are away. They haven't welcomed me at all (ie shown me around), in fact, they haven't even spoken to me since i've been there. I feel really uncomfortable there. To make it worse, my boyfriend works late nights so I'll be there with them alone. How can I get through the next few days with them if I feel i'm not welcome? Should I just keep to myself??
2006-07-23 15:48:35 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is a tough situation and I certainly don't envy you. The best way to get through it will be to keep to yourself unless asked otherwise. Who knows? Alot of in laws resent daughter in law for the things they percieve she makes them do that they didn't do when they were single. Alot of them just can't let go and totally resent their daughter in law and that is to their shame. Remember to be nice, civil, always smile and remember that most of the time they are just way off base and totally clueless. Laugh about it to yourself - it is kind of funny how in laws are and how most all of them have issues with the daughter in law that are totally ridiculous and unfounded causes for their worries and anger. One thing that helps me alot is to remember that even though they are going to do and say and behave a certain way - mother in laws especially have a way of repeating what they do over and over and over. So - after awhile you can figure out what they are going to say next and they never catch you off guard because it was a repeat of your last enounter with them - then you'll laugh on the inside and it will help you hang in there. After awhile you can read them like a book and you just know what they are going to do in every situation. As much as possible I avoid the situations where there is a high potential for them to really get those digs in - but times like this call for comic relief. So laugh to yourself. In their mind - your starting a new family and traditions is absolutely threatening to everything they want to do and be for their son. One thing I always try to remember is - well someday - when I'm a mother in law - how could I do things different than this so my daughter in law will love me rather than think that I hate her and resent everything that she does?
2006-07-23 16:00:08 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what ever you do only be nice and polite do not give them any reason to not like you
parents can be like that i know all about it
offer to help around the house
tell them you are going to read or do something in your room and to call out if they need anything
usually it is the mother that will be the problem and is more of a jealousy thing of you being in her sons life.... the dad usually sits quietly to keep the peace with his wife
dont take it personally she is just being an overprotective mother
make dinner or something and dont let it get to you
2006-07-23 15:58:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember "kindness kills". No matter what make sure that u do all that u can do to be nice and just try to start conversations with them, especially when your boyfriend is around. That way he will see that u are trying to make an effort and his parents are not. So he will be on your side and not theirs, so there will be no fighting between you guys. Good luck, in-laws can be a pain in the butt!!!!
2006-07-23 15:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by luvinmjc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey ,I know how u feel .Even I had the worst time with my ILs its like i was counting now its 9 a.m ,now 9:15 a.m.Honey IL's never welcome the DIL.If they have their way they wudnt let their sons get involved at all.I learnt this trick when i went to meet my IL's .I took a novel and after eating went into my room , closed the door , read the book and came out at dinner time.
One complaint i have with my IL's is they nag and nag and nag about meaningless things and want me to listen to the dribble.
dont worry u also be aloof sooner or later they will start talking to u .
2006-07-23 16:24:07 · answer #4 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you are in a bad situation but look on the bright side this is a good opportunity for them to get to know who you really are so be the better person have manners to them do your chores around the house try to do stuff with his mother like baking cooking ect. show them how much you love their son by treating him right remember no mother ever really likes the woman who replaces her in her son life let her understand their is enough space for both of you in his life
be strong my dear and you'll see everything will work out
2006-07-23 16:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by grey_eye@rogers.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anything you can do like shop or go outside the house until he comes home? If not, bring something to keep you occupied and away from them if you don't get along.
2006-07-23 15:52:50 · answer #6 · answered by noseygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for a long walk with your mother in law. Ask her some questions about your hubbys childhood. His favorite games, what he did that was cute when he was a baby. stuff like that. it will bring you and her a little closer together. she will treat you better when you get back to the house.
2006-07-23 15:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stay in your room while your boyfriend is out of the house.
You may wish to take some snacks & drinks so you won't suffer.
And you really need to discuss with your b/f that you should not have to be with his parents since you nor they are comfortable.
My M-I-L hated me. I just never went with him to visit but I never stopped him from going.
2006-07-23 15:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by Cookie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to talk to them. If that doesn't work, than stay out of their way as much as possible. It's only a few days.
2006-07-23 15:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by shortycupcake_ci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax, be open and friendly. Try to initiate small talk. Find out what really interests them, and pursue that. Smile and listen a lot.
2006-07-23 15:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by rockEsquirrel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋